Roommate Arrangement (Divorced Men's Club #1)(49)

And kissing Beau right now, as hot as it would be, would be beyond selfish.

I can’t hurt him.

So instead of closing the few inches between our lips, I say, “I thought you were going to bed.”

His nose brushes mine. “Join me.”

“Beau …”

The tip of his tongue darts out and swipes my lip. “It’s okay. No feelings.”

And him saying that at all proves it’s bullshit.

“No.”

Beau jerks back, and the hurt that flashes across his face gets me right in the chest. He eyes me for a moment, then turns around, stalks into his room, and slams the door behind him.





If I’m hoping the next morning that everything will be forgotten about like it was last weekend, I’m very, very wrong. The moment I walk into the kitchen, Beau walks out of it without even a good-morning.

Well, fuck me. I knew I was going to screw this up at some point.

My head is too dusty to deal with this shit.

I make a coffee, then go and join him in the living room. “Can I sit?” I ask, nodding to the place next to him on the couch.

His feet bounce, so he definitely heard me, but his lack of answer doesn’t seem good.

I sit anyway, keeping more distance between us than I normally would. “I’m sorry.”

“For?” he asks like he can’t stop himself.

“For being a dick to your date.”

“Whose name is …”

I huff. “Lee. His name is Lee.”

Beau’s lips twitch, and fucking hell the relief that flows through me is intense. “Is that all you’re sorry for?”

“Okay, full disclosure …” I scoot closer. “I’m not actually sorry for that. I don’t like him, he’s not good enough for you, and if we relived last night, I’d probably do it again.”

“Then—”

“I’m sorry for the stuff that came after. Outside your room. Almost kissing you.”

His inhale is sharp and loud. “You … that was …”

I wait him out.

“I wasn’t sure what that was.”

I give him a sad smile. “That was me not being fair to you.”

“What do you mean?”

“You made how you feel clear, and I’ll admit when I look at you, I …” Fuck, I don’t even know how to say it. “I think you’re gorgeous, and I think you’re amazing, but I don’t know where I’m at. It’s not fair of me to lead you on.”

“When did you lead me on?”

Is he not listening? “Last night.”

“No, you already told me where you were at. You don’t want a relationship—that’s fair after what you’ve been through. But you said you still want to hook up. Why can’t we do that?”

“Because it might hurt you.”

“And I can’t decide that?” He turns to me fully, drawing one leg up underneath him. “You’re the one who said last night that I need to be more assertive, so how’s this for assertiveness? I wanted you to kiss me. And then I would have dragged you inside my room, stripped you naked, swallowed your cock, and had you fuck me into the mattress. And this morning when I woke up, I would have felt incredible and had no regrets. You want to know how I woke up instead?”

I’m gaping at him, unable to answer after what just came out of his damn mouth.

“Instead, I woke up feeling like shit for pretending I liked when Lee kissed me and worried that I scared you off instead.”

There’s so much there to break down, but all I can focus on is “You … didn’t like it?”

“He backed me into the door and kissed me before I knew what was happening. Thank fuck you opened it.”

“Asshole,” I snarl. “So, why did you pretend you liked it, then?”

“To try and make you jealous, but after everything you’ve been through, I never should have done it. I feel terrible.”

I get what he’s saying, but even while trying to make me jealous, he was so … uncommitted to it. He just admitted that he was one hundred percent ready to take me to bed, and when I look at Beau, all I can see is a man so steadfast in his … whatever he thinks of me. And even with his terrible attempt at making me jealous, he feels bad.

Beau is a good guy. A seriously good, pure guy.

And it’s just occurring to me now exactly how far out of my league he is.

I laugh into my hands. “So you’re not going to see him again?”

“Nope. I already sent him a text thanking him for the date but making it clear I wasn’t after another one.”

“Well done.”

“No need to sound so smug.”

“Sorry, but …” I rub my chin. “I don’t know why everyone thought it would work.”

“To be fair, he didn’t sound douchey at all with his texts. And the things that annoyed me probably never would have come up with anyone else.”

“I knew he wasn’t good enough for you.”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

“Seriously. A gold pin. On his blazer.”

“He only tipped ten percent too. After whining all night about poor service …” Beau trails off. “The date was horrible. He tried to give me a handie in the theatre.”