The Cloisters(95)
Luck, probably from the Middle High German word glück, meaning fortune or happy accident. Fortune—merely another word for fate. Rachel, I knew, was not one to believe in luck. And I could see her, as I read the article, removing the life vests and leaving them behind on the dock. I could see her boarding the boat near the end of dinner to remove the plug in the cockpit. The accident had Rachel’s fingerprints all over it. By her calculus, I knew, there was still a good chance her parents would survive. But with a bit of luck, she would. And they wouldn’t.
She was right, then, when she said we were the same. But I would have given anything to rewrite the fate I had authored for my father. Rachel, of course, felt no such remorse.
The cards I spread out that night in Long Lake told me how Rachel’s story would end, but ultimately, I left the choice up to her. In the liquid dawn of the next morning, I had walked to the end of the dock where the Lasers were suspended above the water, masts down, sails furled, and boarded each boat, taking care not to rock it loose. From the cockpits, I pulled out the life vests and the plug, a little white disk of plastic I slipped into my pocket. I carried it all the way to Laure’s apartment, and then, as we walked home from dinner, the warm wind coming off the East River, I pulled it out of my pocket and let it fall to the asphalt.
We are, you see, both masters of our fate and at the mercy of the Moirai—the three Fates who weave our futures and cut them short. And while I still believe we can control the little things in life, those small decisions that add up to the everyday, I think, perhaps, the overall shape of our life is not ours to decide. That shape belongs to fate. The Cloisters came for me and delivered me my fate that summer. But now, like Rachel, I’d rather not know how the story ends.
ANN STILWELL’S GUIDE TO READING TAROT
MAJOR ARCANA
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TRAD CARD
FERRARA DECK CARD TITLE (AND ASSO-CIATED ROMAN GOD)
ZODIAC SIGN
PLANE-TARY RULER
FERRARA DECK ILLUSTRATION
UPRIGHT MEANING / INTER-PRETATION
REVERSED MEANING / INTER-PRETATION
0
FOOL
NUSCE (PROME-THEUS)
AQUARIUS
URANUS
A man dressed in simple, tattered garb. Instead of holding a torch with his belongings, this figure holds a lit staff, à la Prometheus. The constellation Aquarius hangs in an orange sky behind the fool.
Beginnings and new paths. This can mean a fresh start, a new project, or a leap of faith. The card is a harbinger of change and can indicate forward-looking, creation, even magnetism.
Recklessness or incomplete projects. The inability to commit to work, family, relationships. Mercuriality. Rebelliousness or wild behavior. Stubborn independence.
1
MAGICIAN
GUSMA (MINERVA)
GEMINI
MERCURY
A woman dressed in a white robe sits upon a golden throne holding a spear. She wears a crown on her head and is flanked by twin owls. In the bright blue sky behind her, the constellation Gemini is visible.
Insight and knowledge. Ritual. Objectivity and a desire for clear communication. The ability to be a translator, between worlds or people. Wit, speed, and skill. The card is a symbol of resourcefulness and relentless pursuit.
Unrealized ambitions or elusive success. Being unprepared or standing at the edge of a beginning. An instability or restlessness that can sometimes be seen as superficiality.
2
HIGH PRIESTESS
TRIXCACCIA (DIANA)
CANCER
MOON
The goddess Diana, as huntress, wearing a moon diadem, standing by a pool where a deer takes a drink of water. In the sky behind her is the constellation Cancer.
Intuition and a deep level of awareness. Empathetic and nurturing, the card can also signal psychic insight. Can signal the skill of foresight. Also a card that can mean tenacity or parental attachment.
Distraction or lack of focus. This can manifest as an exacting or touchy nature, one that blocks your ability to see or connect with your own intuition. Self-doubt and anxiety. Can indicate indulgence in self-pitying behavior.
3
EMPRESS
TRIXIMPERA (VESTA)
VIRGO
VENUS
Vesta, in a white robe, hair tied low at the nape of her neck, tending to an open hearth. Beyond the hearth is a donkey (traditional symbol of Vesta), and the constellation Virgo hangs in a daytime sky.
Tapping into femininity and fertility. An impulse toward mothering (but not always progeny). The desire to be of service. Practical, modest, and sometimes discriminating. This card signals tolerance and optimism, the ability to cultivate.
Blocked, either creatively, personally, or physically. A tendency toward being puritanical or vengeful. A healthy (or unhealthy) dose of skepticism. Criticism of yourself and others, particularly as related to realms that have been traditionally coded as feminine: the body, the home, emotions.
4
EMPEROR
SARIMPERA (APOLLO)
ARIES
MARS
Apollo, holding a bow and arrow, shooting at the sky, aiming directly for the sun. He wears a laurel wreath on his head and is flanked by a snake working its way toward the grass. The constellation Aries hangs in the early-evening sky.
Leadership and individuality. A paternal figure, this card can signal independence and straightforwardness. At its best, this card can signal a soon-to-arrive source of inspiration, or a recently discovered passion.