Regretting You(55)

Jonah’s voice is so gentle right now I actually find a semblance of comfort in his words. I nod, appreciative he pulled me into his classroom. He reaches out and squeezes one of my hands reassuringly in both of his. “Clara isn’t struggling because Chris is no longer here. She’s struggling because he’s never coming back. There’s a difference.”

A lone tear slides its way down my cheek. I wasn’t expecting Jonah to actually make me feel better, but he’s right. He’s right about Clara, and it also makes me think what he’s saying applies to me. Chris’s presence wasn’t nearly as affecting as his absence has been.

Jonah still has both of his hands wrapped around one of mine when the door to his classroom opens. It’s Miller. He walks into the classroom and stops a few feet from me. He’s looking at me like Clara might have gotten hold of him and told him how much I upset her in the hallway.

I raise an eyebrow in warning. “I hope you aren’t about to tell me how to raise my daughter.”

Miller takes a sudden small step back. His eyes dart from me to Jonah. He looks uncomfortable when he says, “Um. No, ma’am? I’m just . . .” He points at the desk I’m sitting in. “You’re in my seat.”

Oh. He’s here for class.

I look to Jonah for confirmation. Jonah nods and says, “He’s right. That’s his seat.”

Can I mortify myself any more today?

“It’s fine, I can sit somewhere else,” Miller says.

I stand up, motioning toward the chair. Miller hesitantly walks to it and sits down. “I’m not crazy,” I say to Miller, excusing my behavior just now. And maybe even my behavior in the hallway earlier. “I’m just having a really bad day.”

Miller looks to Jonah for confirmation. Jonah nods and says, “She’s right. She’s not crazy.”

Miller raises an eyebrow and sinks into his chair, pulling his cell phone out of his pocket, wanting out of our conversation completely.

More students begin to file into the room, so Jonah walks me toward the door. “I’ll be over later to finish taking the door off the hinges.”

“Thank you.” I start to walk out but realize how much I dread going home alone to think about the embarrassment of the day. The only thing that could get my mind off everything is Elijah. “Do you mind if I get Elijah from day care? I miss him.”

“He’d love that. I already have your name on the pickup list. I’ll be over as soon as school lets out.”

I smile, tight lipped, before turning away. I walk to my car, regretting that I didn’t hug Jonah or give him more of a thank-you. He deserves it.





CHAPTER EIGHTEEN





CLARA


Miller slides his tray onto the table next to me. “Your mother hates me.” He casually opens a can of soda and takes a drink.

I’m not going to sugarcoat it and tell him he’s wrong. “That makes two of us.”

He swings his head in my direction. “You both hate me?”

I laugh, shaking my head. “No. My mother hates both of us.” I mindlessly spin my water bottle on the table. “We got into an argument after you walked away. Not about you. Just about . . . stuff. She kind of hurt my feelings.”

Miller isn’t so casual now. He can see I’m bothered by it, so he turns toward me, ignoring the food in front of him. “You okay?”

I nod. “Yeah. We’re just in a rut.”

He leans forward and presses his forehead to the side of my head. “I’m sorry this year sucks for you.” He plants a quick kiss on the side of my head and then pulls back, grabbing the pickle spear from his plate and putting it on mine. “You can have my pickle. Maybe that’ll help?”

“How do you know I like pickles?”

Miller smiles a little. “I’ve spent three years trying not to stare at you while you eat lunch. Creepy, I know.”

“But also sweet.”

He grins. “That’s me in a nutshell. A sweet creep.”

“Such a sweet creep.”

Lexie drops her tray onto the table across from us. “I want a sweet creep. Found me a boyfriend yet?”

“Not yet,” Miller says. “It’s only been four hours since you put in a request.”

Lexie rolls her eyes. “Listen to you, talking about time like it matters. You’re the one kissing my best friend within minutes of dumping a girl you dated for a year.”

I groan. “Be nice, Lexie. Miller doesn’t know you well enough yet to be the butt of your sarcasm.”

“It’s not sarcasm. He literally dumped his girlfriend and jumped right into a relationship with you.” She looks at Miller. “Is that inaccurate?”

Miller doesn’t look like she’s pushing any of his buttons. He pops a chip into his mouth. “It is quite accurate,” he says. He looks at me and winks. “Clara knows what’s up, though.”

“Well, I don’t,” Lexie says. “I don’t know anything about you. I don’t even know your middle name. Is it also a brand of beer?”

I turn to Miller when her question sinks in. “Oh, wow. I didn’t realize your first and last name are brands of beer.”

“It wasn’t intentional. Miller was my mother’s maiden name.” He faces Lexie. “It’s Jeremiah.”