Reluctantly Yours(62)

“Do you want to know why I laughed at dinner when you said you wanted to eat me?” I ask.

“Yes.” His gaze is intent on my face.

“Because I was nervous.”

“You thought that I was…” Barrett’s expression moves from confusion to concern. “I would never force myself on you. On any woman. Which maybe doesn’t ring true with the fact that you are reluctantly pretending to be my girlfriend for a business deal, but I would never physically force myself on you.”

“I believe you. That’s not what I was nervous about.”

“Okay. What was it?” he asks.

“I’ve never done that before,” I admit.

“Had sex?” His deep voice makes his words carry and I glance around in a panic.

“You are so loud right now!”

“You’re the one yelling.”

“No. Not sex,” I whisper. “I’m not a virgin. I’ve had sex before. The other stuff. It kind of got skipped over.”

I wait until it clicks into place.

“Oral sex.”

“Stop saying sex.”

He nods, studying me for a beat before leaning closer. He almost looks angry. “It sounds like you’ve been fucking idiots who only cared about getting their dicks wet.”

“Two idiots. That’s how many I’ve had sex with.”

Barrett nods but doesn’t say anything else. I don’t know what I expect him to say. I’m dying to know how many women he’s slept with but also not because the thought of him with another woman kind of makes me want to throw up. That could also be the wine swirling around in my stomach.

His silence on the subject of my inexperience makes me paranoid. Does he think it’s weird?

“The fact that no one has tasted you is a real shame, but it’s a mistake I don’t plan on making. The thought of it turns me on even more.”

My eyes widen at Barrett’s statement. It’s both thrilling and nerve wracking.

“Really?” I ask.

“Yes.”

With one hand cupping my jaw, Barrett presses his lips to mine.

His phone starts ringing the second our lips connect.

He curses, pulling away to take his phone out of his pocket. I want to throw his phone in the bushes and beg him to put his lips back on mine. Maybe I’ll put that on my list.

“Hello?” he answers, his tone clipped, but then it softens. “What?” When his gaze returns to me, his eyes are wide. “Okay, we’re on our way.”

“What’s going on?” I ask as Barrett’s large hands encircle my waist to lift me off the ledge. He takes my hand and leads me through the winery’s yard, around the side and out front.

“Barrett. What’s happening?”

“It’s Baxter. When Lucy took him outside, fireworks started going off at a neighbor’s house and he got scared. He ran off. She can’t find him.”

My heart sinks.

“Oh my God. I’m a terrible dog mom. I should have known he would be frightened. He hates storms, of course he’s going to hate fireworks. What was I thinking?! Now he’s out there somewhere alone and scared. What if he gets hurt? What if we don’t find him? What if—”

Barrett pulls me in close.

“We’re going to find him.” He says it matter-of-factly. “I’ll employ a full-time search and rescue team if I have to.”

“You’d do that? For Baxter?” I ask with tears in my eyes. Distraught that Baxter is missing, but with Barrett’s words, I’m feeling more hopeful that he’ll return safely.

“I’d do it for you. Because you love Baxter and I…” He pauses, looking down at me, “well, you’re my girlfriend. It only makes sense that I would use any means to make you happy.”

Right. It’s all about appearances. If we were really together and Barrett truly cared about me, finding Baxter would be top priority. That’s what he means. He’s got to play his part in this.

The car pulls up as the first whistle of a firework ascends into the night sky and bursts open brilliant red.

“We better hurry.” Barrett ushers me in. We keep our eyes out the windows on the drive home, but it’s dark and hard to see much.

When we arrive at the house, Lucy opens the door in a panic.

“I’m so sorry!” she says, her face full of guilt. “I took him outside and when the neighbors started setting off fireworks, he ran.”

I don’t even know where to begin the search, but Barrett already has a plan.

“It’s okay, Lucy, we’ll find him.” She nods, seemingly calmed by Barrett’s determination, just like I was. “You stay here in case he shows up. Chloe, you go with Mac in the car. Drive toward town, he might have wandered that way to get away from the sounds. I’m going out back, into the wooded area.”

He requests a flashlight from Lucy, who hurries to grab one from the pantry.

“Call me if you find him, and I’ll do the same,” he tells me before rushing out the back door.

Out front I hop into the car and ask Fred’s driver, Mac, to drive toward town. He keeps a slow pace, an easy thing to do with no traffic, it being a holiday and the fireworks display still popping off in the distance. While it comforts me that there aren’t many cars on the road, which could pose a threat to a frightened dog running around, it also means there’s no one to ask if they’ve seen Baxter.