The Fixed Trilogy: Fixed on You(42)

I was a bit shallow like that, and definitely the jealous type when in the throes of obsession. But I was playing a part, so why not make my character void of my own imperfections? “No jealousy then. What about his family? Is he close to them or is he as withdrawn with them as with everyone? I can’t quite tell.”


“He loves them all, deeply. As deeply as Hudson can love anyone, I mean. But it takes quite a lot of perception to get that.” She leaned back in her chair and eyed me. “I think someone he was in love with would know that.”

I nodded, taking it in. Then I dove into the question that had plagued me since I’d first heard about his predicament. “Why doesn’t Hudson’s mother believe that he’d be in love? Other than that she’s a cold-hearted bitch herself.” This elicited a grin from Celia. “Has he never dated anyone before?”

“Sort of. I mean, he’s dated women. Not women he ever brought to meet his mother, but, yeah he dated.”

The stabbing pain returned. Simultaneously, I noted a flash of agony darken Celia’s bright face. It occurred to me that this conversation must be even more difficult for her, considering she actually had feelings for the guy and I had…well, not feelings, but something.

“You know, date is not the right word. He’d sleep with them. And then he’d mess with them. It got him in all sorts of trouble. More than once.”

I stilled. “What do you mean messed with them?”

“I shouldn’t tell you. He doesn’t want you to know. But I really think you should. Otherwise you might be caught off guard if Sophia says something.”

My voice was a whisper. “How did he mess with them?”

She sighed. “It’s hard to explain. Like, he’d say he only wanted to be friends or friends with benefits, but then he’d manipulate them in that way of his, you know, how he always gets what he wants?”

Boy, did I. I could only manage to nod.

“He’d manipulate these women into falling in love with him. Which isn’t really hard, I mean, he is Hudson. But he’d really play them. Lead them on, get them really hooked on him. It was like a game for him—one of the crappy things spoiled rich kids do just because they can.” She paused. “I can say that because I love Hudson dearly. Also, I’m a spoiled rich kid, too.”

The world felt like it had fallen out from underneath me. Was that what Hudson was doing with me? My throat felt tight. “Does he, um, still do that?”

“I honestly don’t know. He’s had a ton of therapy so I’d like to say he’s ‘better’ now, but who knows? Of course, because of it, his mother got the idea that if he married someone like me, I could keep him in line. And my parents want me married to the Pierce name and bank account—they’re disgustingly greedy. But I could never deal with those head trips—even though I am very fond of him. And I’d love to get in that beautiful man’s pants. Can you imagine how gorgeous our children would be? Sigh.”

She said the word sigh instead of actually sighing. That was what I clung to from her monologue because I didn’t want to think about the rest. Therapy helped people—it did, I couldn’t deny it—but I had doubts that it had fixed me. And knowing what I knew about patterns of past behavior, I recognized that Hudson should not be having just sex with anyone if he were seriously “better.”

Exactly like I shouldn’t be in an emotionless relationship if I were “better” since a lack of affection from a person I desired was one of my triggers.

I put a hand on my knees under the table to stop their knocking. I had to get out of there.

Celia continued, unaware of my torment. “But this plan of Hudson’s is brilliant. As soon as Sophia relaxes enough to believe he’s fallen for you, she’s going to be ecstatic. She wants him to be normal. She wants him to be happy and in love. I want him to be happy and in love. Too bad it’s not real.”

Yeah, too bad.

She frowned, concern etched in her brow. “Are you okay? You seem really pale.”

No, I wasn’t f*cking okay! I’d just been informed that the man I shouldn’t have been f*cking in the first place was probably trying to f*ck with my head as well as my body. “I’m not feeling well all of a sudden.” Not a lie. I seriously thought I might throw up. “Excuse me, I have to…” I couldn’t think of any excuse to leave. I only knew I had to…“Go.”

I snaked quickly through the crowd toward the doors, pushing my way into the packed lobby. The show was starting in fifteen minutes and I was going against traffic. I ducked and headed for a different door when I saw Sophia by the bar, hoping she didn’t see me. Not because I cared anymore about Hudson’s stupid scam but because I didn’t want to deal with her.

Focusing on avoiding Sophia, however, made me completely miss that I was walking right past Hudson.

“Where are you going?” He reached a gentle arm out to stop me, and familiar tingles shot straight to my womb.

Accompanying the tingles, my stomach churned in disgust. I threw his arm off mine. “Don’t touch me!”

Hudson’s brow knit in confusion. “Whoa.” He put his hands out in front of him, showing he wouldn’t touch me but blocking my route of escape. “What’s wrong with you?”

I scanned the lobby for a way to sneak past. “What’s wrong with you would be the more appropriate question.”