Rome (Marked Men, #3)(56)

“I was there, Cora. I‘m the one who saw the reaction, the one they ignored and abandoned when they found out about Remy. Trust me, the Archer boys do not like surprises.”

I sighed and blew my bangs off my forehead. “Look, Rule sleeps at night. Yeah, he had a hard time of it there for a while but mostly he has handled his grief and the role Remy played in it. Rome hasn’t. He is sinking in a mire of ‘what-if’ and ‘what-now’; if I can throw him a lifeline I’m going to, with or without your help.”

She tapped her fingernails on the table and we stared at each other steadily. “I’ve known those boys a lot longer than you, Cora. Trust me: it isn’t an idea that either of them will welcome, not to mention the tailspin it might send Margot into. It will just open old wounds and hurt. I have no interest in doing that to Rule or to Rome.”

I shook my head at her. “You knew the Rome that he was before he found out his little brother had a secret life and his other little brother didn’t need him anymore because he found the love of his life. This Rome, Shaw … you don’t even have a clue what’s going on with him. I’m sorry but it’s true. He’s a different man now. He needs this.”

I didn’t mean for it to sound so harsh but it was true. Granted, Rome had a knack for keeping people at bay and hiding all the things he was constantly struggling with behind a glower and a snide attitude, but I knew if anyone bothered to look closely, they could see how he was fractured in his heartbreaking, blue gaze. I would move every mountain in the Front Range to give him this. Besides, this kid was going to have every kind of family I never did, even if it meant I had to rattle the Archer family foundation to do it.

“I love him, Cora. He’s my family and I don’t want to hurt him.”

“He needs closure, he told me he doesn’t know how to let it go, Shaw, and none of us can provide it or help him with it. I think Rule would benefit from having some answers that make sense as well, but he’s yours to worry about; big brother is all mine.”

He was mine. Every towering, unpredictable, floundering inch of him was mine, and I was going to do whatever it took in order to make things better for him. I took care of my friends because I wanted them to live the best life possible. I was going to take care of Rome because it did something to me on a fundamental level to see him struggle, to see him hurting. I felt like if I could put him at the slightest of ease, it would be the most rewarding gift I had ever given anyone. Plus he deserved it. He was a good man. He had earned someone working to make his world a better place for once instead of the other way around.

She opened her mouth to continue her side of the argument but was interrupted by my phone going off. I had set Rome’s ring tone to Creedence because he was such a classic kind of guy and it always made me smile to see his grim mug looking up at me from the screen. He would laugh if he knew CCR played “Fortunate Son” every time he called me, especially since I preferred girl rock bands as a rule.

“What’s up?” He had seemed pretty committed to spending the day with Rule and hashing out some of their issues, so I was surprised to be hearing from him.

“Can you meet me at the Bar as soon as you can?”

He sounded stressed out and was talking really fast. I frowned and motioned for Shaw to get the bill so I could go.

“Yeah. What’s going on?”

“The place got robbed.”

I felt my eyes go big and I understood the underlying panic in his tone. He was really close to Brite, the owner of the bar, and if something had happened to the older guy, it wasn’t going to be pretty for Rome. He needed me to keep him grounded; I knew it even if he didn’t say it. He was asking for help and my heart turned over in my chest.

“I’ll be there in ten.”

I felt him release a breath and he sounded less anxious when he spoke again.

“Asa called me, the cops are already there. I don’t know anything else.”

I frowned and stood as Shaw signed for the bill.

“Who would rob a dive bar on a Sunday in broad daylight?”

“I don’t know. But I sure as f*ck don’t like it.”

I nodded even though he couldn’t see me. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Thanks, Half-Pint.”

“Anytime, Captain No-Fun.”

Shaw followed me as I hurried out of the restaurant. I was practically running to the Cooper when she stopped me with a hand on my elbow. Her eyes were still big and unsure, but now there was a different kind of understanding shining out of them.

“Are you in love with him, Cora?”

I didn’t know how to answer that, so I just stared at her for a minute. It was a question I was actively avoiding asking myself every day. The answer scared me because if I was in love with him and he bailed on me again, there was no way I would be able to forgive him for that and now our futures were inexorably linked through the child I was carrying, so that wasn’t a viable option. If I kept my feelings in check, denied how important he was, if he broke apart on me again, I could still move past it and not fall apart like I had before. My kid deserved a parent who was always going to be present in every way possible.

“I’m having his kid, Shaw.”

“But do you love him?” Damn, she could be persistent when she wanted to.

“I don’t know. Last time I loved someone he nearly destroyed me and that didn’t feel half as intense or as important as this thing with Rome does. I think loving him could be the end of me if it doesn’t work out.”