Silent Victim(36)

Coming down from her cloud, she stood before me, flushed from her exertions. ‘I like this one; it feels swishy when I move.’

‘Lace suits you,’ I said, handing Josh the camera as I escorted her to the changing rooms.

Minutes later she was out of her dress and back in her regular colourful clothes. I handed her the photo to add to her collection. ‘Here you go. Don’t you look lovely? Bernard’s a very lucky man.’

‘He was,’ she said, with a sense of finality. ‘This is my last visit. I won’t be coming back.’

‘But . . .’ I was just about to ask why, when she silenced me with a gaze.

‘I know there’s no wedding, I always have. It’s time to join the real world.’ She smoothed down her hair. ‘Still, it was nice while it lasted, and sweet of you to indulge me.’

‘I don’t understand,’ I said, still not wanting to burst the bubble.

‘My son’s paid a visit. He’s got it into his head that I’m senile. I don’t want to go into a home.’

‘But Bernard . . .’

‘Is buried in the graveyard. I’ll still visit him, have a little chat, but I know there’s no wedding. Still,’ she chuckled, ‘it was nice to pretend.’

‘You do know you can come here anytime, don’t you?’ I said, following her to the door.

She shook her head sadly. ‘As the saying goes . . . the past is a nice place to visit but not a good place to stay.’

As I saw her out, I wondered if I would be echoing her words when I was eighty.

‘You OK?’ Josh said, handing me a cup of green tea.

‘Ta,’ I said, feeling my throat constrict as I spoke. ‘Yeah, I’m all right, just feeling a bit sorry for Maggie.’ I looked him up and down. ‘You look nice.’ Gone were the ripped skinny jeans and sweater. In their place was a pair of smart black trousers and a white shirt. I was going to make a joke about him having a court appearance but given my own predicament, decided to hold back.

‘I thought I’d smarten myself up a bit,’ he explained. ‘You know, I was thinking – perhaps we could do a line in hire for gay weddings.’

‘I thought we already did – if both brides hire dresses. Why?’ I said, giving him a wry grin. ‘What are you after? Rainbow colour fabrics like the gay pride flag?’

‘Sounds good to me,’ Josh said, with a twinkle in his eye.

I flashed him a smile. ‘What I want to know is . . . how come you get a lovely rainbow flag?’

‘I’ll make you a flag if you like. What colour would suit your lifestyle?’ Josh said.

‘Black,’ I said morosely. ‘No, make it grey.’

‘Like an old pair of knickers too long in the wash?’ Josh grinned. ‘I can’t see it catching on.’

I chuckled into my cup as I took a sip of tea. ‘You make me laugh,’ I said. ‘Did you actually have any sensible ideas or were you just trying to cheer me up?’

Josh clicked his fingers. ‘Oh yeah, I thought we could get a photography shoot done of same-sex couples, use them for promo in selected websites and wedding magazines. We could open the business up to a whole new stream of clients. People will travel if they know we cater for everyone.’

‘Sure thing,’ I said, admiring his business acumen. ‘Do your research, work out how much budget we need for marketing and I’ll have a look.’

‘Ooh the boss lady is loosening her purse strings. There’s a first time for everything, I suppose.’

I was just about to respond when there came a familiar jingle from above the shop door. ‘Saved by the bell,’ I said with a smile.

As I immersed myself with my client, I came to a decision. Maggie was right. The past was not a good place to live. I could not allow it to eat into my soul any longer. Josh had come on so much since I’d given him a chance. I could move to Leeds knowing my business was in capable hands. It was time to give myself a second chance too. But the only way of doing that would be to find Luke and face up to what I had done. There was one person who would know where he was. His brother had moved away, but he had a sister who, so far as I knew, still lived in Colchester. For a long time I had dreaded bumping into her on the street, and hoped I had changed enough that she would not recognise me immediately. But the days of hiding were behind me now. I thought of Jamie, my marriage, and everything I could not afford to lose. It was time to find Luke and put the ghosts of the past to rest.





CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

EMMA





2002


Holding my breath, I pressed my finger on the stiff plastic doorbell. Luke’s house loomed large and imposing. It was a mansion compared to the tiny cottage I lived in. I cast an eye over his car parked on the gravel driveway, appreciating the scent of the chrysanthemums bordering the path. I felt like I was in a game of knock down ginger with my sister, ready to run at the first sign of life. My grip around the bouquet of sunflowers tightened. They had cost me all my pocket money due to them being imported, but you couldn’t put a price on love. I sniffed the flowers, thinking what a beautiful bridal bouquet they would make. I spent a lot of time daydreaming about weddings, when my thoughts weren’t tied up with Luke.

The sight of his shadow behind the frosted glass made my heart trip over itself in my chest. Wearing my brightest smile, I took a deep breath as he opened the door. ‘Hi,’ I said breezily, even though my limbs were trembling as I stood.