The Falling (Brightest Stars, #1)(81)

“You promise you’re okay?” I asked one last time.

“Me?” He tapped his chest with his finger. It landed on his rank badge, front and center.

I nodded. My throat was dry as a bone. “Yes, you. After yesterday, after today, in general. I really hope you’re okay,” I said, meaning it.

He smiled again. “I’m fine. Are you worried about me?” he asked playfully.

I shook my head, avoiding eye contact. He dipped his head down to make my eyes meet his.

“Karina, I think you are worried about me.”

The kitchen, my very small kitchen, felt as if it were shrinking by the second.

“I mean, I was worried, yeah. Last night was pretty damn intense. I feel like you should run away from me as soon as you can, before something worse happens to you.”

He smiled and chewed his lip again. The scar above his brow had darkened; I noticed the change of color. Some days it was more raised, others more purple. The cut he got last night was less pronounced today. I felt a little relief.

“I’ve been to war twice before the age of twenty-one. I can handle MPs, and Austin is . . . well, Austin.” He sounded like he knew my brother well and, once again, I felt left out.

“Karina, Karina, Karina,” he sang my name. There was a softness to the way it sounded that made me want to close my eyes. So I did.

Kael’s voice carried on. “You keep apologizing for things you didn’t do. I thought we were going to stop doing that,” he teased.

I loved this mood he was in. I wanted to stay in a cloud of it forever. I was blissful long enough to get addicted, enough to crave it again until reality caught up with me. What was I doing? Literally, what the hell was I doing? I opened my eyes, closing the curtain on my daydreamy moment with Kael.

I somehow managed a voice. “You sound like my old therapist.”

“Is that a good or bad thing?”

I thought about it for a second. “Both.”

“Well, if I were your therapist, I would surely advise you to stay away from men like me.”

I watched him as he nodded and inched closer to me. I wished I knew where we stood.

“Far, far away,” he whispered.

My eyes grew wider as he neared. His mouth was saying the opposite of what he was doing. Something inside me burned to know more, to know everything about him.

“And what if I don’t want to stay away?”

“It’s wise advice. But you’re the one paying the bill,” he said.

It sounded like a warning, so I moved my head back, putting a little space between us to think straight.

“What exactly is it that I’m staying away from?” I asked, “An upstanding citizen who drives women and their children home from the doctor and goes to war to fight for our country?”

“A man who has no capacity to know what’s right or wrong anymore. Someone who tears things apart”—he paused, and I could feel his warm breath flush against the apple of my cheek—“and doesn’t stay to put them back together.”

Kael’s fingers were warm when they caressed my chin, tilting my head to see his full face. His breathing slowed and the air between us became more serious. The stakes were growing with each second that passed.

“A man who’s a killer,” he whispered.

Adrenaline shot through me and I held his eyes. “I . . . I don’t know what to say to that.”

“You don’t have to say anything.” Kael’s eyes were on my lips as I nodded.

He kissed me the way I’ve only read about in poetry. I now understood what all the poets and writers complain about when they lose their love. This was that feeling they all chased, missed, remembered, would die for another chance to feel again. His lips opened and his tongue slid across mine. I would never forget this kiss, it was now a part of my DNA, the intensity of emotion, a rush unlike anything else I could explain. I wondered how anyone could possibly live after feeling this even once.

Kael’s hands lifted me up onto the counter and my legs opened and he stood between them. His hands gripped the tops of my thighs as he devoured me, body first, then mind. His ACU jacket was crunchy between us, but I could still feel his heart pounding as I put my hand on it, next to the pocket. The way his heart danced under my palm felt like he was playing a song made just for me. This connection with him, this consuming connection, was otherworldly. I had never desired to be this close to someone before, not even when I was a teenager and confused infatuation with love. Pages of all the romance novels I had read, every scene from the dozens of rom-coms, all flicked and fluttered in my mind. They finally made sense.

His hands were pressing against my back, holding me to his chest. My mouth and entire being were docile in his hands as they cupped my ass, my hips, my neck. Whoever he was and whether or not I ever found out wasn’t on my mind as I kissed him for the second, third, then the tenth time. He carried me to my room, never letting his mouth leave mine, and I used my foot to slam the door behind us. I ignored the little bell going off in my head, reminding me that I shouldn’t fall for this soldier. My body ached, begging me to give in to its desire, and as he landed us on my bed, I let my mind go mute and allowed myself to lose control for once in my life.





CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO




The heat and the sun woke me the next morning. Its brightness came with the dawn of a new way to begin my day, with someone else here. At first, I was confused when I woke up with Kael, his body running his usual insanely warm temperature. My little room was hot and steam filled the windows. My cheeks flushed with prickly heat, and I looked at him next to me. His eyes were closed, and his lips were ever-so-slightly parted. He was still in his pants and boxers; only his T-shirt and jacket were missing. He proved to be a gentleman who didn’t even try to sleep with me. I couldn’t decide if that was a chivalrous thing or an insult to my ego. Although we hadn’t slept together, it had been the best night of my life.