Rising (Blue Phoenix, #4)(45)

Hurt him?

I slide down the wall, cheek scraping along the bricks and crumple to the paved ground. Instinctively, I cover my head. He has a pattern. My ribs will take the next beating. Then my head. If I know what’s coming I can tick them off the list in my mind until it’s finished.

When Dan kicks me in the side, all I can think is I’m glad he’s wearing trainers. The pain radiates along my ribs and I clench my teeth, refusing to cry out.

I won’t fight back.

I’ll wait.

My response to the kicking isn’t enough; Dan stops, kneels on the floor, and pushes his hands around my neck. This isn’t his usual order of attack. My head spins through pain and lack of oxygen; above me, Dan’s face is a darkened mask and his hollow eyes are disengaged.

“Dan. You’re leaving marks. People will know,” I gasp, putting my hands over his.

“Like I f-ucking care.” He lets go and hits my face, open palmed against my injured cheek and I wince, tears forcing their way into my eyes. “This is over. If we’re over, then you’re over.” His voice echoes, distant in my sky.

I attempt to pull back from the stars. Dan’s threat is real. The ferocity of his attack is uncontrolled. We’re not hidden at his house. This is in public but he’s launching a harder punishment than he ever has before, anybody could see and he doesn’t care.

Dan grabs my t-shirt and drags me into a sitting position. Squatting down so his face is against mine, he speaks. I don’t hear or respond and my teeth jar as he shakes me, the pain in my head intense. Another smack in the face and my lip stings as the skin splits.

He lets go and I slump back to the ground. “You hit my head too much,” I mumble. “I won’t be conscious. You want to do this when it hurts me.”

Dan pauses, and my heart thumps in my ears as I struggle for energy to get away from him. My heavy head won’t coordinate my body and all I want to do is lie here and wait for this to be over. Will I ever escape him? Or does this end now? When I was a little girl, monsters in the dark never scared me. When I grew up, I learned the worst are the ones who live in the bright part of my life. They trick. They lie. They hurt.

“Jesus f-ucking Christ!” A voice yells in the distant dark and the face of the monster who’s eaten away at my life is gone, as Dan reels sideways. A third person is with us and the two figures land on the ground beside me.

I roll onto my side and attempt to focus through the dim of the world. A man kneels on Dan’s chest and lifts his arm, thumping Dan so hard I hear the crack of bone. The fear trembles through my body; I vomit, the familiar metallic taste of blood on my lips. The second man remains on top of Dan, pinning him down with a knee on Dan’s throat. He turns to me, but I already know who it is.

“Ruby, are you okay?”

Jem. Words won’t come as I struggle to stay in the reality I was trying to push away.

“Ruby!” he repeats more urgently.

Dan shifts, struggling against Jem. “You piece of f-ucking shit!” Jem snarls. “What the f-uck have you done to her?” Jem grabs Dan by the shirt and drags his face toward him. “I should f-ucking kill you.”

The world is sideways, everything at the wrong angle and I’m unsure it’ll ever be upright again. Throwing Dan back again, Jem rains blows with a ferocity to match that of Dan to me a few minutes ago. Dan has his face covered against Jem’s fists and I want to yell stop, but I don’t; a vengeful part wants Dan to feel some of the hurt he caused me. I watch as Dan weakens, not fighting back. Not once. He lies and takes the attack the way I did for so many months.

Closing my eyes, I smile at the stars and my brother who’s by the second star to the right. My Peter Pan who’ll never grow up now and never be in my life again.

Now I have Jem Jones, the man who doesn’t want to take care of or protect me as my rescuer. And I bet he f-ucking hates it.



****



Jem



Ruby’s face is a mess.

I’m a mess.

Why am I involved?

Guilt took me to meet Ruby after work tonight, I wanted to persuade her to come back to the studio tomorrow. I feel like shit about what I did to her last night, and I’ve battled with the chaos of thoughts in my head. If she meant nothing, I wouldn’t have stopped at a kiss because the physical satisfaction of sex with her would’ve been my goal. The problem is, in a screwed up way, the jolt of life to my emotions led me to hurt her because I didn’t want to hurt her. I don’t understand my own logic.

Ruby had left work by the time I arrived at the café and I’ve no idea what made me scout around in case she was nearby but I did. I’m f-ucking glad fate sent me there.

I’ve been involved in a fair few fights in my time and spent too many years solving arguments with my fists, but what I witnessed when I walked around the corner is beyond anything I’ve seen.

Time stopped when Ruby didn’t reply, the fear for her safety intensifying my need to smash the f*cker’s face in.

How can anybody do that to a woman? Or anybody? He behaved like a f-ucking animal so I treated him like one. When I realised I might’ve seriously injured him, I didn’t give a shit; a raw anger had me gripped out of control. I wanted to kill him. Only now do I realise how lucky I am I stopped. For a couple of minutes I was sure I had killed him; he didn’t move or make a sound when I held the trembling Ruby in my arms. The fury intensified as I sat on the ground with her, not knowing what the f-uck to do next.