Sweet Reckoning(75)

“I can’t hide forever. And what would that mean for you? Your father will expect you to be working. Marissa will be calling you.”

He gave a light shudder. “I’ll go into hiding with you.”

“That’s no way to live.”

“Are you truly not afraid?” He searched my eyes. “At all?”

“Of course I am,” I admitted. “Mostly because I don’t know how it’ll go down. I don’t know how to face the Dukes. But the chain of events has started, and we can’t stop it.”

“We can try.” In the moonlight his eyes shone with the passion of his words.

I shook my head, feeling torn. I was scared, and I didn’t know if I was ready for this monumental, mysterious task, but I needed Kaidan’s support in order to come to a sense of peace about it.

His voice was hard. Adamant. “I finally have you, Anna.”

“And every second we’ve had together is a blessing I never thought we’d get.”

I ran my hands across his strong shoulders and dug my fingers in a little. Nothing I said was helping. I didn’t have the words to take away his anxieties. Or mine. So instead I kissed him.

My hands grasped the back of his neck, moving up through his hair as his mouth worked mine with a dizzying desperation.

He groaned a masculine sound against my mouth and said, “God, Anna.” But there was so much more than lust in those words. The despairing grip of his hands on me said it all.

I could only whimper in response, causing his arms to tighten around me.

“What will I do?” He sounded in pain. “I can’t lose you.”

“Stop thinking that way. I can’t fight them if you’re not on board, Kai.”

He looked at me, his forehead creased. I knew he was feeling selfish, wanting to keep me and keep our bubble of joy as long as we could, knowing it couldn’t last. I knew he wanted to support me, and that he would when it came down to it. But right now he couldn’t own it.

I tugged his face to mine and spoke against his lips. “You haven’t lost me, Kai. I’m right here with you. Hold me.”

He buried his face in my neck and did just as I asked, pulling me close and not letting go.


That night we cuddled in the backseat under a blanket—Kai leaning against the door and my back against his chest. His arms moved around my waist and I linked our fingers. The other cars eventually left. We stared out at the stars for a long time, both lost in thought.

I whispered, “The first time I came to Lookout Point—”

His fingers tightened around mine, almost painfully.

“Not with a guy!” I clarified, wanting to laugh as his grip loosened. “It was the day I got the postcard from you after the summit.” Again I felt his whole body tense, maybe with guilt about how things had played out back then. I kept going. “I knew I had to let you go, and I knew there was something bigger coming.” I turned, angling myself enough to look into his haunted eyes. “I never thought we’d get this time together. We’re so lucky.”

I unclasped one of our hands so I could reach up and stroke his face. He closed his eyes, the troubled tension never leaving his features.

“Kaidan, if anything happens to me—”

His eyes flew open and he yanked me closer. “Don’t. Don’t you dare finish that sentence. Nothing is going to happen to you.”

I swallowed hard. We both knew that might not be the case.

His eyes seemed to burn in the reflected moonlight, impassioned.

“If we both, you know, end up down there . . .” I cleared my throat. “In hell. We can make it through together. We’ll keep each other strong until it’s time for our judgment.”

He said nothing, and from the corner of my eye I saw his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed.

“I’ll never leave your side,” he whispered. “I swear it.”

I sighed, and snuggled down against his chest. In his arms I felt secure and stronger as the threads of our love twined together like a sturdy rope for us to hold tight to.

May we never let go.


A shift of the light woke me hours later and I opened my eyes to the rays of a pink-tinged sunrise. We were scrunched in the seat, half sitting, half lying. My heart softened at the sight of Kaidan’s sweet sleeping face with long waves of hair lying against his skin. He appeared gentle and innocent. At peace.

We must have both been exhausted last night. I couldn’t recall falling asleep, but now a spike of fear pierced me at the thought of being seen together like this. I hated to wake Kai, but when I tried to sit up he sucked in a ragged breath and jolted upward, pulling me to his chest and searching around us.