Space (Laws of Physics #2)(63)

This is insane.

A corner of my mind told me that this wasn’t part of the plan. I’d hoped for a sweet moment, a step toward something lasting. Not this lascivious spiral we’d been sucked into, humping like mindless animals.

But maybe that’s what we were.

Everything about this—how she grabbed me, how hot I burned, her nails digging into my back and sides, scratching, biting at my mouth, how I rocked against her greedy strokes, held her confined, reached my hand beneath her swim shirt to grab and pinch and twist one of the softest parts of her body—was animalistic and base, depraved and instinctual. On a physical level, it felt fucking amazing. But . . .

Is this what you want?

She blinked at me, like she was startled, and I realized I’d said the words out loud to her, a question meant for myself.

I flexed my muscles, tensing, thrusting against her open legs. She shuddered.

I repeated, “Is this what you want? For us?” I massaged her breast, circling the peek mercilessly with my thumb. “You wanna fuck?”

Her eyes dazed, a puff of breath leaving her, she whimpered, and she said, “No,” like it cost her, like she wasn’t sure.

But a no is always a no.

I swallowed, torn between relief and brutal frustration, and relaxed my hold. We were both breathing hard, and the effort required to remove my hands from her glorious skin felt like slicing my body in half. But I did. Reminding myself that I wanted in helped, made stepping away easier as her legs slipped from around my waist. I backed away, my hands on my hips. I wanted to conquer and be conquered, to be broken and reassembled using her pieces.

I retreated. For now.

Looking at her from across the pool, watching her suck in air, gripping the edge, her gaze still dazed and hot and conflicted, I knew taking Mona now wouldn’t do a damn thing other than make us feel good—really fucking good—for one moment. I didn’t want one of her moments, I wanted all of them. I wanted an invasion, not a visit.

“What are you thinking?” she asked abruptly, her searching eyes moving over me.

I cleared my throat. “I probably shouldn’t say.”

That made her frown, so I quickly added, “It involves you being very naked.”

Her frown cleared, and the side of her mouth twitched. “Very naked? As opposed to just a little naked?”

I wasn’t ready to smile, because my dick hated me, and I spoke to stall, just for the sake of speaking. “Yep. My cousin’s friend was a lingerie model at some ridiculous shop in the Northeast, and one time she told me there are stages of naked.”

Mona’s eyebrows pulled together, but not in a frown. “Stages of naked? What stage is fully naked? I mean, with no clothes?” She sounded curious.

“Stage five.”

Her eyes moved up and to the right, to some spot over my head. “Then what’s stage one?”

Sexy lingerie.

I cleared my throat again and shook my head, needing to clear it. “I’ll tell you later.”

“Why? Is it bad?”

“No.”

“Will I hate it?”

“I hope not.”

That made her smile. “I think I figured it out.”

I laughed, shaking my head again. Her smile widened and she wrapped her arms around herself, like she was cold. We needed to get out of this pool. Surreptitiously, I tucked my erection up and to the side, into the waist of my shorts, and tried not to wince at the action. I didn’t want it tenting my wet suit. She’d already felt it, so I didn’t think Mona needed to see how she affected that part of me.

Also, I didn’t need my dick leading the way.

“Come on.” I waded toward her gingerly, cock throbbing from how I’d concealed it, my hand outstretched, my voice rough. “Let’s go.”

She glanced between me and my fingers, stepping forward to grab them. “Why?”

“You’re still cold.”

“I don’t feel cold,” she muttered.

“Your skin is cold.” It was. Her fingers were chilled where they tangled with mine. “Let’s go warm you up.” Tugging, I led her to the pool steps, careful to stay in front of her just in case my erection slid free of the waistband.

“Where are we going? The hot tub?”

My steps faltered and my balls ached. “Hot tub?” What the hell? Was that my voice?

“Yes. Right over there.”

I swallowed around the thick band of lust and glanced at the hot tub, but only allowed myself a glance. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to get the resultant image of Mona out of my brain, and tonight’s lyrics would be brought to you by the words horny, hot, and tub. For an unknown reason, I felt like punching something.

“Bad idea,” I rasped.

She studied me, her gaze beautifully earnest. “If you don’t like the one in here, I have one in my room too.”

Oh God. “What?” And what the fuck is wrong with my voice?

“It’s actually on the balcony, not in the room.”

My body quickly pocketed this information, hoarding the knowledge for later, just in case we were to find ourselves in her room and struggling with boredom. By the end of the day tomorrow. Torture.

“I was thinking more like hot tea, or hot chocolate.” I made my voice deeper to disguise the strain of speaking while my brain fought a losing battle against my imagination. “Something warm to drink.”