The First to Die at the End (Death-Cast #0)(79)

“I hate it too. I like knowing that it doesn’t die with me. You’re the first person I’ve spoken to about Vale.”

“Not even Scarlett?”

“No. I’m like you that I’m not sure how realistic all that was. I certainly believed I’d have more time to make those dreams come true, but there were still so many barriers. I didn’t want Scarlett to get so excited only to not watch it all happen. Especially because she wants a big family of her own; she’s hoping for triplets. She would’ve offered to name a kid Vale for me, but that would’ve meant giving up on my Vale. I might have to take her up on that now.”

Story idea: a graveyard for dead dreams, headstones marking each one.

I hope I can find a happy ending for that.

“If something happens, will you tell Scarlett for me?” Valentino asks.

“Of course. This world will have a Vale Prince, even if I got to name my kid that.”

He scoffs. “You’re just saying that.”

I stop and grab his wrist. “Hell no, I’m serious. I’d never lie to you. First name, Vale. Middle name, Prince. Last name, Pagan.”

“Vale Prince Pagan,” Valentino says, testing it out. He stares out into the city skyline, like he’s imagining this child growing up in the city he didn’t get to. “They’ll have your curls and loud laughs.”

“It sucks that they won’t have your blue eyes.”

“Hazel is really beautiful too,” Valentino says.

He turns to me with this intense gaze.

I press my hand to his chest and walk my fingers up to his collarbone.

“I’m happy the kid will have your heart.”

“Technically, you’ll have my heart.”

There’s a fire growing inside me, but this isn’t a heart attack.

This is life lighting me up.

“You’ve had my heart since the start, Valentino.”

I’m burning, burning, burning.

“And you’ve given me the best End Day, Orion.”

“It’s not over. There’s still lots of firsts ahead of you.”

“There’s one I’d love more than others.”

“Then carpe fucking diem—”

Valentino’s heart-shaped lips shut me the fuck up.





Valentino


1:01 p.m.

One second into my first kiss, and I already hope it won’t be my last.

It’s gentle even though I’ve been starving for a moment like this for years—and during the best parts of my End Day. It’s like Orion and I are savoring each other until we become greedy. The kiss builds from slow to fast, soft to strong, like my heartbeat. It’s so passionate that my head knocks the baseball cap off of his. I have half a thought to leave it there on the ground, but that’s from his father and deserves more respect. I somehow manage to break the kiss and bend down for the hat. As I’m rising, I lift Orion by his hamstrings and he wraps his legs around my waist. I’ve always wanted to carry another boy like that.

Orion kisses me from above, and I’m seeing stars.

Add this kiss to the list of things I don’t want to end. But whether it’s a morning jog or the perfect kiss, all good things must come to a stop when you need to breathe.

Orion unwraps his legs from around me and slides down my body until we’re face-to-face. I put his cap back over his curls, and he adjusts it just as he likes it; I’ll get it right next time.

“Hi,” he says.

“Hi. That was memorable.”

“Hey, I might suck at history, but I can make it.”

The Brooklyn Bridge offers many views. At the very top, there’s an American flag waving in the wind. There are the cars driving beneath us and the river flowing further down. The buildings that I won’t have time to visit but can appreciate here. And the gray skies above everything. It’s all beautiful, but it doesn’t beat the boy who brought me here.

I sigh deeply. “You have made my End Day so hard, Orion.”

First, there’s a flirty glint in his hazel eyes, then concern when he sees I’m not smiling. “Shit, I’m sorry, did I—”

I slide my palms up his, pressing them together.

“Thank you for giving me a glimpse into the life I moved here for. It’s not going to be a long life, but I’m getting to live it because of you.”

“I don’t know how long I got either, but if you’re my first and only, then I could—”

“Don’t say you’ll die happy.”

“Then I could die . . . miserably . . .”

“That’s not great either.”

“How do I win, then?”

“By not accepting defeat. I’m honored to be your first, but I don’t want to be your only.”

“Things don’t exactly work out for me. You’re the best guy I’ve ever liked and . . . ”

I bring his hand to the inside of my overshirt, my heart beating against his palm. “After the operation, you’re going to have more time. Please use it wisely so you’re not trying to squeeze in everything in one day. Write the longest novel ever. Look for love. Start your family.”

Orion is tearing up. “Why are you hitting me with a goodbye speech right now?”