Reckless (Thoughtless, #3)(70)

That’s when the bathroom door was tapped on. “Kiera . . .”

There was so much pain in his voice, I shut off the water. I hiccupped back a sob and stared at myself in the mirror, willing myself to calm down. This was only as big of a deal as we made it. I remembered the look of horror on his face, the clear reluctance in his first few kisses. Those images helped burn away the heated, passionate kisses that had happened later. I could do this. I could handle being with him. I could handle being his wife.

When my breathing returned to normal, his voice called to me again. “Kiera . . . please.”

His voice hitched, and I heard a sound I’d never wanted to hear from him again. He was crying. Wiping my hands dry, I opened the bathroom door. He had his head in his hands, and his shoulders were shaking. I immediately wrapped my arms around him. He buried his head in my neck, murmuring, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please don’t hate me . . . please don’t leave me.”

I held him tight to me, my tears threatening to resurface. Stroking his hair, I shushed him, whispering, “It’s okay . . . I’m not mad . . . it’s okay.”

Eventually, he pulled back to look at me; his eyes were red, his cheeks wet. “How can you not be mad after what you saw? How can you not . . .”—his voice hitched—“hate me?”

I held his cheeks in my palms. “Who were you kissing today?”

He scrunched his brows, confused, then his expression softened. “You . . . I was kissing you. I was thinking about the first time we made love . . . after you told me that you loved me.” His smile was radiant, even under the layer of pain still on his face.

I nodded, my smile matching his. “I know. I could tell . . . and that’s why I’m not mad. I know you were with me . . . and I love you so much.”

Kellan sagged in my arms as relief filled him. “God, thank you. I was so scared I’d just lost you. You wouldn’t even look at me in the car . . .”

I held him to me, nestling against him. “I’m sorry. I just needed a minute. That was . . . intense.”

Kellan pulled back to look at me. “Never again. I don’t care what’s at stake. I don’t care who I have to let down. I won’t ever do that to you again. You . . . or me. I’m done playing their game.”

I sagged against him, my relief equally palpable. Kellan started bringing his lips down to mine, and I bristled. His eyes were wide when I pushed him back, the fear and tension instantly returning to his features. Cringing, I told him, “You . . . smell like her.”

Kellan clenched his jaw, anger flooding his features. “Not for long.”

Walking over to the shower, he turned it on high and stripped off his clothes. I smiled at seeing his familiar black boxers. I never wanted to see him in briefs again. Stripping those off, he climbed into the shower. I quickly added my clothes to the pile and climbed in after him. He gave me a brief smile as he handed me a bar of soap. “I want every trace of her off of me.” Nodding, I got to work on cleaning his back.

When I got to his front, I scrubbed extra hard over his tattoo until the industrial strength makeup finally dissolved and my name sprang back to life. When it was visible again, I smiled and kissed the indelible ink. Kellan gave me a charming grin as he started working on sanitizing his hair. Locks full of suds, he gazed at me while I scrubbed his legs clean.

When I worked my way between his legs, his eyes fluttered closed and he told me, “That’s the one part she didn’t touch.” He cracked an eye open, “But I do appreciate your thoroughness.” Giggling, I reached up to kiss him. He put a hand out to stop me. “Wait. One more spot.”

While I wondered what spot on him I’d possibly missed, Kellan grabbed the bottle of shampoo and squirted some in his mouth. I dropped the bar of soap as I gaped at him. “Kellan!”

Holding up his finger, he swished the horrid liquid around his mouth, then he made a face like he was about to vomit, and leaned over to spit it out. While he choked and sputtered, I started laughing. My eyes watered with merriment, and it felt so good. “I cannot believe you just did that!”

Kellan held his face up to the showerhead; bubbles foamed from his mouth and traveled down his chin. The tears ran down my cheeks as I laughed. Spitting and choking, Kellan scrubbed his tongue with the top of a loofah sponge. I had to hold in my stomach; my sides were starting to cramp.

Turning off the water, Kellan twisted his lips in disgust. “God, that was nasty.”

Getting my breathing under control, I wiped the happy tears off of my damp skin. “That was not necessary, Kellan.”

Kellan grinned as his adoring eyes searched my face. “Yes, it was.”

Loving him more than I ever believed possible, I wrapped my arms around his neck and hopped up so I could wrap my legs around his waist. “I love you . . . even if you are insane.”

Kellan was chuckling as he opened the shower door. “Good, because I think I’m going to be burping soap bubbles for a week.” Tangling my hands through his hair, I gazed at him until I thought my heart might burst. He unwaveringly met my eyes. “I love you too, Kiera. Just you. You’re my always.”





Chapter 13


Plans





The rest of the video shoot was a lot less traumatic. Kellan shot his part with the band and finished up his scenes with Sienna—fully clothed, this time. The band footage was amazing. It was like being back at Pete’s as I watched them rock out on the makeshift stage. Kellan was incredible as he poured his heart and soul into the microphone. And even though the audio recording wouldn’t be used for the video, they were spot on each time they played.