The Distance Between Us(59)

“We’re not,” I say.

“What do you mean?” Xander drops his hand from my arm.

“They were all over each other.”

“No. We weren’t.” Out of the corner of my eye I see my grandmother about to reach us. “I have to go.”

“Caymen.” Xander’s eyes look hurt, but I’m hurt as well. Too hurt to think. Too hurt to defend myself against his jerk of a friend. I just need to leave.

And I do.





Chapter 37



I have competing feelings battling for my attention as I walk into the store. One is the extreme amount of anger I feel toward my mom for lying to me my whole life about everything. The other feeling is an intense broken heart that makes me want to rush into my mother’s arms and tell her she was right about rich guys and I need her to make my hurt go away.

She’s sitting like a statue behind the cash register, like she’s been waiting for me. The lights are off with only a few glowing shelves. The look on her face is almost as lifeless as the dolls that surround her.

“I’m sorry,” she says. “I’ve been unfair.”

“They were there tonight,” I croak. My throat still hurts.

“Who?”

“Your parents.”

Shock, followed by devastation, makes her face crumple, and she leans her head onto the counter in front of her. I’m too busy feeling sorry for myself to feel bad for her. I walk by her, up the stairs, and into my room, making sure to shut the door firmly.

I’ve seen lots of broken dolls in my life. Some with damage as small as a missing finger but others with dislocated limbs or cracked skulls. None of that compares to how broken I feel right now. It’s my own fault. I always knew he was part of an entirely different species. Why did I let myself think I could be a part of that?

I change out of my clothes and into some sweats then curl up on my bed and finally let the tears that have been building up inside my head come out in heaving sobs.

There’s a small knock on my door and I ignore it. It doesn’t stop her from coming in. Why would it? She obviously has no respect at all for my feelings. I push back the tears again and try to control my breathing. She sits on the bed behind me.

“There’s really no good explanation as to why I kept my parents’ identity from you. I guess maybe a small part of me thought you would want their lifestyle. That I couldn’t give you enough and you’d go look for them for what you thought you were missing.”

If she had just left me alone I could’ve kept it in, but the fire in my throat is ready to spew out. “Why did you leave them?” I push myself to sitting. “What did they do?”

“Caymen, no. They did kick me out. Disown me. I was always honest about that. But I’m sorry. I truly am. I could’ve been more open. I was angry and hurt and prideful toward my parents. I didn’t give them a chance to make amends even had they wanted to. I just disappeared.”

“And you made me feel horrible about keeping Xander a secret. You made me feel worthless. Like Mrs. Dalton and her family hated me.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Mrs. Dalton knows who you are? I don’t understand.”

“She knows my story, but I didn’t think she knew my parents. She must’ve been keeping my secret this whole time.”

“I just don’t know if I can ever trust you again. I’m angry.”

“I understand. I hope you can, but I understand.”

“And Xander. He’s not perfect but he was kind and treated me well and you didn’t even want to give him a chance. He’s not my dad. And I’m not you. I’m not going to get pregnant and run off.”

She nods. “I know.” My mom grabs her stomach and takes a sharp breath.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m fine. I just need . . .” She stands, wobbles a bit, and then steadies herself against the wall.

I stand as well. “You don’t look so good.”

“I should go to bed.” She stumbles forward and catches herself on the back of my desk chair.

“Mom. Something is wrong.”

She grabs her stomach again and rushes out of my bedroom.

I follow her straight into the bathroom, where she barely makes it in time to vomit in the sink. The sink is now bright red. “Mom! Is that blood?”

She wipes at her mouth, smearing blood across her wrist. Then she coughs.

“Has that ever happened before?”

She shakes her head back and forth.

“Okay, we’re going to the hospital. Now.”



I pace the hall, waiting for the doctor to tell me what’s going on. I’ve been here for two hours. When he finally comes out I feel close to collapsing. He looks around and I’m wondering what he’s waiting for when he says, “Just you?”

“Just me?” I don’t understand his question.

“Is anyone else here with you?”

“Oh. No. Just me.” I feel bad. Maybe I should’ve called Matthew. He should be here. He has a right to know. I make a vow to find his number and call him as soon as I’m done talking to the doctor. “Please, is my mom okay?”

“She’s doing better. We’re running some tests, trying to rule some things out. We’ve given her something to help her sleep.”