Royally Not Ready(135)
“Very well. I set your shoes on the settee for you to put on. Your clutch is ready and I added the notes you like to keep in there as well.”
I feel my cheeks blush at the mention of Keller’s poems. I’ve carried them with me, wherever I go. Runa knows that when we change clutches, those change out as well.
“Thank you,” I say softly.
“I shall let Henrik in to go over your schedule while you put on your shoes.”
“Thank you.” We walk back into my bedroom together, but while Runa leaves, I walk over to the settee, where my light-blue heels are waiting for me.
I sit and reach for a shoe as the door opens again. Expecting to see Henrik, I smile and look up, only for my breath to be stolen from my lungs as Keller walks in. His imposing stature fills the room as he shuts the door behind him.
Wearing a black suit with a black shirt and black tie, he looks devastatingly handsome.
“K-Keller,” I say, sitting tall now. “What are you doing here?”
Not saying a word, he walks across the room and to the settee, where he sits next to me. The first thing I notice is the clarity in his eyes. The next thing I notice is how much bigger he seems, like his arms are about to burst out of his suit jacket. And the final thing is that delicious scent of his, a masculine cologne that clung to me when we were in Harrogate. It’s wrapping around me, gripping my heart like a vise.
“I’m here to talk to you about your day,” he says.
“Wh-what? Like you, uh, you got your job back?”
“Yes, I was reinstated last night.”
I gulp.
“So does that mean you’ll be—”
“By your side, every day, guiding you through your events? That would be correct.”
“Oh.” I swallow again. “Okay, well, that’s, uh, that’s a new development.”
“Would you prefer Henrik?”
“No, I mean . . . I don’t know,” I say, my mind a total mess. I let out a deep breath. “I don’t know what to think.”
“Am I free to speak outside of professional norms right now?”
“Of course,” I answer, feeling weird about the formality with him.
“Lilly, I need to apologize to you. What I did to you on the day of your welcoming parade was unforgivable. I was trying to solve a problem, trying to keep you safe, and trying to avoid these damaging thoughts in my head. I quickly realized my behavior, my way of handling everything, did nothing but steal you from me. And I lost the best thing that’s ever happened in my life. It’s unforgivable, I realize that, but what I’m hoping is that you can allow me to make it up to you, to show you.”
“Is that what you’ve been doing with those poems? With the squeezes to my hand?”
“Love poetry dates back to our ancestors, a form to show a woman what they meant to the poet. I lost my ability to speak with you and I had to earn that back, therefore I wrote to you. I wrote every night. I thought of your bewitching eyes, your courageous heart, and your gracious soul. And I dreamed of what I’d say to you if I ever got the chance.”
“And what would you say to me?” I ask, my skin prickling, my heart pounding, my need for him so strong that I’m surprised I’ve been able to keep myself together.
“That if you give me another chance, if you allow me back in your life, I promise you, till my dying day, I’ll spend it keeping your heart close to mine and showing you how much you’re meant to be mine.” He reaches out and takes my hand in his. “I’m not asking for forgiveness. I’m asking for the chance to prove to you my undying love.” And then he squeezes my hand three times, causing a tear to cascade down my cheek.
I look at him and say, “I don’t want to do this without you, Keller.” Hope springs in his eyes. “The last couple of weeks have been dreadful. The best part of them was when I saw you. You hurt me, but it hurts worse not being with you.” I move off the settee and straddle his lap. His hands fall to my waist, and as I run my hands up his chest, I can feel the rapid beat of his heart. “I need you to promise me you’re mine and that you won’t ever abandon me again. Don’t lie to me. I need you, Keller, by my side.”
“I promise you, love,” he says softly, his hands smoothing up my sides. “Nothing is more important than you and me, than us.”
That puts a smile on my face, and as I lean closer to him, I cup his cheeks and look him in the eyes. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“Fuck, Lilly. I’ve been a wreck without you. And watching you from a distance, reading about you in the paper, seeing the reactions from everyone in Torskethorpe made me so goddamn proud. I hated myself for not being there with you and sharing your accomplishments.”
“But you’re here now.”
“And I’m not going anywhere.”
I lower my mouth to his and one of his hands moves to the back of my head, his fingers tangling through my wavy locks.
“I love you,” I say.
“I love you, Lilly,” he replies right before our lips collide.
Desperate, our kiss sears through me, reminding me how much this man owns me, every inch of me. As if I haven’t been able to breathe the last couple of weeks, he fills my lungs with life, reclaiming what’s his.
I melt into his embrace as he wraps me up tightly. His slow, drugging kisses are just what I need in this moment, and when I swipe my tongue over his lips, he parts them, letting me in. Our tongues tangle, our breath mixes, and before I know what’s happening, his hand is up my dress and my hand is trying to unbutton his shirt.