The Crow King's Wife(54)

“Avanti had me trained after that and every time he needed a lesson taught, he sent me. I had learned about calling cards by then, and I adopted the crow feather as my own. I gathered one for every person I killed and left one on those that I assassinated. I leveled cities, villages, noble houses, whatever he sent me to eliminate I did. I killed right down to the household pets and the horses in the stables. By the time the second year had passed in his service I had my cloak finished and had earned the title of the most despised man in Immortal society, despite the fact that I wasn’t even fifteen yet. I justified it by every wrong that had ever been done to me and how no one had ever lifted a finger in my defense. In my eyes every person alive was corrupt, and their lives held no value to me because of that. Every man I killed was my former master and every woman was my mother. The children I was doing a favor. I killed them before they could suffer in life as I had.” Seth leaned back in his seat and folded his hands on the table. He shook his head slowly at Finn and let out a long sigh. “If you would have asked me if I loved Dashara when I first arrived here I would have sworn to ever god that I did, but after so much inner thought I realize I didn’t. In retrospect she was a possession. She was important to me because she was mine, but in honesty she was just another path of revenge, another way to hurt those that had caused me pain. I protected her and the children because they were mine, but my hatred for Hemlock revolves around the fact that I lost to him. I want to kill him, because he killed me not because he killed her. So in essence the only thing I have ever truly loved in my life is myself and the suffering of others.” Seth finished and stared down at the table with a frown.

“And now?” Finn prompted. He still wasn’t sure where Seth was going with his conversation, but the outlook wasn’t good, and he wasn’t about to let Seth leave it at that. He needed to know how far he could trust the man, and if Seth ever planned to serve again.

“And now you tell me that Fate has something grand in store for me and that I should be redeemed, but I have to object. I believe it’s something inside that makes a hero, Finn, and I don’t think I have it. Every choice I have ever made in life has been the darkest one. I am not the protector, I am the reason protection is needed. I have always been the villain, and I don’t think I have what it requires to be anything else. When I am pushed into a corner and forced into making a choice, my answer is written in blood.” Seth answered quietly and met Finn’s eyes once more. There was nothing but resignation on his face, and for the first time since Finn had met the man he looked defeated.

“So this is your surrender? This is you telling me you aren’t going to try for redemption anymore?” Finn pressed.

Seth swallowed heavily and nodded slowly. “This is me saying that I give. I have served here for so long that I know I will never be free. With the small taste of freedom you gave me I have lied, cheated, and killed. You gave me the opportunity to be more and I was too blind to see it. I wasted my chance and I don’t care to try again. I don’t even want to face the world anymore, and I think the world should find relief in that fact. The only thing I have ever given anyone is misery. I’d rather you grant me an existence like the rest of the demons. Give me some mindless patrol in the Darklands. I don’t want the position I have spent so long fighting for anymore. Give it to someone you can rely on.”

“Can I point something out before we continue down this path?” Finn asked with a raised eyebrow. Seth nodded without a trace of enthusiasm on his face. It was obvious the man had already had enough of his opinion, but Finn chose to ignore that fact. His next words were a gamble. They would either bring back Seth’s fire or destroy him. There wasn’t much room for middle ground with his current frame of mind. “I already knew the basics of everything you told me from the room Death made for you, and frankly the fact that you have been chosen as an apparent hero scares the hell out of me. Consider everything you have told me Seth and try to imagine what must be coming if you are the best one to face it? You are the oldest Immortal inside the barrier that I personally know, and rabid bears have more mercy than you. I can’t think of a single person that is more dangerous than you, not even Hemlock.”

Seth snorted with amusement at the bear analogy but remained silent otherwise. If he had found any concern over Finn’s words he didn’t show it. After a long silence he met Finn’s eyes and slouched further in his chair to stretch his long legs out beneath the table. “The problem with this line of thought is Heroes have to care, Finn, and I don’t.” Seth muttered, but there was a trace of bitterness in his voice that said he did care. He just didn’t trust his own actions enough to do anything.