The Falling (Brightest Stars, #1)(49)

Kael raised his eyebrows, as if he hadn’t ever heard of anything so absurd.

“I know, right?” I continued with my story. “Anyway, it’s so insane, but the smoke was growing and as I rushed up the stairs to get Austin, I remember thinking, That quiz is the most ridiculous thing ever. Who would even think about possessions at a time like this? But there I was, in the moment, thinking about that stupid quiz—so what does that say about me?”

“I think it says that your mind was keeping you from panicking. I think it says that you have good instincts.”

I let that sink in for a moment before continuing. “When I got to Austin’s room, I shook him awake. We ran downstairs together—he was leading now, squeezing my wrist so hard, and when we got outside to the lawn, our mother was standing there just watching the smoke. She hadn’t tried to set the house on fire, nothing like that. But oddly, she wasn’t alarmed. More like she didn’t even realize what was going on.”

“Karina . . .”

“It was like one of those old movies, you know, where the madwoman starts the fire and gets mesmerized by it, like she goes into a trance—” I laughed a little, not wanting to be awkward. “Sorry, all of my stories are over the top.”

“Karina . . .” God, I loved the way he said my name.

“Oh, it’s—” I was going to say, It’s okay. That’s what I always said when I told this story. Not that I told it often. But the thing was, sitting in the dark with Kael beside me, urging me on, listening, not judging . . . Well, I knew that it wasn’t okay. It wasn’t okay at all. I could have been killed. Austin could have been killed. It was so not okay. But what was not okay was usually my reality.

“You’re a good storyteller.”

That was a kind thing to say. Not, God, your mom sounds like a wackjob. I was a good storyteller. I liked the sound of that. I liked the certainty with which he said it.

“Yeah, well, I don’t know what even got me started talking about this . . .” I did that a lot, told long tales with lots of sidetracking and other mini-stories in between.

“You not wanting to join the military,” Kael reminded me.

“Right.” I pulled myself together. “I mean, my dad was gone so much of the time and coming home from deployment but still being constantly absent while training. He was always so unhappy. My mom, too. The lifestyle basically broke her. You know . . .”

He nodded.

“So my brother and I promised after that fire that we wouldn’t live our lives that way.”

“Makes sense,” Kael said, looking around the yard, then back to me. “Wanna hear my side?”

I shook my head, teasing. He smiled.

“I get that. For real, I do. But to me, a Black kid from Riverdale, joining the Army changed the trajectory of my life. It was the thing that changed my whole family. My great-grandpa’s dad was a slave, my grandpa couldn’t find a regular fair-paying job, and my mother struggled her whole life, always encouraging me to find a way to leave, and here I am, you know? Until now, the only job I’d ever had was bagging groceries at Kroger, and now I drive a decent car, can help my mom—” He stopped abruptly.

“Don’t stop—” I urged him.

That earned me a small smile. “All the shit like that. It’s hard, yeah. Really fucking hard sometimes, but the Army was the only way I was able to afford living on my own, getting a college education, having health insurance.”

I sat, digesting. He had extremely valid points, given that his opinion of the Army was the opposite of mine.

“I get it,” I told him.

“There are two sides to everything, you know?”

I nodded, whispering, “Yeah. Two sides at least.” I tilted my head and asked, “Is your mom proud of you now?”

“Oh, of course. She tells everyone at church and anyone who’ll listen that her son is a decorated soldier. From my town, it’s kind of a big deal.” It was beyond adorable to see him turn shy and even a little embarrassed.

“Local celebrity,” I teased, leaning into his shoulder.

“Right,” he said, smiling. “Not like Austin,” he joked, as we heard my brother yelling again.

“What’s your mom like? I bet she’s—”

“We should probably go inside. You’re the chaperone, and if it stays this loud, the MPs will definitely come.”

I was well aware that he was avoiding my question, but I had already gotten more out of him than usual, so I decided not to be greedy. It was almost his birthday, after all.





CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR




The party had quieted down after a few warnings to my brother about the Military Police coming. The coffee table was littered with beer bottles and plastic cups; the game controller sat idle in front of the TV. Limp bodies covered the couch and a few people had made themselves comfortable on the floor. It was mostly guys (and mostly soldiers), except for the girl who earlier had been entwined with Austin. She was sitting alone on the floor now, moving slightly to the music, her shoulders doing this chill dance. Basically, she was doing that thing you do when you’re all alone at a party and you want to say It’s fine, I’m fine, everything’s fine.

“Do you need another drink?” I asked Kael.