Smoke and Wishes (Best Wishes #1)(38)

“I think that’s enough for today, you used a large amount of your mana stores creating a shield that advanced. Take the rest of the day to rest and make sure you eat, it’ll help keep up the energy your body needs to replace. You did very well today. If it’s alright with you, I would like to continue to work with you on mental defense work outside of your scheduled class time. If your ability to shield like you did today is any indication, you’ll advance quickly. I would like to meet on Friday mornings if that would work for you, I know you enjoy your shifts at the library.”

He continued to talk as we walked out of the booth. My attention split between listening to him and looking around the seats of the auditorium, they were empty signifying students were still working. I stopped at the bottom of the stairs that headed up to my desk and turned to him.

“As long as I’m able to continue working at the library and go see the Kohl games, I would appreciate working with you. I want to learn and do the best I can. I feel like I’m well behind everyone with growing up as a human.” His eyes crinkled around the edges as he smiled at me.

“I understand, I’ll email you a schedule of when to come to my office. We won’t start until next week to give you some more time to adjust to classes and campus life. It was lovely meeting you, Lucie. I’ll be in touch,” He shook my hand again before he turned and strode confidently out the room. I looked to see if our Professor was at her desk, but it was empty as the rest of the room. Must be helping with another student, I surmised. Unsure of whether I should stay for the last twenty minutes of class, I walked up to my desk and sat down, closing my eyes against the room that had begun to spin.

“Hey, princess. You’re done early,” I opened my eyes and willed the room to still. I couldn’t entirely focus, so I rubbed my hands up and down my face a few times, catching a glimpse of the clock.

“Yeah, I’ve been done for about fifteen minutes. Alex said I needed to take it easy for the rest of the day, but I wasn’t sure if I should leave class. I must have zoned out after I sat down,” my voice was thick with exhaustion.

“Alex, huh?” Hudson dropped down into the seat to my right. “How did it go?” He leaned forward on his toned forearms, the honey-colored skin a stark contrast to his grey sleeves that had been pushed up to his elbows.

“It was a struggle at first, but I was able to get my shield up after a bit of finagling.”

“You were able to get the solid shield up?” He leaned away from me and turned his torso putting his weight on his right arm, “like completely?”

“Yup,” I popped the p at the end of the word, the exhaustion I was feeling making me feel loopy and silly. “I was also able to push him out of my mind when I slammed the shield down.” He sat completely still.

“How did you do that?” His voice was low, laced with awe.

“How did she do what?” Cam added as he sat in the seat next to me.

“I was able to shut Alex out of my mind when I locked down my shield,” I informed him. What’s the big deal? They seemed thoroughly impressed, I just did what felt instinctive. My tired brain couldn’t keep up with the conversation or their silent communication with each other.

“Wow, that’s crazy. You forced out Dean Renaud?” Cam’s voice was surprised with his eyebrows nearing his hair. “I’m with Hudson, how did you do that?”

“I don’t know,” I shifted in my seat and averted my gaze to the desk in front of me. “Just trying to feel and visualize a brick wall wasn’t working. I kept having holes, so he had me pick out a memory where I felt afraid or unsafe. Use that as motivation, shut out those feelings, lock everything down. Protect yourself,” I shrugged, not sure how much more I was willing to say. I wanted to tell them. They must already have an idea of what I wasn’t saying, but I couldn’t bring myself to divulge all of it. Not yet.

“Princess, did it have anything to do with the scars and bruising? Your anxiety?” Hudson’s voice was rough with emotion, he ran his fingers through my hair pushing it away from my face. His fingers were warm against my scalp. Fuck that feels good. My eyes shifted closed as I leaned into his warm palm and took a shaky breath. After the day I’ve had, this is exactly what I needed. “Do you like this?” His voice still rough, but now it held a hint of heat. I made a noise not wanting to think. So tired. He chuckled at me as Cam’s hand came up resting at the top of my neck. He started rubbing softly against my knots.

“Holy shit, Lucie. Your neck is like one giant knot. Why are you so tense?” Cam’s fingers focused more on the worst of the knots, right at the base. I moaned at how good it felt.

“Lucie, you didn’t answer my question,” Hudson reminded me. I squeezed my eyes closed and forced the words out of my mouth.

“Yes, they’re related,” their fingers stilled. My voice was quiet. I didn’t want those around me knowing my shitty past, but I also promised to talk to them about it eventually.

“Was it an ex?” Hudson asked quietly, shifting closer to keep our conversation private. I could feel his breath on my neck. Their fingers had resumed their motions, lulling me into a near meditative state.

“I don’t want to talk about it. I’m too exhausted,” I swallowed hard, memories pushed forward shattering my haze of relaxation. I have to get out of here. I pulled away from them when I heard the rest of the bags around the room being shuffled around. Their fingers fell away from me, but they didn’t make any movements to back up. I made sure I had everything in my bag before stepping out of my seat. “I’ll see you guys later.” I hurried down the stairs feeling my heart sputter painfully, my drowsy mood swiftly becoming panic. Just get to your room, I commanded as I pushed out into the overcast weather.