Smolder (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter, #29)(88)

37

THERE WAS A wall of gauzy curtains almost immediately through the door. They were the “walls”

for the living room because it was really just one big cave. Wicked held the gauzy curtains aside for us to enter. Jake went ahead of us just a little, but if something jumped us in the living room that would mean they’d gotten past all the other guards, which would mean we’d already lost. Luckily the scariest thing waiting for us was the anxiety radiating off Damian. He stood at the edge of the antique Persian rug that looked like brilliant stained glass, but we’d put a thicker cushioning underneath it, so you’d never know it sat on bare stone.

Damian’s red hair was the closest to true red, like a Crayola crayon, than any other natural redhead I’d ever met. I guess a thousand years of no sunlight on your hair will change the color. It fell past his shoulders, so red that it brought out the red in the rug. He was wearing his favorite robe. A dark, rich, blue velvet a little frayed at the cuffs and hem, and though I couldn’t see it from this angle I knew that the elbows were starting to come out. It was a Victorian dressing gown that he’d gotten when they were all the rage. Now it was one of his comfort objects. He must have been ready for bed, which meant there’d be silky pajama pants on under the robe.





Damian’s anxiety rode my body so that my heartbeat sped in sympathy. He wanted to run to me, kiss me, but he wasn’t sure if it would be welcome with the three of us standing hand in hand. I might have used our metaphysical connection to find out what was wrong, but I wasn’t sure if what I learned would translate directly to Jean-Claude and Richard. I could open up and hear everyone, but I wasn’t so good at keeping the individual parts from intermingling. So I said, “Damian, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to overstep,” he said, and his voice had a note of tormented uncertainty that I hadn’t heard in it for a year.

“You have greeted ma petite when she is on my arm many times, why do you hesitate now?”

“Rumor has it that the three of you are back together. The last time that was true you did not share well.”

“There is no need to be so formal, mon ami,” Jean-Claude said.

Damian didn’t look convinced that he didn’t need all the vampire formality that we usually did without among ourselves. “I thank you for your words, Jean-Claude, and I feel what Anita wants, but what does the Ulfric say?”

“Richard isn’t the boss of you,” I said, and that first snap of anger was there in my voice and tightening through my shoulders. I knew I had unresolved anger from our breakup, but now was not the

time. I would not be the one who lost my shit first. If Richard behaved, so would I.

“Anita’s right,” Richard said, “and I don’t know what rumors you’ve heard, but I didn’t come back expecting anything, except a chance to try again. You’re part of their poly group, and I respect that.”

“Thank you for saying that, Ulfric.”

I frowned, studying Damian, realizing that he was shielding from me enough that I could only get the strong emotions that he couldn’t hide. “I’m glad Richard came back in time to help save the day, we might not be standing here if he hadn’t, but our poly group doesn’t suddenly get an overhaul for him that we wouldn’t make for any other new member.”

Damian gave a tentative smile. “I’m glad to hear that.”

“Then go give her a kiss,” Wicked said, “I’ve already made it clear that I’m not giving up my place in Anita’s life, and I’m barely in the poly group compared to you.”

I looked at him again; it was so unlike him to speak out like that.

“You did?” Damian asked, and didn’t quite hide his surprise.

“He did,” Ethan said.

“All of us did,” Truth said.

“I missed it,” Nicky said.

“I’ll fill you in later,” Ethan said.

Damian looked at all of them, then back at Richard, Jean-Claude, and finally me. “I guess the rumors are wrong.”

“They are,” Richard and I said together, then glanced at each other and smiled. I looked away, because all I could think was, How could anyone change this much and stay changed? People can change with a lot of effort and therapy, but they hardly ever do the work to stay with the new version of themselves. They do just enough to fix their marriage, or reconcile with their family, but once they’re back in their old life it’s incredibly hard not to fall back into old familiar patterns, even destructive ones.

“I’m committed to my therapy, Anita.”

It startled me, and Jean-Claude squeezed my hand; so much for my ability to shield my thoughts.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to think that loud.”

“No, it’s good, I need to know your doubts and fears about this.”

“I know that you’re worried how you’ll fit into the larger poly group.”

“I know if I had been able to work all my issues sooner that it would have been the three of us and maybe that would have been it, or who knows”—he added that part because I couldn’t hide the flash of anger at his presumption—“but at least I’d have been in the poly group from the beginning instead of trying to fit myself in when it’s established.”