Reluctantly Home(15)

By the time she wheeled the bike into the farmyard, she was buzzing. She looked to see if the light was on in the kitchen. If her mother wasn’t in there, then it would be child’s play to sneak the diary in without anyone noticing. But of course the light was on, warm and welcoming. Briefly she considered leaving the plastic bag with the bike and going back to retrieve it later, but who was going to be interested in whatever she was carrying? She tucked the bag under her arm and headed into the warmth of the kitchen.

‘Hi, Mum,’ she called as she opened the back door.

‘There you are at last,’ replied her mother, her voice a little strained and unnaturally bright. ‘You’ve got a visitor.’

Pip peered past her mother and saw the broad back of a dark-haired man in a smartly cut suit sitting at the table. It was Dominic, and Pip was surprised to find herself mildly irritated that he should have shown up unannounced and spoiled her date with the diary.

But that wasn’t right. She was supposed to be delighted he was here, and she was really, she told herself. It was just that she hadn’t been expecting him. The shock of it had thrown her and she wasn’t good with surprises any more. Finally, she got to the place where she should have been at the outset: pleased to see him.

‘Dominic!’ she squealed. She dropped her handbag and the diary on the dresser and almost ran the short distance across the kitchen with her arms open wide. ‘What are you doing here? I didn’t know you were coming up this weekend. You never said. But it’s lovely to see you,’ she added breathlessly, just in case there was any doubt.

Dominic stood up and, opening his own arms to greet her, smiled.

‘Surprise!’ he said, and Pip pushed herself against his torso and buried her face into his lapel, the citrusy scent of his aftershave putting her in touch with a part of herself that had, until that second, felt vague and blurred. She felt his arms close round her, but there was no accompanying squeeze. Immediately she felt wary, anxiety rising in her like cold, dank floodwater.

‘That party in Bristol was cancelled,’ explained Dominic. ‘So, as I had some unexpected time on my hands, I thought I’d pop up here. I hope that’s all right with you.’

‘Of course,’ Pip replied as she tried to push her own doubts away. It was fine, she told herself. Everything was fine.

‘And I’m sorry to descend on you with no notice, Rachel,’ Dominic added, turning to her mother.

Her mother waved a hand dismissively, as if an additional person at the farm was not even worthy of mention, but Pip knew she would be fretting about the contents of her fridge and how she could transform it into a meal of the appropriate standard for her sophisticated house guest. She would be worrying about the state of the sheets, too. The Appleby family really didn’t deal well with impromptu.

‘Supper won’t be for an hour, though,’ her mother said, ‘so why don’t you two go and make yourselves comfortable in the snug and I’ll bring you a drink through in a few minutes.’

Pip released Dominic and held him at arm’s length whilst she considered him. His hair was slightly longer than usual. He must have missed his barber’s appointments without her to nag him to go, but apart from that he looked just the same; a little more tired, perhaps.

She found his hand with hers and pulled him out of the kitchen and away from her mother. She felt him following behind her as they made their way down the dark corridor to the snug. A cheery fire was burning in the grate, as it did most days, no matter what the season. The farm’s old tomcat was stretched out luxuriously on the hearth rug and didn’t stir as the two of them entered the room,

Pip pulled Dominic down on to the sofa and leaned in to kiss him. He kissed her back, but with a chaste little peck rather than anything more passionate. He perhaps felt a little awkward, being not much more than a stranger here, Pip thought. And they hadn’t seen each other for a while. They would need to reconnect, but there would be plenty of time to relax. They had the whole weekend ahead of them.

‘So, Rose,’ he said. ‘How are you doing? You still surviving up here in the arse end of nowhere?’

It was strange to hear her London name used here in Suffolk now. It was already starting to jar in her ears.

‘It’s bearable – just,’ she said. ‘But I think I’m getting there. I mean, no huge leaps or anything. It’s a slow process, but I do think I’m a bit better.’

Was this true? She wasn’t sure, but she knew it was what he wanted to hear. He was impatient for improvement, and so she needed to feed him something.

‘But enough about me,’ she added. ‘What’s going on at home? What’s the gossip? God, I wish I’d known you were coming. You could have brought me some different underwear. And shoes now it’s getting a bit warmer. I’ve only got boots here. It’s so weird to have all my things in London and me stuck . . .’

Her sentence trickled to an end and he let it, without attempting to address any of her questions. Something wasn’t right here, but Pip wasn’t sure what it was.

She tried again. ‘And how’s work going?’ Work was the one subject that could be guaranteed to get him talking. ‘Are you busy?’

Dominic nodded, pulling at his earlobe in a way Pip had always found endearing, but that she now suspected might be a tell of some sort.