Right Man, Right Time (The Vancouver Agitators, #3)(93)

My phone dings with a response.

Ollie: I’m not there. Ross and I took off for the weekend.

What?

Fuck.

Silas: When do you get home?

Ollie: Late Sunday.

I rub my hand over my forehead and swear under my breath.

Silas: We leave for some away games on Sunday.

Ollie: Oh. Okay . . . well, do you need me?

Yes.

I need you here, so I can speak to you in person, so I can work out these tumultuous feelings buzzing inside me.

Silas: No, I guess not.

Ollie: Cool. Well good luck on the away trip.

I study her text, and I wonder what the fuck is going on. She’s acting like nothing happened between us over the past few weeks—like I’m a mere acquaintance—yet she was determined she wanted more. What, now she doesn’t? I don’t know how to handle that.

I consider asking Posey, but I think we all know how that went last time. I need to get this off my chest. I need to talk it through, and even though I don’t want to tell anyone else my issue, I know I probably don’t have a choice. Not if I want my head on straight for the game.

I pull out of the parking lot and head for Pacey’s place.





“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Pacey asks as he stands in his doorway, wearing nothing but a pair of boxer briefs.

I know exactly what he was planning on doing. It’s what we all like to do after a game, when the adrenaline is still coursing through us. And I interrupted him.

“I’m sorry, man. But I really need to talk.”

He must notice the slump in my shoulders and the defeat in my voice because his harsh expression softens, and he lets me in.

I kick off my shoes, and just as I look up, Winnie appears in a robe, her hair slightly messy.

Hell, I really did interrupt them.

“Sorry, Winnie,” I say. “I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”

“It’s okay,” she says softly. “What’s going on?”

I pull on the back of my neck. “I need some advice.”

“Okay, sure. Do you want me to get you a drink?”

“Nah, I’m good.”

“Well then, come sit down.”

We all take a seat in their living room. Winnie sits on Pacey’s lap, and he loops his arm around her like the happy little couple that they are.

“What’s going on?” Pacey asks. “Everything okay with Ollie?”

“Not really,” I say and let out a deep breath. “Uh . . . Ollie and I aren’t really together.”

“What are you talking about?” Winnie asks.

“It was all fake. We met at a bar. She needed me, and I needed her, so we formed an agreement. Since Sarah started working at the Agitators, I thought it would be easier to pretend I was with someone than have you fuckers constantly ask how I’m doing, or have Sarah assume she could get back together with me.”

“Jesus,” Pacey mutters.

“Anyway, as you probably can see what’s coming, I developed feelings for Ollie, and she developed feelings for me.”

“Well, that’s a good thing,” Winnie says with a bright smile.

“It is when you have your head on straight. Unfortunately, that’s not me, and I’ve been pushing her away. I’m just so fucked up from Sarah that I haven’t been able to get over the feeling of distrust. All Ollie wants is for me to give her a piece of me, and I haven’t been able to. And now . . . well, I think she’s pulling away. She took off for the weekend, and I won’t see her until we get back from our away trip. I feel like that’s too goddamn long, and I don’t know what to fucking do.”

Pacey nods. “You like her, yeah?”

“Yeah,” I answer. “And I fucking shouldn’t. I mean, Jesus Christ, she’s still in college. We’re clearly in completely different phases of our life, but I can’t stop thinking about her. I want so much more when I’m around her, but my brain won’t let me. It’s like there’s a mental block up there.”

“Maybe because you never talked about what happened with Sarah,” Pacey says quietly. “And I’m not asking you to tell us, but dude, how can you move on if you’ve never dealt with what put you in this headspace to begin with?”

“He’s right,” Winnie says softly. “It’s not easy moving on from any kind of heartbreak, especially if you keep it inside you and never let it free.”

“I know this, yet I’m so fucked up that I can’t seem to get myself to talk about it.”

“Are you afraid you’re going to be judged?” Pacey asks.

“Maybe. I also don’t want to revisit it. I mean, fuck, Pacey, I was going to propose to her.”

“I know, man,” he says. “But it might be good to get it off your chest.”

“Have you told Ollie everything that happened?” Winnie asks.

I shake my head. “I haven’t told anyone.”

“Maybe you should tell her,” Winnie suggests.

“That would mean that I’m committing myself to her.”

“Isn’t that what you want?” Pacey asks.

“I mean, I want her, but I . . .” I swallow hard. “I just don’t think I’m good enough. I don’t think I’ll be what she needs. And then what? I end up in the same position I’m in now? And she’s going places. She has a future in front of her. I’m not going to thwart that with the restrictions of hockey life.”