Royally Not Ready(46)
“I do too,” I answer, allowing myself to open up for a moment. As much as I love my role in Torskethorpe, it often requires many long days. Few days off. And if I’m honest, when I lost my parents, I lost my people too. They’d always been my friends. It’s rare I open up to people, as there’s rarely any time to do so, and no one of consequence to talk with. I, therefore, keep my life full and rarely consider the loneliness associated with my job. But there have been times when it’s consumed me. “I’d rather not dream about them at all, because then I don’t wake up feeling like I have to live through the loss all over again.”
“Same,” she says. “At first, I clung to those dreams. I’d sleep more often than I should have, hoping for a connection with them, but then my dreams started becoming more and more vivid, and . . . well, I couldn’t take it anymore. Now I just hope to live with them through memories.”
“I understand the feeling completely.”
“I think you might be the only person who does . . . well, the only person I know.” She slips her fingers into my hand and I allow it because I know, in this moment, that’s what she needs. Hell, I need it too. I don’t talk about my parents, ever, so I’m venturing into new territories for her. “Is it weird to say talking about that with you makes me feel closer to you?”
“No. I feel the same way,” I answer.
“I’m glad.” She releases her hand from mine and I almost reach out to slip my hand in hers again, but we’ve already crossed the line a bit too much tonight. Holding her hand is not something I should be doing. “Okay, sorry for the depressing question. Let me ask you something that will liven up this Q and A. What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of King Theo?”
“Ah, hell,” I say, dragging my hand over my face.
“Come on.” She chuckles. “You have to tell me; it will make you look more human in my eyes. Right about now, you seem far too perfect, and that’s really annoying, so I need you to be self-deprecating. Thank you.”
“Where do I even begin?”
“Ooo, there’s more than one?”
“There’s far too many to count,” I answer. “Thankfully, Theo is a chill king and finds my blunders funnier than anything.”
“Well, give me the story that you wish you could erase from your memory.”
“It’s so fucking bad.” I shake my head.
“My mouth is watering. I need to know. Give me the juicy details.”
I press my hand over my eyes and say, “I’ll tell you, but I swear to God, Lilly, if you bring this up ever again, I will force-feed you fermented cod cakes for twenty-four hours straight.”
She shivers next to me and holds up her hand. “Promise, what you’re about to say will never be brought up again.”
“Better not be.” I prop myself up on my elbow and turn toward her so I can at least have a great view of her reaction to my utter misery. “I had this grand idea when I first became Theo’s private secretary that I should learn the ins and outs of every position in the palace so if I ever needed to fill in, I would be skilled enough to do so.”
“Is that why you sort of double as a bodyguard here?”
“Yes, I took extensive training with Brimar and Lara, but that’s required of me when I’m with King Theo. He has his bodyguards, but if something happens to them, I need to be able to step up without thinking twice. If I wasn’t Theo’s private secretary, I know I’d be working with Brimar and Lara on security detail. It’s in my blood to protect.”
“So you’ve said.” She winks. “So, you were training yourself . . .”
“Yes. I was doing quite well and learning a lot every week, going through different departments and learning their trade. I’ve acquired much knowledge by living in other people’s shoes, and I know it’s enhanced my skills tremendously, but it was a fateful Friday evening that it all happened. That Saturday, King Theo was hosting a state dinner, so I thought it was the perfect opportunity to learn to serve dinner.”
“Oh God, I feel like I can see where this is going.”
“Not sure you do,” I say before I push my hand through my hair. “Everything was going great. I was serving wine like a pro, the salad was easy to take care of, and it was all very smooth. That was . . . until we got to the soup.”
“Oh, no.” Lilly brings her legs up to her chest.
“One thing you need to know is that as a server, you need to hold one hand behind your back while you carry with the other. I practiced a lot and never had an issue, but that fucking soup bowl. It was fucking heavy. One of those massive plates, a foot in diameter, with a small scoop in the middle for a serving of soup. Well, I was carrying it with one hand from the kitchen to the dining room, which felt like a mile, and by the time I got to King Theo, my thumb was cramping. I tried to hurry, but before I could make it to the table, my thumb gave out, and the bowl fell from my hand and right into Theo’s lap.”
“Oh, God.” Lilly covers her eyes. “You spilled soup all over him?”
“I wish that was the worst part.”
She removes her hand. “That’s not the worst part?”
I shake my head. “No, the worst part was that the soup was still scalding hot, because that’s how Theo loved it. It scorched his lap to the point of blistering.”