The Bet: A Bully Romance(35)

As I sit there uncomfortable as fuck, enjoying her presence, I start to notice how heavy her eyes seem to be. I should be watching the movie, but like a creeper, I’m watching her. It doesn’t take long for her to nod off, her body slumping over, her head gently pressing against my shoulder.

Her lips are parted, soft breaths escape through them and it takes everything in me not to kiss her. When it comes to Jules, I’m not in control. She owns me, she fucking owns me. The movie finishes and Seb gets up from the couch and goes into the kitchen.

“Take her to your room. I’ll bet she hasn’t had a good night’s sleep in weeks.” He pauses briefly, his tone deepening. “Then come back out here. I want to have a talk with you.”

Looking to Jules, she’s completely out, and I bet he’s right. Between the shit storm I brought down on her and the loss of her brother and father, I’m sure she hasn’t been sleeping well. I give him a nod and gently pick her up, tucking her close to my chest.

She whimpers, burrowing deeper if that’s even possible. When I reach my bedroom, I exhale. It’s been three years since we were both inside this room together. Three long years since we laid in that bed together.

With shaking hands, I place her down on the bed, allowing myself to stare at her for a second longer than necessary. God, I’ve missed this, simply admiring her beauty. Her soft blonde curls circle her head like a halo, her hands are tucked beneath her rosy red cheek, and her face is at peace. She’s beautiful, so beautiful and I never thought something like this would ever occur again, having her in my room, in my bed.

She belongs here. She’s yours.

My heart says with every gush of blood. She sighs in her sleep, and I have the urge to touch her all over, to kiss every inch of her, to worship, and protect her. I want to make her mine. Before I do either of those things, I walk out of the bedroom, closing the door quietly behind me. We aren't like that anymore. She’s not mine, she doesn't want me.

Each step I take away from the bedroom hurts, like I’m physically stabbing myself in the heart. Running a hand through my hair in frustration, I try to figure out what the fuck I’m doing.

“Grab a couple beers, son. We need to have a talk.”

My brow furrows in confusion, but I do as he says. Giving him one and cracking one open for myself. I don’t even get to take a sip before he’s talking.

“You hurt her?” he asks. I’ve never lied to my father, but I want to right now. I want to so fucking badly because I know what’s going to happen when I admit to him what I did.

“Yes,” I answer shamefully. His hand tightens on his beer bottle giving away his anger.

“You hit her?”

His question catches me off guard.

“Fuck no. I wouldn’t hit her. Not ever.” I can almost see the relief flood his features. I might be lost, broken, angry, but I couldn’t ever intentionally hurt her, not with a slap, or punch and I would kill any bastard that did try and touch her like that.

“Good. I didn’t know in which way you hurt her, and I know I raised you right not to lay a hand on a woman, even if she hits you first, but lately, I’ve been worried if my good-natured son is still inside you.”

His words sadden me further. I’ve let him down. Disappointed him.

“I’m still here, Dad. Just lost, really fucking lost.”

“I know, but you’ve been found. She’s back, Rem. She’s back and I can tell she still cares about you.”

I swallow, the saliva thick in my throat.

“I don’t know, Dad. She might still care, but I’ve hurt her pretty badly, did some really fucked up shit.” I don’t elaborate and I definitely won’t mention the audio I shared with my buddies. My dad would murder me if he knew I did something like that.

That's my burden to bear, my own pain.

“But you won’t do that shit anymore...right? You won’t try and get even with her for breaking your heart? Which, by the way, wasn’t her fault.”

The muscle in my jaw ticks. Of course he would say that. He’s been taking her side since the day she left, and I know she wasn’t really to blame for my pain, she was someone I could put the blame on. My mother left, and then she did too.

It was hard…too hard to fucking face alone.

“No. I won’t hurt her anymore, I swear,” I admit.

I decided before I even came here today that I wasn’t going to fuck with her anymore, but now that I promised my dad, it’s like it’s been set in stone.

She’ll always own a piece of my heart, that will never change, no matter how much I try and take it back. And I know now that hurting her only hurt me more. Now I can only hope that it’s not too late for her to forgive me.

“Good, ‘cause I’m not too old to kick your ass, don’t you forget that,” he snickers.

“Funny, old man,” I joke, and finish the beer in my hand before heading back up to my room. I have this overwhelming urge to be close to her. It’s like I need her in my arms to feel whole again. Staring at my bedroom door, I wonder if I can do this again. If I can subject myself to possibly losing her all over again.

I guess that’s just a risk I’m going to have to take.

Sighing, I open the door to my room quietly, hoping not to wake her, but when I step over the threshold, I find her sitting up on my bed. Alarm bells go off inside my head.