The Bet: A Bully Romance(41)

Fuck, it’s ten, English class is in an hour.

Nothing could get me out of this bed for one of my classes right now, but this is the one and only class I share with Jules and I know her well enough to know that she will be freaking out if we miss a class.

“Jules,” I whisper while giving her a gentle shake.

“Mmhhh.” She cuddles deeper into my side, and I seriously consider calling Seb and asking him to somehow have English class canceled. Staying here in bed with her would be worth it but knowing how upset she would be to miss class has me deciding against it.

“Jules, it’s ten in the morning,” I whisper and that seems to get her attention because her eyes fly open and she sits up, rubbing them furiously with her hands.

“What?! Ten? It’s ten?” She blinks a couple of times, giving me a disbelieving look. “We have class in an hour!”

There’s a permanent grin on my face. She hops off the bed and starts running around the room like a chicken with her head cut off while I remain sitting on the bed, enjoying the view.

“Get up, you need to drop me off at my place. I still have to get my bag, and clothes, and brush my teeth.” She’s almost yelling at me, all while tugging on the corner of the blanket. A feeble attempt to get me out of bed, but one that works.

“Okay, okay, I’m up,” I mumble, shoving from the bed. I pull on a pair of jeans a t-shirt and grab my phone and keys. When we get in the car and I pull out onto the road, I notice Jules nervously playing with the hem of her shirt and I can’t be one hundred percent sure but I don’t think that it’s her worrying about being late for class.

“You okay?” I ask but she averts her gaze out the window and I wish she would let me see her face so I could figure out what’s going on inside her head.

“I don’t know,” she finally whispers and an ache forms deep in my belly, the feeling similar to being punched in the stomach. She seemed so happy last night, so sure. I should have known that she’d come to her senses in the morning.

We were just pretending…

“Are we okay? I mean, I know what you said last night, but did you really mean it?”

My knuckles turn white against the steering wheel. “Yes, of course, I meant everything I said last night. I’m a man of my word, Jules.”

“You said we can’t be friends. But…I don't know if I can be more right now. I want to…but I want to be with the guy you were last night, the Remmy I know…but there is this other side of you, and now that I’ve seen it. While I don’t think I can forget that part of you exists. I don’t know if I can trust you to not turn into that person again?”

She doesn’t trust me and of course she is right not to, God knows I’ve broken her trust in ways I’m not ready to tell her.

“So where does that leave us?” she asks before I can muster up a response to her previous question. Sucking in a deep breath, I let her sweet vanilla scent waft into my nose while I think of what to say to her.

Where does that leave us?

I feel like my brain has just been run through a blender. What can I say or do to make her understand how serious I am about fixing this?

I wish I could guarantee that the person she’s seen the last few weeks won't reappear ever again, but how could I possibly promise that? It’s not like I can flip a switch and turn that part of me off. I’ve lived this way for three years and as much as I want everything to just go back to the way it was…the way we were, I know it’s an unrealistic thought.

Still, I’m not going to give up on her, on us. We’ve both changed, but that doesn’t mean the feelings between us have, last night being evidence of that.

By the time I park in front of her place, I still haven't come up with anything to say.

“I’ll see you at class, okay?” There’s a dismal look in her eyes as she opens the passenger side door and gets out. I want to give her all the answers she seeks, but I just… I can’t.

I don’t know what to do yet.

“Jules…wait, can we talk after class?”

She pokes her head back into the car for a moment. “Sure,” she tells me with a little smile on her lips, before closing the car door and jogging up to her front door. I watch her ass sway in her tight jeans as she walks away from me.

Friends?

I don’t know if I can be just her friend and hold on to my sanity.

I want her…all of her.

Making a pit stop at the frat house to get my own books for class, I climb up the stairs, grab my shit and walk out, I’m nearing the door when Thomas stops me in the kitchen.

“Hey Rem, have you seen Cole?” Just hearing his name makes me murderous.

“No, man, no clue what’s going on with him.” I try to keep my voice even. Hiding the anger within me. I’ve got a pretty good idea where he is and I definitely know why he hasn’t shown his face around here, but I don't want to share that information for a plethora of reasons.

“I’ve got to get to class, catch up with you later?”

Thomas gives me a nod, and I rush out before he can ask me any other questions that I don’t want to answer. I start my walk across campus and to English class. When I pass the coffee shop on the corner, I check my phone for the time and decide it’d be worth arriving late to class for. I order my usual and before I even realize what I’m doing, I’m ordering something for Jules too. When I walk into the classroom, most of the other students are already in their seats, even though class hasn’t started yet.