The Direction of the Wind: A Novel(93)
“You don’t have to tell me anything, but if you ever want to share something, even if it’s something bad about her, I’m ready to listen,” Sophie says.
He nods. “Maybe one day.”
“And for what it’s worth, I’m sure she loved you. She loved us both, even though she couldn’t really show that to either of us. But after unraveling the things I have, I think that’s why she wanted to bring you to India. She loved you too much to keep you in that life, and she was willing to sacrifice herself to change that for you. But the addiction that gripped her mind was stronger than the love she had for us. I have to accept that too. That she somehow thought leaving me was the best way she could love me.” Sophie’s eyes shimmer as the pain that has lingered around her begins to rise to the surface again. “But I know how hard it will be for both of us to make peace with what she did.”
Vijay shifts uncomfortably, and it’s clear he isn’t sure what he should do if she starts to cry.
“Who knows what went through her mind,” he says and then manages a half smile. “But today I hear you are getting married, and we should stay positive.”
“Maybe so.” She hesitates for a moment and then says, “There is a tradition where the men on the bride’s side carry her in on a wooden dolly. I don’t really have any direct relatives, so my fuas and cousins were going to handle it with some of their friends. Would you like to join them?”
Vijay pauses as he considers this. “I don’t speak Gujarati or Hindi or anything, so I’m not sure if I’d need to know that. I don’t want to mess anything up.”
Sophie laughs. “You’d just have to walk with them. And everyone speaks English, so you’ll be fine. If you feel up to it. If you’d rather stay with your grandmother, then no pressure.”
Vijay shrugs. “I guess I could. But won’t people wonder why some random stranger is in the wedding?”
Sophie puts her hand on his shoulder. “You aren’t a stranger. You’re my brother, and there’s no one I’d rather have join me today.”
He smiles a half smile again that reminds her so much of their mummy. “Okay.”
Sophie’s face lights up as she takes his hand and leads him out of the room toward her wedding ceremony. They step outside into the warm, humid Ahmedabad afternoon. She immediately feels beads of sweat forming underneath the heavy sari she wears and suspects Vijay must be feeling the same way as his dark suit absorbs the sun’s rays. They walk across the gravel toward her fuas and cousins, who are waiting with the wedding dolly on which she will sit for her final moments as an unmarried woman. She pauses and turns to Vijay. She sees her mummy’s familiar eyes. She squeezes his hand, and he does not pull it away. It’s not the family she expected to have on her wedding day, but it is still family. She hopes he will continue to be part of the new family she is building. The new people she will call home. With family by her side, she will never be alone. She feels a light breeze at her back and welcomes the coolness against her skin. Her body tingles, and she senses Papa’s presence in the wind and allows it to push her forward.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Having gone through the book publication process once before, I have a much greater appreciation for the village it takes to turn a story into a book. My dream had always been to publish a book, but now having the opportunity to publish multiple books has been life changing. None of this would have been possible without the sage advice of my agent, Lauren Abramo, who plucked me from her slush pile and saw something special in my writing and storytelling that she wanted to bring to readers. Thank you for encouraging me to do the restructuring that I knew was the right format for this novel but had avoided doing because of how much work it would be! I am also fortunate to have the most supportive editor in Alicia Clancy, who lets me tackle controversial topics through my stories and helps me elevate them to new levels. These two talented women have allowed me to build a career I could only have dreamed of as a young girl.
I am so grateful to the team at Lake Union, who have taught me so much over the past year with the utmost patience and support. A huge thanks to Danielle Marshall, Gabe Dumpit, Rosanna Brockley, Nicole Burns-Ascue, Elyse Lyon, and Stephanie Chou. I’ve had the fortune of having both of my covers designed by the creative genius that is Micaela Alcaino. Her dedication to understanding my stories and then crafting the right visual has been nothing short of brilliant, especially for this author, whose only input is to say what I don’t like on a cover!
My publishing journey (and my sanity) would not have been possible without my fellow APub Debut Sisters who have supported me, encouraged me, and taught me the ropes. These talented women traverse so many genres, and I’ve learned so much from each of them through their incredible storytelling and the friendships we have built. Eden Appiah-Kubi has been my rock as we navigate publishing stories that center around race, identity, belonging, representation, and equity. Jennifer Bardsley is so generous with her industry knowledge and so prolific in her writing. I could write an entire book filled only with the things I’ve learned from her, but I think she should write that book herself so every writer can benefit! Sara Goodman Confino writes some of the snarkiest, funniest rom-coms, all of which I hope are turned into films. Elissa Dickey is one of the kindest and bravest people I’ve ever met. Her writing about her autoimmune condition has helped so many people feel seen and understood, me included. Paulette Kennedy introduced me to the gothic fiction genre through her stories, allowing me to discover that there are still new genres for me to love and explore. She is also one of the most compassionate, empathetic, and strong women I have ever met. Watching her poise and strength in the face of adversity has been inspiring. Last but certainly not least, Kate Ward Myles is my fellow Hollywood-by-day, author-by-night friend. Knowing such a talented author who was going through the same balancing act was so helpful to keep me going when it felt like there weren’t enough hours in the day.