Royally Not Ready(49)

I’m fucking up. I have a job to do. Get Lilly Campbell to want to stay in our country and assume the throne. And nothing about that means I have the right to touch her, let alone hold her.

Get it the fuck together.





Chapter Eleven





LILLY





“Okay, where are we studying today?” I ask Keller, who’s standing stoically in the living room.

He gestures to the dungeon—I mean lecture room. “Where we normally study.”

“What?” I ask. “But . . . I thought after yesterday we were livening things up.” I give my shoulders a slight shimmy.

“We’ll be in the room, Lilly,” he says, ignoring my shimmy and attempt to lighten the obvious morose mood he’s in. “Let’s get a move on.”

Move on?

Okay, this morning when we were on our run and he was silent most of the time, I chalked it up to maybe a rough night of sleep and didn’t bother him.

And at breakfast, when he didn’t even look at me, I let him off easy, because maybe he was thinking about what we were going over today.

But now, no way, this is unacceptable.

I follow him into the room, and when he shuts the door, I spin on him, hands on my hips, and say, “What the hell is going on?”

“What do you mean?” he asks, still avoiding eye contact as he moves around the room.

“I mean, you’re being weird and I want to know why.”

“I’m not being weird, Lilly. Now take a seat, we have a lot to go over.”

“Keller, will you just look at me?”

His shoulders drop and he lifts his head, his eyes meeting mine. “What?”

“Last night, we had fun, you even said you did. I thought we connected on a different level. And now, well . . . it feels like you’re pulling away, and I don’t know why. Did I do something wrong?”

“No. It’s just time to get to work.”

He’s acting so cold, as if yesterday meant nothing. I don’t get it. Was it because of his dream? Because he thought he hurt me?

“If you’re worried about last night, your dream—”

“Lilly, I said let’s get started.”

“You didn’t hurt me, Keller, see?” I show him my arms. “Totally fine.”

“Sit down, Lilly.”

“Or if you’re embarrassed, don’t be. I get night terrors too, it’s totally—”

“I said, SIT DOWN,” he shouts at me, his body now coiled with aggravation. “We’re not talking about last night, we’re not talking about my dream, and we’re not talking about anything other than what I have planned. So, take a seat, shut your mouth, and just listen.”

Oh.

No.

He.

Didn’t.





“He’s avoiding me, Lara,” I say as we walk around the back of the castle.

“How’s he avoiding you? He spent all morning in training with you.”

“Yeah, in the stuffy room again, droning on like a boring lecturer. It’s as if he locked up his personality. He’s distant. I can feel it in his voice, in his body language. Not to mention he was a total asshole to me—I mean, cream of the crop, ripe for the picking, grade-A asshole.” I lean in close to her and say, “He told me to shut my mouth five times. FIVE! It’s a stark contrast from the man who told me about burning King Theo’s penis with soup.”

“He told you that?” Lara asks.

“Yes, and I swear to God, do not tell him I just told you that.” I kick a loose rock on the ground. “Lara, he’s pulling away, and I thought we’d made such great progress last night. Can one bad dream really change that?”

“Depends,” Lara says. “If he felt you were getting too close, then, yes, that could change everything. Keller doesn’t let a lot of people into his life. It’s me, Brimar, and the king and queen. That’s it. No one else. And even on that small list, there are things he doesn’t tell us.”

“So am I just supposed to sit back and let him retreat?”

“That also depends.”

“Depends on what?” I ask.

“Your intentions with being here. If you’re truly thinking about staying here, I believe there’s some validity in you not letting him pull away, but if you’re unsure, if there’s a part of you that believes you’ll be returning to Miami, then you need to let him pull away. You need to let him put distance there because he’s doing it on purpose. He’s guarding himself. So, if you’re leaving at the end of this, let him guard himself.”

“Ugh, Lara, you’re a very smart woman, and that’s annoying.”

She chuckles. “I’m sorry.”

I take a seat on the grass and bring my legs to my chest. “You know, when I said yes to all this training, I thought it was going to be different. Little less lecture-y and a little more fun. But it’s just been one giant onslaught of information.”

Ding.

“What was that?” Lara asks.

“My phone. It’s a text message.” I look at the screen and see that it’s from Keller. Confused, I open the text thread.