Silent Victim(62)

‘What?’ Groaning, Alex rubbed his forehead with his hand.

I folded my arms, my back against the kitchen counter. I hated seeing him like this, but all the fight had left me. I didn’t want to argue any more. ‘I had to do something,’ I said. My words were slow and deliberate. It was as if I’d had too much to drink and were pretending to be sober. I could not look Alex in the eye, for fear that I might laugh out loud. It was something that would probably frighten me later, but for now, detachment felt preferable to facing up to what I had done. ‘Anyway, she couldn’t tell me much. She’s too scared of him to find out where he is.’

Alex threw me a glare that conveyed he was not entirely convinced. ‘Please tell me you haven’t done anything to hurt her.’

‘Of course not,’ I said. ‘What do you take me for?’ I tried to give him a reassuring smile as I realised the irony of my statement. It quickly dropped from my face as I took in the extent of his anger. He was in a foul mood, and nothing I said would ease it.

‘So, everything you said about meeting a client was a lie.’

I could have turned the tables on him, asked how his coffee with Theresa had been, but instead I turned back to the sink and immersed my hands in the hot soapy water. The bubbles felt nice on my skin, and I squeezed the sponge as I ran it over the plates. I did not want to think about Luke, or Noelle, or the binge I’d partaken in today. I was not sure my mind could cope with it. But Alex stood over me, filling the air with hushed accusations. It was my fault I had dragged the family into this. All I did was tell a lie. I didn’t take his feelings into consideration for a second; did I love him at all? I allowed his words to flow over me, waiting for him to run out of steam. I knew he was keeping his voice down because Jamie was asleep, and I wondered if it would be better for him just to let it all out.

By the time I had washed and dried the dishes, his outburst had come to an end. A one-sided argument could only last so long, particularly when the object of your frustrations remained unresponsive. Slowly I felt the fog in my brain clear, and I dried my hands before taking a seat at the kitchen table. ‘I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘I know I’ve put you through a lot. I won’t go behind your back again.’

Alex sagged in the chair, his energy spent. ‘When you didn’t answer the phone at the shop I thought the worst.’ He took a deep breath, his face carrying some extra worry lines that weren’t there before. ‘What’s going to happen when we go to Leeds? I mean, sure, we can move away, but are we still going to have a marriage at the end of all this?’

Tears pricked my eyes, real emotion finally worming its way into my heart. ‘Please, Alex, don’t say that. I thought I could meet Noelle and ask her if she’d heard from him. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable. It’s driving me mad, not knowing if he’s dead or alive, if everything that’s happening is down to him, or if I’m slowly losing my mind.’ My chin wobbled as I spoke, and I wiped a tear from the corner of my eye. ‘It’s killing me inside.’

Alex’s head hung low on his shoulders, and when he raised it to meet mine, all traces of anger had dissipated. ‘You can’t afford to draw attention to yourself. Leave it to me. I’ve been working in the background, making enquiries.’ He spoke slowly and carefully, as if he was talking to a four-year-old child.

I nodded, grateful that he was taking control. My head was swimming in confusion and I no longer felt like I could make the right decision for myself. I grabbed his shirt sleeve, hating myself for being so needy. ‘Please don’t leave me. I don’t want to be here on my own.’

‘Of course I’m not going to leave you,’ he said, leaning over to place his hands on mine. ‘But you have to let me sort this out. Did his sister mention when she last saw him?’

I shook my head. ‘Not since before I . . . before what happened in the paddock. Her family have broken all contact. Her mum is very unwell. Noelle seems to think that further contact from Luke could finish her off. She said he’s caused the family nothing but heartbreak over the years.’

‘Then it’s all the more reason for you to be careful. First Jamie and now this . . . Don’t go stirring things up.’

I rose from my chair, my situation becoming grimmer by the minute. ‘I’m going to peep in on Jamie,’ I said, feeling like I was carrying the whole world on my shoulders.





CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT

EMMA





2003


The antiseptic tang that assailed my nostrils told me I was not at home any more. I tried to bring my vision into focus as I blinked. My chest was tight and I felt like someone had poured a bag of grit into my eyes and throat. A warm hand squeezed mine and for a second my heart fluttered as I wondered if Luke had come to my rescue after all. The last thing I remembered was being dragged out of my smoking house by a pair of strong hands, and it made me melt to know he cared after all.

‘Hey, are you OK?’ Theresa said, and I rubbed my eyes, disappointment bringing instant tears as I realised that Luke was not there.

‘Shh, don’t try to talk,’ she soothed, squeezing my hand. ‘You’re lucky to be alive. You gave us an awful fright.’

My eyes grew wide as I looked around the hospital room. A curtain shielded my bed. On the locker beside me were a bunch of carnations and a punnet of grapes.