Space (Laws of Physics #2)(47)

My gaze shifted to Charlie just as he lifted his blue eyes from where he was setting up the drum set. He sent me a small smile full of compassion and I lifted my chin, hoping to communicate a silent thanks. “Yes. He did. He’s a nice guy, that Charlie.”

“I saw you talking to him at the top of the hill while we were sledding, when it was just the two of you. The conversation seemed intense. What did you say?” she asked quietly.

I sighed, meeting her gaze. “He asked what I was doing later, so I told him what I thought—at the time—would probably be the truth.”

“Which was what?”

“That I’d be in my room crying.”

“What?” Allyn stopped herself just before taking a sip of her tea, which was good. From the way she’d said what, I suspected she would’ve spat tea all over me had she taken the drink.

“I told him I was hung up on someone who hated my guts, and rightfully so, because I’d lied and treated him horribly.”

“Oh my.” Allyn stared at me, a hand coming to her cheek. “What did he say?”

“He told me it couldn’t be that bad, that he didn’t think anyone could ever hate me. And thus, I told him more truth.”

“Oh no.” She shook her head, looking distressed.

“Oh yes. I told him I’d pretended to be my sister to keep her out of trouble—I didn’t go into too many specifics there, since it’s not really my story to tell—and the guy I fell for thought I was Lisa. By the way, this is really good. Is that just whiskey and peppermint tea? Or do I detect honey?” I took another gulp and licked my lips. “Maybe lemon?”

“Mona, you told Charlie all of that?” She sounded dismayed.

“Yes.”

“Jeez.” Her forehead fell to her fingers and she peered at me with obvious worry. “You didn’t tell me about any of this until three days ago, and I’m your best friend. Why did you tell Charlie?”

Movement by the room’s entrance drew my attention and I turned my head just in time to see Abram walk in. Almost immediately, his eyes came to my eyes, held for a protracted millisecond, and then he glanced away. Metaphorical swords of self-recrimination and want—so much want—speared me, sliced me from sternum to stomach, and I had to hold my breath for several full seconds, wait for the room to right itself, and the world beneath to resume spinning.

Please, please, please, don’t let this song be about me.

“Mona, are you sure it was a good idea to tell Charlie?”

“No,” I answered, more breath than words. “But I wanted to try being honest. . . for once.”

“Okay.” Abram called everyone’s attention to him, which was unnecessary. As soon as he’d entered the room the energy shifted, changed, seemed to flow from him as a single source. He was the gamma-ray burst and we basked in his overwhelming magnificence.

Or maybe it was just me that felt that way.

Regardless, all eyes were already on Abram before he spoke. “Special thanks to Nicole for playing bass.”

He gestured to her and she smiled widely, curtseying to the room as they clapped devotedly. Abram took his place in front of the other three musicians. He sat on a stool set a little apart from everyone else, and then—as though taking their cue from him—the other three sat on their stools.

“We’re going to switch it up a little, try something we want to do on the tour.” He seemed to be speaking to the other group, the larger assembly comprised mostly of musicians who sat closer to the makeshift stage. “It’ll be slower, quieter. You can think of yourselves as our guinea pigs.”

“Will we get carrots?” Bruce—the cocktail guy—asked, making a few people laugh.

“I’m not throwing you a carrot or a bone, if that’s what you’re asking.” Abram’s response made more people laugh, and harder.

I didn’t laugh. My stomach hurt, so I went to drink more tea. Sadly, I found it was empty. Licking my lips, I set the empty cup down and picked up the new one on the table, the one Lila hadn’t wanted, and took a gulp of the lukewarm mixture. It was still good, heartening, and I felt myself settle a little. But then, Charlie banged his drumsticks together to mark the beat. Suddenly, they were playing.

The intro.

Every muscle in my body tensed and Abram lifted his eyes to mine. Immediately, completely, utterly I was ensnared, caught. Him, the infinite dimensions of Abram, and all else seemed to fade into a void, even the music. I couldn’t look away. I was trapped, so trapped.

And then he opened his mouth, and he sang,

“She falls, I catch her.

She fights, I let her go.

It starts, she stops it.

She has to know. She has to know.





* * *



I stand, I kneel, I sit, I chase,

But it’s like we haven’t moved.

We’re still here, with the past between us,

This place

I hate

I’m left to wonder what I haven’t proved.





* * *



This is new, for me and for you.

Nothing you say, nothing you do

Can make me hold a grudge.





* * *



Whispers in the dark, stealing touches, holding my breath.