Silent Victim(63)

‘Dad’s in the men’s ward. He dragged you out of the fire. It’s not done his lungs much good.’

I groaned. How could I have been so selfish? Why hadn’t I just taken some pills instead of the need for all the drama? I knew why. Because I still thought Luke would come to save me, and the flames would light up the sky like a beacon.

‘Luke,’ I croaked, forgetting my promise to keep quiet about us.

‘Oh, babe,’ Theresa said, ‘I know. Everyone does. It’s all come out.’

I licked my dry cracked lips as I tried to force out the words, feeling grateful that the sorest part of my body were my lungs and throat. I could have been scarred for life. How could I have been so stupid?

‘Shh, just listen,’ Theresa said, looking as if she had not slept all night. Devoid of make-up, her face was pale and gaunt, her unwashed blonde hair scraped back into a ponytail. ‘You’re not in any trouble, but the police are waiting to speak to you. I don’t want you to get a fright when they turn up.’

‘Police?’ I croaked, fear spearing my heart. Had something happened to Luke? I imagined him rushing over to save me, a car accident maybe. Had he been killed? Had the police found my texts on his phone? I bit my lip as a wave of anxiety threatened to engulf me.

‘It’s OK. It’s all been sorted. You should have spoken to me. I know I’ve not been about lately, but I’m only at the end of the phone.’ She glanced through the crack in the curtain before lowering her voice. ‘They need to serve you with a harassment warning. Luke went to the police about it when he heard you were in hospital. He said you’ve been stalking him for months. I spoke to him on the phone. He said he’s sorry it’s gone this far but he had to report it to the police to stop you hurting yourself again.’

‘But he . . .’ I took a painful breath, barely able to believe her words. ‘He kissed me . . .’

Theresa’s gaze fell to the floor. She didn’t believe me. ‘I know things have been tough since Mum went, but I thought you were feeling better about things. Dad said that you were improving. I had no idea that all this stuff was going on.’ She sighed, quickly checking her phone before sliding it back in her pocket. ‘You were lucky. That white spirit you used – Dad bought it from one of his cronies in the pub when he was redecorating the house but he was going to throw it out because it was so watered down.’

I tried to swallow, my throat tight from breathing in the fumes. How much worse would I have been if it were full strength? But then again, I wouldn’t be here at all. Tears pricked my eyes as I tried to come to terms with Luke’s betrayal. He had only just called the police, which meant he was covering his back; he had no intention of saving me at all.

Oblivious to the reasons behind my distress, Theresa kept talking. ‘There’s a bit of fire damage to the house but nothing that can’t be fixed. The best thing you can do is to accept the warning and say no more. Luke said he’s willing to forget about things if you are, wipe the slate clean, although you won’t be in his class any more.’ She gave my hand another squeeze. ‘We’re going to get you some counselling. I know you’ve not been eating properly. But we’ll sort it. Everything’s going to be fine.’ She let go of my hand to pick up a cardboard gift bag that had been on the floor. ‘Here, I got you a present,’ she said, pulling a Steiff collectable teddy bear from its tissue-paper wrapping.

‘Thanks,’ I said, stroking its fur. I had stopped collecting teddies at the age of eleven. With an aching sense of loneliness I realised that I couldn’t confide in my sister about Luke now even if I wanted to. Theresa was a stranger to me. She didn’t know me at all.





CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE

ALEX





2017


My flesh crawled as Theresa’s text came through.

See you in one hour.

I replied with the thumbs up emoji, not trusting myself to say any more. It was one o’clock in the morning, and I tried to understand Theresa’s reasoning for meeting at this hour. After being made aware of Emma’s encounter with Luke’s sister, she had insisted we bring forward the dig to tonight. I suppressed a shudder. The place gave me the creeps during the day, God knows what it was going to be like down there at night. I gently shook Emma by the shoulder, not willing to slip away without making her aware.

‘Emma,’ I bent over, my lips close to her ear. The last thing I wanted was to wake Jamie as he slept. My son and I had eaten our supper just the two of us, me wondering if this is what it would be like should our marriage come to an end. Taking Jamie at weekends, while Emma had him weekdays. In my eyes, it was a fractured upbringing; he deserved so much more.

‘Mmm?’ Emma said, her words thick with sleep.

‘I’ve got to go into work. There’s been a flood in the Colchester office, and the caretaker can’t get hold of anyone else.’ It seemed as good an excuse as any, and she accepted it readily before turning to go back to sleep.



I parked as close as I could to the field. I could have walked the whole way, but I had told Emma I was going to work, so needed to take the car. I was grateful for the full moon as I trudged along the muddy path. All I could hear were my boots being sucked in by the mud and the rustle of nocturnal creatures startled by my night-time visit. I could feel their eyes on me, watching my every movement. I gripped my torch tightly, my senses on edge as I listened for every sound. The moon reflected against the frame of the digger, casting the metal in a blue-grey hue. As I approached it, I could not believe what I was about to do.