Royally Not Ready(88)
“Good,” he answers and then goes silent.
“Hey, Keller?”
“Hmm?”
“Can I talk to you about something?”
“You can talk to me about anything,” he says.
I raise up and change my position so I’m leaning across his chest, looking down at him, face to face. “I want to say something to you but I don’t want you to think it’s spur of the moment, or because we just had sex or anything like that. I’ve been thinking about this for a while.”
“Okay.” His hand falls on my bare hip.
“I . . . I wanted to tell you that I’ve made my decision.”
“Your decision?” he asks, looking confused.
“About whether I’m going to stay or go back to Miami.”
His eyes widen. “Oh, that. But I thought you would wait until you got to Strombly to make that decision. Lilly, I know it’s been rough here, but at least give us a chance to show you the other side.”
I press my hand to his rapidly beating heart. “I’m not leaving, Keller. I’m going to stay.”
“Wait . . . what?” He sits up now. “Really? You’re going to stay?”
“Yes.” I smile. “I’m not sure what’ll happen when I reach Strombly or when I’m introduced to the public, but I keep feeling as if this is what I was supposed to do. I feel like I belong here, like that piece of me that’s been missing all this time has been found.”
“Jesus, you’re serious?” he asks, his expression so adorably shocked that I lean forward and press my forehead against his.
“Yes, I’m serious.”
“Holy . . . holy fuck, Lilly.” He scoops me up and lays me flat against the mattress, where he cups my cheek gently and stares into my eyes. “You’re really going to stay?”
“Yes, as long as that doesn’t change anything between us.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I know you have some reservations about who you are and whom I’ll become, but I don’t want that to stop you from being with me. I don’t want you to pull away.”
His eyes search mine, his mind processing what I’m saying. If I stay and become queen, then he’d be dating the queen, and I need to make sure that’s okay with him.
He swallows hard.
The pause in his answer, the shiftiness in his eyes . . . it sends a fearful chill down my back. You can see the backpedaling on the tip of his tongue.
“Keller, I know you’ve always put up that wall, but I can’t do this without you—”
“You won’t have to,” he says finally. He brings my knuckles to his lips, where he places a gentle kiss. “I’m yours for as long as you’ll have me.”
“Really?” I ask. “Because I know how you feel about—”
“The only thing you should worry about is your training, nothing else. I’m yours and I’m not going anywhere.”
“Keller.” I lift into his arms and hold him tightly. “Truly, you mean that?”
His arms encase me against his chest and his hand grips the back of my head. “Yes, love, I do.”
I pull away to look him in the eyes, just to make sure. “Because I’ll need you, Keller. This is terrifying and a large responsibility. I don’t know if I can handle it alone. I need you by my side.”
“I know, and I promise, I’ll be there for you.”
I place my hand on his dark scruff and bring him in close, resting a soft kiss on his lips. “Thank you.”
“No, love, thank you for making a selfless decision.”
I shake my head. “No, it’s not selfless. There’s nothing selfless about my decision. It’s based purely on being selfish. I was going through the motions while living in Miami. I had a successful business and friends, but I never felt fulfilled. Here, there’s so much filling my life with joy, even on the days you’re droning on about the history of codfish.”
He chuckles. “It’s important information.”
“But seriously, I feel as if I’m a part of something here, I feel as though I can feel my mom here. I feel the love. I want to hold on to that. I want to mend things with Queen Katla, mend a relationship my mom never could. And I want to learn from my grandparents.” I kiss him once again. “And I want to do that with you next to me.”
“Well, I’m all yours.”
“And I’m yours.”
I kiss him again as he lays me back down on the bed, where he curls me up to his chest and doesn’t let me go the entire night.
A large yawn escapes me as I sit up in bed, wincing as I feel the heaviness of pain in my head. I peep my eye open but can’t see Keller. Unsure of the time, I drag myself out of bed, needing more Ibuprofen, and head to my room, where I throw on a pair of pajama shorts and a T-shirt.
If it were Keller and me, I would’ve just slipped into his shirt and called it a day, but I’m not sure what his plan is when it comes to telling people about us, so I’ll let him take control over that, and I’ll dress in my own clothes.
The sun is bright, feeling like laser beams straight to my eyes, so I hold on to the stair rail as I head down the stairs. The cold wood under my feet wakes me up as I make my way to the kitchen, expecting to hear Brimar and Lara talking over a pot of coffee, but instead, I find Keller leaning against the counter, wearing nothing but a pair of shorts, his hair rumpled in all the best ways, while holding a single mug of coffee.