Stay(74)

“Getting there.” I hold the warm beverage to my nose. “I’ve never had such a time adjusting. My room is lovely.”

It could be a new little person is growing inside me.

“Time zones are weird.” She holds her own mug, looking out at the mountains in the distance. “The boys want to catch the ferry after while. You up for that?”

Pressing my lips together, I think about what I need to do. “If it’s not too much trouble, I think I’ll stay here today. I’ve got to follow up on some phone calls. I might have found a place for us to live.”

“We’ll be glad to take Eli off your hands for a few hours.” She teases, and I lean my hip against the counter, watching the boys skimming the large, gray pebbles that line the water’s edge. “He’s such a great kid.”

I couldn’t agree more.

With Ethan, Patrice, and all the boys gone for the island, I make a quick trip to the drugstore, quickly passing through the aisles until I find what I’m looking for. An equally quick transaction, and I’m back at the house, upstairs in my bathroom.

“Place in urine stream for ten seconds…” The last time I did this, I was in a cramped bathroom in a college dorm.

I never expected to be doing it again.

Stephen hustled us through the marriage ceremony and all the details so fast, I almost didn’t have time to swing by the drugstore and refill my birth control prescription.

Sex shouldn’t have been on the table in our arrangement… But I knew myself better than that.

“So I did refill it,” I say, hunched over on the toilet, doing my best to pee on the gauze tip.

Of course, I wasn’t even a week into taking it when we had our weekend-long honeymoon sexcapade.

“Is it possible we got pregnant that fast?” I could just be crazy.

Every time you have unprotected sex, you risk getting pregnant. My high school guidance counselor’s voice is in my head.

“Great time to be right, Mrs. Zimmerman.”

Standing, I clean up quickly then put the pink plastic cap over the used end of the pregnancy test and set it on the counter. I’m just checking my watch when someone knocks on the door downstairs.

It’s probably just the UPS man. I pace the bathroom, arms crossed, waiting for three minutes to pass. A knot is in my throat. What am I going to do if it’s positive? I’ll have to tell Stephen, which means I’ll have to see him again, which means I’ll break down crying because pregnancy hormones allow no room for stoicism…

The knocking on the door downstairs turns to banging, and I drop my arms. Leaving the pee stick on the counter, I jog downstairs thinking how some people are so rude.

My head goes light when I jerk the door open and find Stephen standing in front of me scowling. “Oh, my! Jesus!” For the second time, I’m pretty sure the world stopped spinning.

“Emmy.” He reaches out, catching me before I fall. “I wasn’t sure anyone was here.”

I’m struggling to catch my breath. “Ethan and Patrice took the boys out to the island.”

“You’re alone?” He’s still holding me, surrounding me in that scent I know so well. Fresh soap and spicy leather remind me of every way he’s ever touched me.

Pushing out of his arms, I straighten my shirt, trying to get my shit together. “What are you doing here?”

His brow lowers, forming that perfect scowl I fell in love with so many years ago. He clears his throat and looks over his shoulder, at nothing up the road. I know, because I look, too.

Suddenly, he turns back to me, and the expression in his blue eyes tells me it’s all or nothing. “Emmy, I’m an idiot.”

“No…” Shaking my head. “You’re the smartest guy I know.”

“I’m the biggest idiot.” He turns toward the street, putting his hands on his hips, spreading that expensive tailored blazer away from his tight ass.

With my heart flying in my chest, I reach for him. “Would you like to come inside?”

He turns to me again with that expression I’ve never seen. It’s helpless. “Emmy…” It’s like a prayer. “I’m sorry for what I said to you.”

“What you said?” I’m racking my brains. I try to remember all the things he said the last time we were together. None of them stand out as offensive.

“That night at Ethan’s party. I should have run after you into that crowd.”

My lips press together, and I think I might cry. “It was so long ago.”

“I should have found you when I got back from Africa.”

“After you left the Navy? I had already married Burt.”

Scrubbing his fingers on his forehead, he walks up the short hall to the kitchen, then he turns and walks back to me again. Stopping in front of me, he’s so tall. He looks down, and the heat burning between us sets my heart on fire.

“For the last month, all I’ve done is think about this. I was so selfish, so broken by mother’s death, by what happened to Ximena. I was angry with my father… I said I didn’t believe in marriage because I never wanted to put myself in the position to be hurt like that again.” His hand moves from his forehead to his mouth. “You hated me. I was safe being with you because you hated me.”

I blink and a tear hits my cheek. Stepping forward, he catches it with his thumb. “Now I know the truth. I need you, Emmy. I’m in love with you.”