The Certainty of Violet & Luke(71)

It’s still a lot to take in and I know there’s something that can briefly take it all away, but that’s the thing. It’ll only be temporary and if I survive whatever crazy, erratic thing I do, everything will still be the same afterward and I’ll still have to face it.

‘I know it is,’ I whisper through my tears and it feels like the truth. For once, it feels like everything’s going to be okay. Yes, not everything turned out perfect. In fact, if I really analyze it, I can see all the ugliness and darkness that has come out of this. I could sink back into that dark hole and let it eat me up, like I did for years. But I’ve only just climbed out of that f*cking hole and I don’t want to go back. I want to be strong. I want to let myself be happy.

And let myself be in love.

Two things I never, ever thought were going to be possible, but then I had a taste of them and it was wonderful – I’m not ready to let the wonderful go. I know nothing will ever be perfect; things won’t always turn out the way that I want. That’s not how life works and perfect doesn’t exist. But for the most part, everything will be okay if I just let it be. And I’m going to try my damn hardest; I’m going to go on living life, trying to get better instead of worse. And I have Luke by my side.

And really, that’s all I need.





Chapter 26


One month later….





Violet


‘Are you sure this is a good idea?’ I ask, as I stare at the roundabout. It’s barely December but winter has rolled in and has turned the entire park into a winter wonderland. Ice glazes everything and all of the swings glisten with frost.

Luke nods as he brushes some of the snow off the roundabout. ‘Lana told you to do something childishly fun so here you go.’

I pull my coat tighter around myself, wishing I’d had time to shower before we came here. But Luke picked me up straight from the gym after my kickboxing thing with Callie and Seth, something I do at least twice a week. ‘But it’s freezing.’

He cocks an eyebrow at me as he brushes the snow off my gloves. ‘Since when does snow make you back down from a challenge?’

Snow is falling from the sky even though the sun is peeking through the clouds. ‘How did this become a challenge?’

‘Because I’m making it a challenge,’ he tells me cockily as he zips up the leather jacket he’s wearing and waits for me to get on the frozen deathtrap.

Earlier this week, Lana had suggested that I do something fun, something that I missed out on when I was younger. Luke came up with this idea when I couldn’t figure out one on my own. Said he played at the park sometimes when he was hiding from his mother.

‘Oh fine.’ I walk over to the thing that looks like a flying saucer with bars on the top of it and hop on. The chilled metal sinks through my clothes and freezes my skin as I sit down in the center and hold onto the bars. ‘Now what?’

He gets this goofy grin on his face and I know I’m in trouble. ‘Now you hang on.’ Before I can say anything else, he takes off running, holding onto the bars so it causes the roundabout to spin. The faster her runs the faster the thing spins until everything around me is a blur of shapes and colors. Then he jumps on himself and joins me in the center.

I’m laughing my ass off as my eyes fight to focus on something around me, but I just get dizzy, so instead I focus on Luke’s face.

‘See, fun, right?’ he asks, gripping onto the bar.

I nod, smiling as I stare up at the sky. ‘It feels like I’m in the center of the world and everything around me is moving.’

He chuckles. ‘There’s that philosophy class showing again.’

‘It’s a fun class,’ I admit, daring to let go of the bars and spin freely, feeling as though I’m flying. Luke’s hands clamp down on my legs as if he’s afraid the force is going to send me flying, which only makes my grin expand. ‘I picked a major today.’

‘Really?’

I nod.

He waits for me to explain but then grows impatient. ‘Are you going to tell me what it is?’

My smile takes up my entire face. ‘Physics.’

His grip tightens on my legs as the roundabout continues to spin. ‘Are you being serious?’

I look away from the sky and to him, nodding. ‘Someone told me I’d be good at it once.’

His lips quirk. ‘Sounds like a smart person if you ask me.’