The Anti-Boyfriend(78)
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Carys wore a pink dress with thin straps and a flared skirt. The skin on her neck was slightly blotchy. I knew that happened when she was nervous.
“You look beautiful in pink. Well, you look beautiful in everything. So fucking beautiful.”
She moved her hair behind her ear. “Thank you.”
Perhaps my gaze lingered a little too long, because she excused herself to go talk to one of the other parents.
I spent the remainder of the afternoon watching Sunny having a blast and stealing glances at Carys. I wondered how this day would have been different if I hadn’t left. Carys might have been leaning against my chest as I wrapped my arms around her and watched Sunny play. Sunny might have been closer to me than she was to Charles. I reminded myself that I couldn’t be here for them the way I was now if I hadn’t freaked out, hadn’t gone home, hadn’t made peace with my demons. I knew now that I would never hurt them again.
When Sunny opened her presents, I waited anxiously for her to get to mine.
Eventually, Carys handed her the large bag I’d brought and opened the card. “It’s from Deacon, Sunny. What is it? Let’s see!” she said.
Sunny seemed more mesmerized by the pink tissue paper than anything else.
Carys helped Sunny remove a furry, gray elephant from the bag. I’d figured if she liked elephants, I couldn’t go wrong with a big, stuffed one.
“If you push on the chest, it plays a song,” I said.
Carys pressed her hand to the center of the elephant, and her mouth dropped open when the song began: “How Deep is Your Love” by the Bee Gees. I had no clue if Sunny would even recognize it.
It was a pleasant surprise when Sunny hugged the elephant to her and flashed a huge smile—the biggest one I’d contributed to since I’d been back. Her eyes turned to slits as the beautiful grin spread even wider across her face. Carys had admitted that she’d stopped playing the Bee Gees album for Sunny after I left, so I knew she hadn’t heard that song in a long time. Whether she remembered it from before or not, she was sure as hell connecting to it now. Maybe one day she’d connect to me again, too.
Charles and his kids presented their gift next: a gigantic stack of children’s books. Charles began reading off the titles, one of which was Monkey Bandit and the Naughty Ball.
Carys, standing next to me, leaned in and whispered, “Monkey balls.”
Holy shit. I started to crack up, elated that she remembered the day Mrs. Winsbanger had called me that. I’d never forget that day, our first coffee together. It all started with monkey balls, and at this moment, monkey balls gave me hope that all was not lost.
CHAPTER 30
Carys
NAUGHTY GIRL
The months since Deacon’s return had reminded me a lot of the early days of our relationship. He was there when I needed him but didn’t cross any boundaries. I knew he was being careful not to make assumptions about my readiness to let him back into my life.
It all felt a little like déjà vu because Deacon had reverted back to being a good friend I desperately wanted to have sex with. But I hadn’t let myself go there yet. I kept waiting to feel a hundred-percent sure he would never hurt me again. But is it ever possible to be absolutely certain?
One Saturday afternoon, Sharon called to tell me she had the day free if I wanted her to come spend a few hours with Sunny. She said she figured I might appreciate some time to myself. Never one to refuse unexpected help, I thanked her and said I would love to take her up on that.
She arrived about an hour later. As I kissed Sunny goodbye and headed out the door, I realized I had absolutely nowhere to be. I didn’t want to go anywhere. I wanted to see Deacon. I wanted to be alone with Deacon, something that—very strategically on my part—hadn’t happened since he’d come back.
But how would I make that happen without sending the wrong message? Did I care about the consequences anymore? My body was more than ready, but my mind wasn’t there yet.
I stood in front of his door, frozen, for probably five minutes.
“Naughty girl…going to get the boom-boom from Fuckboy.”
I turned around to see Mrs. Winsbanger’s door suddenly close.
Shit.
If she was onto me, surely Deacon would see right through this little spur-of-the-moment visit, too?
Nevertheless, I sighed and decided to knock.
Deacon opened the door with a white towel wrapped around his waist. Water dripped down his bare chest. Holy shit. I’d nearly forgotten how hot this man’s body was.
“What’s up, beautiful? This is a nice surprise.”
My eyes traveled down his torso. “I’m sorry to interrupt.”
“You’re not interrupting. I just took a quick shower after the gym. I’m glad you’re here.”
Barely able to get the words out, I said, “I, uh, got an unexpected call from Sharon. She had some time today and offered to babysit. So I was wondering if you wanted to hang out.”
I couldn’t break my eyes away from his amazing chest, hard and glistening. He was even more ripped than I remembered. Deacon had mentioned working out more lately, perhaps to get out some of the sexual frustration.
“I would absolutely love to spend time with you.” He stepped out of the way. “Come in. Please.”