Stay(55)

Swallowing the knot in my throat, I practice deep breathing. “You’re right.”

Stephen sits across from me on the bed, keeping his eyes on me like he’s ready to grab me again if I fall apart. I kind of love him for it. Placing my head on the pillow, I pull the blankets closer around my neck.

My voice is soft when I confess, “I’m so afraid.”

Seconds tick past before he answers. “I’m afraid, too.”

Crawling closer, I fall asleep in his strong arms. My face is pressed to his chest, and I’m pretty sure I don’t move for a long time.



* * *



“Ocean travelers come in many guises, and few are stranger than this…” Sir David Attenborough’s voice rouses me from a deep sleep.

Turning, I find myself sandwiched between my fake husband and my very real seven-year-old in the middle of Stephen’s California King.

“Eli!” I whisper, shifting around and doing my best not to wake Stephen. “What are you doing in here?”

Blinking hard, I try to figure out what time it is. No light is shining through the curtains, so I’m guessing it’s the middle of the night.

“Mom.” Eli drops the remote, and I glance to see a funny, floating crab making its way across the screen. “I miss our old place.”

“You do?”

“Yeah… We’re really spread out here.”

Propping my head on my hand, I trace my fingers down his little face. “No question about that. But I thought you liked it here.”

“I do, but if Kona ever had trouble sleeping at our old place, I could just put him in bed with you.” Eli’s voice is very adult, not at all like it was really him who joined Kona in bed with me.

“Is Kona having trouble sleeping?”

He nods, solemnly. “He tried really hard to sleep. He slept on his side and his stomach. He even slept on his back a few minutes, but he worried a spider might drop in his mouth.” My son’s blue eyes are so round and serious. I don’t dare crack a smile.

Running my fingers along his hairline, over his ear, I think about yesterday. “Is something on Kona’s mind?”

“I don’t know.” Eli tilts his head to the side as if he’s thinking hard. “He said he was worried I might be different after my surgery. Like I might act like a different person.”

“Like your personality might change?”

“I guess.” My son looks up at me, studying my face.

I know he’ll see it if I’m not completely honest with him. “I’ve never heard of that happening, and I’ve read everything I can find about this surgery. Dr. Roarke seems like a really smart man, and he’s only going to touch the part of your brain that’s messed up.”

“He’ll leave the other parts like they are?”

“That’s what he said. He’ll just fix the broken bits and leave all the good parts right where they are.” My stomach tugs, and I fight against tears. I never want him to feel afraid.

“I think Kona still wishes he could sleep with you tonight.”

Chewing my lip, I look over my shoulder. Stephen is lying on his back now, and he makes a loud noise. I gently push his shoulder until he turns his back to us. In this giant bed, we have plenty of room.

“I think it’ll be okay for tonight. If you don’t think Stephen will bother him.”

“Kona said he’s been making funny noises since before you woke up. I guess Dads are louder when they sleep than Moms.”

Pressing my lips together, I think about my own dad and Ethan… “Tell Kona he might be onto something.”

Eli snuggles into my side, his tattered orca cuddled between us. I punch up my pillow and look at the screen where a funny red crab continues his quest to survive the open ocean.





22





Stephen


“Stephen, how could you?” Aunt Rebecca’s voice is so loud on the phone, I have to hold it away from my ear. “You’re my last unmarried relative. How could you marry Emily Barton and not at least let me throw you a party. You’re breaking my heart.”

Propping my phone on my shoulder, I scrub my forehead with my fingertips. I’ve been off my game today. I woke with some massive morning wood going on, ready to bang Emmy into next week. I was getting things going, when Eli popped up beside her wanting to know what was happening.

Talk about a boner-killer! I’m surprised I didn’t have a heart attack. Emmy must’ve been exhausted, because she only then woke to realize what was up—party at her backside, motherhood at her front.

Have I mentioned how smart she is?

She immediately asked Eli what was happening. He announced I was hogging the bed, to which she agreed, giving me the squint eye.

How was I to know we had a stowaway? The benefit of having a wife is you can fuck her whenever you want… Until the kids show up.

“I assure you, Bex, I was not trying to break your heart.” I’m exhausted and not in the mood for theatrics.

“And yet you have.” She sounds like an escapee from the cast of Auntie Mame. “There’s only one way you can make it up to me.”

I really don’t have to ask, but I do. “What’s that?”