Reluctantly Yours(59)

“You’re going to give me a complex.”

“Because of your huge hands?” She laughs. “They’re huge compared to mine but they’re proportionate to your body.”

She doesn’t have to say what she means, it’s implied. It’s convenient I have these large hands to fit around other large parts of my body. Looking up to find Chloe watching me in the shower this morning has been at the forefront of my mind all day.

“I’ve always loved books and reading. When I found out there was an actual career where I could read books for a living, I majored in English literature and set my sights on New York.”

“And you enjoy working at St. Clair Press? With my mother?”

“Your mother, of course. She’s amazing. I’ve learned so much from her.” Chloe stares at her glass of wine before returning my gaze. “I wouldn’t be doing this if it didn’t matter that much to me. It’s not just a job. I love reading stories that the author has poured their heart and soul into with the hopes that it will connect with someone. And when I connect with it and pass it along to JoAnna or an assistant editor, then I feel like I get to share in that effort of putting their story out in the world.”

I expected Chloe to be passionate about her career, but hearing her talk about it like that makes something inside of me crack open. Yes, Chloe made an error in judgment by hosting that party at my mother’s apartment, but I’m the guy who’s been holding her feet to the fire. Making her believe that her career aspirations, of being an editor and helping bring amazing stories into the world, could disappear in an instant.

I’ve been so focused on Fred that I haven’t seen it from her perspective. I haven’t thought about the hours she might spend worrying about what she’ll do if my mother finds out.

I watch Chloe dab at the corner of her eye, then take a sip of wine.

“Favorite book?”

She laughs. “Impossible to choose.”

“Fine. What genre do you prefer?”

“You can’t make fun of me.”

“I will not make fun of you.” I make an x over my heart.

“I love a good psychological thriller, but I also enjoy romance.”

“Why was that so hard?” I ask.

“I feel like you’re judging me.”

“How so?”

“You’re like oh, look at Chloe, she’s super inexperienced so she reads romance novels to help her with guys.”

“That is not what I was thinking at all.” I pause for a beat. “How inexperienced are we talking?”

She shakes her head. “Forget I said that.”

I smile at her. I want to know more. I want to know everything. But, I can tell it makes Chloe nervous and I don’t want her to retreat.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asks.

“You told me I should smile more. You put it on your list.”

She purses her lips. Those sweet, kissable lips. “It feels like you’re teasing me.”

“I’m making conversation.”

“Ah, I was confused. That’s not your usual approach.” She finishes off the Chardonnay in her glass. “You like silence so you can study people and make them squirm. I’m surprised you haven’t used that tactic on Fred yet.”

“It’s a unique situation with Fred. He eventually needs to sell, but he’s got enough time and assets to not be forced into anything.”

“I don’t know how any of this works, but if you close the deal—”

“When I close the deal.”

“Okay, when you close the deal with Fred, what does that mean? Is your company the best or something?”

“It already is the best.”

“So, you don’t need Voltaire to make SCM the top media company but you want it anyway because…”

“My Uncle Leo, my dad’s brother, ran the company when my dad died. He’s a nice guy, charming in fact.”

“You two are related?” She lifts her brows.

“Very funny.” I smirk. “Uncle Leo’s too nice. He wasn’t cut out for business and it showed when the company lost millions of dollars under his leadership.”

“So, you’re in charge now.”

I nod. “The last seven years have been about returning the company to where it was when my father died.”

“I don’t know anything about business, but is there a point when you’re happy with it? That you know your father would be proud of where you’ve taken his company and you don’t have to work eighty hours a week?” Chloe asks, elbow on the table, chin in her hand. She’s waiting for my answer with interest.

I open my mouth to answer, but I don’t know what to say. Under my management, SCM is now the top media company in the country, top five in the world. During my time as CEO, we’ve acquired hundreds of millions of dollars in assets. My company, the company my father started forty years ago, is now worth billions. Chloe’s question strikes a chord. When is it enough? When have I reached my goal? I’ve been working non-stop for seven years, killing myself to reach a goal that’s a moving target. There’s no end. Everything has become so much of a habit that I haven’t been paying attention to the reason anymore.