Satin Princess(89)
“You’re a strong man.”
He shrugs. “It’s how I knew I could pass whatever initiation they threw at me. I was built for tougher stuff. The underworld is a place I understand.”
“You never wanted to get away from it all?”
He raises his eyebrows. “If I didn’t find this, I would have ended up in some street gang. I’d probably be dead in a ditch by now. The Bratva gives me purpose. It gives me a reason to get up in the morning. Without it, I would have ended up like my parents. And I wanted to avoid that at all costs.”
“What about love?” I ask. “Is there room in your life for that?” It sounds silly when I say it out loud, but I’m genuinely curious.
“My father loved my mother,” he says quietly. “And it didn’t save either one of them in the end. They lived the last decade of their life apart.”
“Not all love stories end that way,” I remind him.
He smiles. “I take it you’re a hopeless romantic?”
I blush a little. “I’m just an ordinary girl. Most of us are.”
“Don’t sell yourself short. If you were an ordinary girl, Anton would have never fallen for you.”
I know Lev wouldn’t say something like that unless it was true. He’s not the kind of guy to offer insincere flattery.
“Do you really think he’s fallen for me?” I ask in a small voice. My heart clenches. “Did he say something to you?”
Lev smiles. “No. But I’ve known him a long time.”
“He’s not good at saying how he feels.”
“None of us are.”
I sigh. “Sometimes, it’s hard for me. The not-knowing.”
“Jessa, he may not voice certain things out loud. But actions say more than words ever could.”
“He’s protective of me, yes. But I am carrying his baby. I’m just a means to an end.”
“You think it’s just about the child?”
“Well, he hasn’t really known me very long.”
Lev drums on the steering wheel. “Don’t those fairytale books you read talk about love at first sight and fated soulmates and all that bullshit? Who needs time?”
I shoot him a glare. “I’m just saying, it’s hard to know where I stand with him.”
“He won’t abandon you, Jessa.”
“That doesn’t mean he loves me. It means he’s stubborn.”
“He’s as stubborn as any man who’s ever lived,” Lev laughs. Then he falls quiet again for a bit. “I never thought he’d entertain another relationship after Marina. And yet here you are. Pregnant, to boot.”
“It wasn’t exactly planned.”
He gives me a pointed glance. “If you’re searching for things to worry about, you’ll find them.”
I sit with those words for a while. The more I think about it, the more they resonate. “Thanks, Lev.”
“For what?”
“Your advice.”
He seems mildly amused by that. “Sure.”
A few minutes later, we pull up outside Chris’s apartment. It’s a nice building, but worn. The bricks are sun-bleached and water stains dip low beneath the gutters.
“Will you wait out here for me?” I ask.
“Definitely not.”
I sigh. “Really, Lev?”
“I’ll stay outside of the apartment unit if you want, but I’m coming into the building with you.”
I don’t bother arguing. I already know what the end result will be. So I nod in defeat and get out of the car.
I give Chris’s apartment a buzz, but get nothing in response. I try again.
“Maybe he’s out?” Lev suggests, leaning casually against the wall.
“That’s his car parked over there,” I point out. “He’s definitely in. And he wouldn’t ignore his bell.”
“Maybe he knows it’s you.”
I throw him a dirty look and smash the button a couple more times. The buzzer is a loud, annoying sound. He wouldn’t just sit and listen to it. If I keep this up for another few minutes, I’m sure he’ll cave and let me into the building.
Five minutes later, though, I’m starting to get angry. “Jesus!” I growl. “I get that he’s angry, but this is just childish.”
“Give him some space.”
“I was going to, but I thought we needed to have a conversation first.”
Lev raises his eyebrows. “I think you’re missing the point.”
“You don’t understand, Lev. He basically told me that he no longer wants to be friends with me. I can’t just let him get his way.” I can feel myself getting emotional. I bite down on my tongue and look up at the building. “Wait—sometimes he takes the bus to his parents’ house because parking in their area is a nightmare.”
Hoping to God he’s with them, I dial his mom’s cell number. She answers after a couple of rings.
“Jessa, dear, it’s been so, so long!”
I instantly feel bad for not making more of an attempt to keep in touch. Despite my rift with Chris, I’d invited them to the wedding. But they’d been in Portugal visiting their daughter and couldn’t make it.