The Destiny of Violet and Luke(95)

I start to say stop, but then his finger slips inside the edge of my panties and the words are stolen out of my lips by the startling, yet amazing tingles coursing through every part of my body. I feel like I’m going to burst and the sensation only increases when he slips a finger inside me and then another. I cry out in bliss as he starts moving them, my hips bucking against his hand, my body seeking more. He kisses me passionately before his mouth delves downward, his hand leaving my arms, freeing me from his hold.

I keep my arms above my head though, my eyes shut as I gasp for air. His other hand shoves my top up. He yanks my bra down and my nipples spring free, seconds later his mouth covers my breast. I’m gone. Drowning in a sea of desire and alcohol, falling helplessly as I lose control and my body ignites. I cry out again as I dig my nails into my palms, seeking a release from the adrenaline rush I’ve been craving all night. I feel myself come apart, falling into helplessness, losing control over everything as everything inside me breaks apart and my mind drifts away. When I return back to reality, I’m exhausted, drained, but content. Luke’s no longer sucking on my nipple, but lying beside me with his elbow propped against the mattress and his head resting against his hand. He doesn’t say anything, just stares down at me, his eyes glossy, his face crammed with uncertainty, like he’s unsure—or maybe even regrets—what just happened.

“I’m sorry I had my phone off when you called me,” he says quietly. “I always turn my phone off when I’m playing poker.”

I want to tell him why I was upset, but even drunk, the idea of opening Pandora’s box stuffed with my past doesn’t seem like a good idea.

“I’m sorry I took over the room.” I offer him a tired smile.

A small smile graces his lips. “It’s fine. I was sort of intentionally sleeping out on the couch anyway, because it felt like you needed your space.”

“I thought I did… because that’s what I usually do…” I trail off, blinking through my tiredness. “But I’m not so sure anymore.”

He’s quiet for a moment. “If you need me… then I’m here.”

I take breath as he reaches over and then brushes his fingers along my ribs. He pulls my shirt back down, covering me up. It feels like the nicest thing anyone’s done for me and I feel like hugging him, but my arms are too tired.

I yawn, the drowsiness of the alcohol taking over me. “I think I’m going to go to bed,” I mumble as I flip over and practically crawl up to my pillow and collapse onto my stomach. He sits up on the edge of the bed and stares at the door. “You can go out there if you want.” I yawn again. “But I wish you’d stay here… with me…” I can barely register what I’m saying, but all I know is that when I’m in his arms, it seems like all the bad is gone.

Luke

I have never done that before. Never gave a girl everything and took nothing in return. I’d always been selfish and that was kind of the point. I wanted to be selfish instead of being walked all over.

After Violet falls asleep, telling me she wishes I’d stay with her, I sit on the bed with my head in my hands as I decide what to do. I’m seriously considering lying down with her, holding her, falling asleep because I’m exhausted. Mentally. But I can’t sort through my thoughts filled with the way she moaned and how all I wanted to do was make her moan again. Then she came and the look in her eyes was so content, so sexy, so amazing. There was so much inside emotion in her at the moment—pleasure, desire, want, need—and it was fascinating to watch because she never shows anything. It gave me the biggest hard on I’ve ever had. The next step would have been to f*ck her, take back the control, get what I want out of it, yet I couldn’t. She’s drunk. I’m drunk. It’s not right and I don’t want to do that to her—that’s not how I want things to be between us.

Shaking my head, I get up and go to the door, leaving the room and her sleeping on the bed because I’m not sure I can contain myself. I feel bad for leaving, but at the same time I’m too restless to stay.

The card game is still going on, but a lot of the people have cleared out of the apartment. “Have fun?” Seth asks with speculation in his eyes as he looks up at me from his cards. Greyson has his arm around him, examining his cards. When he peers up at me, there’s a concerned look in his eyes that makes me wonder if he knows something about Violet, like maybe what happened to her parents.

“As much as I ever do.” I round the table, noting Jonah and Kenzie have bailed, and head for the fridge. I grab a bottle of tequila and swig it down, over and over again, letting the burn sink in, hoping to regain the person I used to be—the one I built so I could avoid being owned and controlled by someone, like my mom used to do all the time to me. But can’t I find him anymore. I’m turning into someone else who I don’t think I like unless I’m kissing Violet, and then it seems okay to be this way, letting go, giving her what she wants, not being the one in control, the kind of guy who does stuff for other people, who lets people into his f*cked-up life.