The Betrothed (The Betrothed #1)(45)

In the little light the stars were granting us, I could see his eyes were glassy. “And anything that could hurt you would pain me. It seems we lose either way.”

I nodded, tears spilling over. “I believe life will give us happiness that we can’t see just yet.” I gestured to the sky. “There are stars now, little glimmers of light. But soon, the sun will come. We need only wait.”

“But you are my sun, Hollis.”

It was different from what Jameson had said about me a dozen times before. He’d said I was the sun, bright but distant, shining on everything in reach. Being Silas’s sun alone made me feel like I had a reason to rise in the first place.

“I promise to keep my distance. I won’t seek you out or speak to you anymore. And I’m sure you won’t need any more jewelry made for emergency royal visits.”

I nodded.

“Good. That will help.” He swallowed. “Before I never speak to you again . . . could I kiss you one more time?”

I didn’t even question the desire. I flew at him.

It was so easy, like falling into the rhythm of a dance or taking a deep breath. Kissing Silas was like something that had always been waiting for me, something I knew to do without thinking. His hands went up into my hair, holding me tight, and his lips moved feverishly, knowing we’d never be alone like this again. I gripped his shirt, pulling him in close, wanting to remember how he always smelled faintly of dying embers.

Too soon, he pulled away, looking into my eyes. “And now I must get back to my family.”

I nodded. “Goodbye, Silas Eastoffe.”

“Goodbye, Hollis Brite.”

He stepped back, falling into a deep bow, and using every last bit of willpower I had in my body, I turned and walked away.





Twenty-One




“HOLLIS,” DELIA GRACE WHISPERED, PULLING me from sleep.

“Mmm?”

“There’s a message for you.” I glanced up to find Delia Grace standing over me, concern flashing across her face. “Goodness, your eyes are red. Have you been crying?”

In an instant, visions of the night before flooded through me.

It had taken hours for exhaustion to silence my head and even longer for it to steady my heart. I had no idea how much sleep I’d gotten, except to say it wasn’t much.

“No,” I said firmly, trying to smile. “I think something must have irritated them last night.”

Delia Grace set herself on the edge of my bed, lifting my chin so she could see them better. I didn’t like her looking so deeply into my eyes; I kept getting the feeling she knew my thoughts better than I did.

“I’m going to soak a towel in cool water, and you’re going to gently press it against your eyes. We can’t have you meeting with the king and queen like this.”

“What?” I asked.

“Sorry,” she said, shaking her head, standing to fetch a towel. “That was the message for you: King Jameson demands your presence for a meeting with King Quinten and Queen Valentina this morning.”

“Demands?” I asked, swallowing. Immediately, I thought that someone knew something, but I’d been very careful with Silas, and it was all over now. No, it must be something else.

“I think the black dress today, Delia Grace. The one with the red in the sleeves?”

She nodded. “Very nice. That’s a much more serious look. And I think we have a headdress that will do nicely. You lie down with this,” she said, bringing over the wet cloth. “I will have everything ready in no time.”

I shook my head. “What would I do without you?”

“We’ve already been over this, Hollis. You’d drown.”

I pressed the cloth onto my eyes and managed to get the swelling mostly gone. Once I put myself together, no one would even notice. I had to do little more than stand still while my hair was brushed and my dress was tied on. When it was time to head out, Nora and Delia Grace lined up behind me, my own little army. I had to admit I felt better with them by my side.

People milled about the hallways and the Great Room, and I walked up to the guards by the king’s door without hesitation. “I have been summoned by His Majesty.”

“Yes, my lady,” the guard replied. “He’s expecting you.”

He held the door for me but stopped Delia Grace and Nora before they could follow.

“This is private, ladies,” he said, and I watched helplessly as we were separated by the large wooden door.

I steadied myself with a deep breath as I walked in to find Jameson and King Quinten sitting at a table with papers laid out before them. A few others stood against the wall, holy men and members of the privy council, all poring over books of the law or other notes. The most surprising addition to the party was my parents, who hadn’t spoken to me since my lessons the other day.

I briefly took in their smug expressions before Jameson leaped to his feet to greet me.

“My own heart!” he sang, holding out his arms. “Are you well today?”

“I am.” I hoped he couldn’t feel my trembling hands. “I feel I’ve scarcely gotten to see you these past few days, so merely being in your presence brings me joy.”

It used to be so easy to flatter Jameson, to say the words I knew would cheer him. Now it felt like chewing gravel to get those lines out.