Stay with Me (Wait for You, #3)(90)

I was reluctant to let him go when he pulled back. “Everything is going to be okay,” I told him, because I felt like I needed to say that out loud.

He gave me a toothy smile as his gaze moved to Jax. “Yes, baby girl, it will be.”

As Clyde left, I packed up more clothes and personal stuff and then we headed out to Jax’s truck. It was hard walking across that porch without picturing the body there.

Once in the cab of the truck, Jax looked at me. “You doing okay?”

I thought about that for a moment. “As okay as I can be.”

A slight smile appeared as he reached over, smoothing his thumb along my lower lip. “This shit with Rooster and Mack—with your mom isn’t right. It’s serious. It’s not normal. And it’s okay not to be okay with any of this.”

“I know,” I whispered.

His smile spread on one side of his lips. “Like I said. You’re brave.”

My chest warmed, and instead of denying that, I smiled a little. “Can we stop on the way to your house and grab something to eat?”

“Anything for you, babe.”

I liked the sound of that. A lot.

It was too late to do dinner anywhere, so fast food was on the menu. At this point, I’d probably have eaten horse meat, so I wasn’t complaining when he pulled into the burger joint. Not the best steaks in the state, but it would work.

Neither of us really talked on the drive to his townhouse or as we scarfed down our food. It wasn’t until we were cleaning up and I was tossing my soda in the trash that I knew we had to talk about this.

Or that I had to talk about this.

“Do you think Mom is okay?” I asked.

Jax was at the table situated by the door that led out to a small deck and postage-stamp-size backyard. He turned to me, chin dipped. “I don’t know.”

I closed my eyes as a rush of emotion swelled.

“I hate saying that, but I got to be honest with you.”

“I appreciate that.”

“I know you do,” he said, and then I felt him closer and I opened my eyes. He was right in front of me. “If Rooster bounced, then he was probably feeling the heat. That means your mom’s got to still be out there.”

Because she wasn’t lying on the porch alongside Rooster.

“But this isn’t good,” he finished.

Just like Clyde said. “There’s no way she can fix this. Even if they bust Mack for what happened to Rooster, there’s this Isaiah. That was a lot of dope and a lot of money. She can’t get past this.”

“No. She can’t.”

A ball lodged in the back of my throat. “She really did it this time. I mean, she really did it, Jax. There’s no fixing this. There’s no making it okay. And she dragged me into this, which has dragged you into this. And I’m so sorry about that. You don’t need this. You shouldn’t have seen Rooster today.”

“Honey,” he said softly, cupping my cheeks. He tilted my head back. “None of this is your fault. Know that. There is no need for you to apologize for any of this. You didn’t ask for it or bring it on yourself.”

What he said was true, but I couldn’t help but feel somewhat responsible, because it was my mom after all. Placing my hands on his sides, I did something I hadn’t really done before. I leaned into him, resting my cheek against his chest.

“What are we going to do?” And that question was important and it was hard to ask, because I was asking about “us,” as in I wasn’t expecting to do this on my own. That was a huge step, a scary one.

Jax folded his arms around me. “We still have Ike to talk to. If we can find your mom . . .”

“And what?” I asked. “We can’t turn her over. We saw what they did to Rooster.”

“I wasn’t suggesting turning her over, honey. We get to her first, make sure she understands the kind of shit she’s messed up in, and then . . . well, we go from there.”

Going from there meant we made sure she understood that the likelihood of her stepping back in Pennsylvania and not getting shot would be slim to none. “But what about Mack?”

“He’s not going to get near you.” Jax drew back, his eyes meeting mine. “You can trust in that. Neither will Isaiah.”

I wanted to believe that. I almost believed that, because he said it in such a way that it came across as if he could control such things.

He dipped his forehead to mine. “Sucks about dinner.”

My lips twitched and I said hoarsely, “Yeah, I was really looking forward to that steak.”

“There’s always tomorrow. Hell, there’s always next Sunday.”

I closed my eyes, liking the sound of planning that far out. It was only a week, but a week was a lot of time. The next thing just sort of burst out there. “That’s the second time I’ve seen a dead body.”

“Babe . . .”

“Not my brothers. Their coffins were closed, and I didn’t . . . I didn’t see them bringing them out of the house. But I’ve seen a dead body before.” I paused, drawing in a shaky breath. “A bunch of people were partying with Mom. This guy, I guess he overdosed or something, and everyone else was too messed up to realize it. I’d come into the living room and he was lying facedown, not moving or breathing.”