Roommate Arrangement (Divorced Men's Club #1)(50)

“Is he a teenager?” I ask, trying to hold back the jealousy that rears up at hearing that. “Did you let him?”

“Believe it or not, that one I could say no to.” Beau taps his fingers on his thigh. “Still, trying to convince him not here wasn’t code for let’s go to your car and make out wasn’t easy.” He meets my stare. “You’re right. I need to get better at telling people no.”

“You do.”

“Starting now.”

I groan. “You’re not supposed to use this new superpower on me.” But even though I joke, it feels sort of good to know that I’m one of the few people Beau is comfortable enough around to do it.

“I’m not going to let you tell me what’s good for me. I don’t care if it’s a rebound thing for you, but sex is on the table. You want it, you take it. We’re both single. We both like each other. I promise it won’t get messy, because I’ve had these feelings for a long time, and I’ve kept them in check.”

“But—”

“Nope. You’re not in charge of the way I feel. That’s up to me. And the way I feel is that I’d like to see your cock again. Many times. Maybe we even send a video to your ex of us going at it. And I wish I could say that was a joke, but I know how much it’d piss him off that I got to sleep with you when he knew about my crush the whole time.”

My eyebrows shoot up. “He did?”

“He did.” Beau grins cheekily. “And he hated it.”

“Like he had ground to stand on.”

“Right?”

We fall silent as I think about what Beau is offering. Hot sex, no expectations. But I can’t trust his assurance that he won’t get hurt. That’s not something he can control.

“I just don’t—”

Beau holds up his hand. “Don’t answer right now. You don’t actually need to give me an answer at all. Just know that if one day you decide you want to fuck me, I’m here.”

“Fucking hell …”

He shuffles closer, blue eyes bright. “Now that’s out of the way, can you teach me how to make those paper cranes?”

The question is so unexpected that I immediately agree. And that’s how we spend our Saturday. Last night forgotten, both of us ignoring our phones, and going through almost a whole pad of Post-it notes until the living room is covered with bright yellow paper birds.

It’s peaceful, and maybe this is what Art meant about taking my time. Instead of fighting the nerves that hit every time our eyes meet, I embrace them. I let myself have fun and get close to him. I could listen to him talk for days.

Beau finishes the crane he’s folding and sends it sailing my way. I snatch it carefully from the air and inspect his work, finding there, on the wing, a sneaky little love heart.

My gut gives a tiny flip, and a smile shoots across my face.

We both pretend not to notice.





20





Beau


My body has tripped back to kinda nocturnal but mostly fucked-up mode, so after the weekend, I barely see Payne. I’m up and down through the night and day and end up crashing hard over the afternoon when he’s home.

It sets me on edge because after our talk, things feel fragile between us.

When I wake up after midnight on Wednesday … well, Thursday, I guess, I find Payne passed out on the couch. His mouth is hanging open, and his light brown hair is splayed across his face and the cushion he’s lying on. He looks adorable.

And also, ridiculously uncomfortable.

I creep over and kneel in front of him before brushing the hair back off his forehead. He makes me feel so soft and happy, but I meant what I told him. If we keep hooking up, I’d never expect it to lead to more. I can be his rebound and die happy with that.

“Payne?”

He grunts, snuffles a little, and turns his face into my palm.

“Payne?”

“Wha’s happening … huh?” He jolts awake, eyes unfocused as he blinks my face into view. “Bo-Bo. I missed you.” His voice is heavy with sleep, and I’m not convinced he’s fully awake, but I want to bottle his words. They’re like sunshine.

“I missed you too, man. But it’s late, and you have to be up early.”

He yawns widely and checks the time on his phone with one eye squeezed closed. “Fuck, I must have drifted off. I tried waiting up.”

I peck him on the nose, just because I want to, then grab his hands and help haul him to his feet. “Bedtime for you.”

“K.” But before I can let him go, he closes his arms around me and pulls me close. “Night, Bo-Bo.”

I can still feel him even after he releases me and staggers down the hall.

My heart swells.

But I’m sure he’s going to kill me with wanting.

How, how did Kyle give that man up?

If I ever see him again, I’m going to make sure he remembers exactly what he’s missing.

I try to stay awake until six so I can see Payne before he leaves for work, but by four, I’m exhausted. I crash, and when I’m up again, he’s long gone. At least it’ll be the weekend soon and I will finally get to see him again, because him saying he misses me makes me miss him more.

I’m still foggy with sleep when I stumble into the kitchen and grab my morning mug from the cupboard, so it takes me a second to register what I’m seeing.