Reckless (Thoughtless, #3)(68)

“Cut!”

The sudden voice in the stillness made my heart skip a beat. I unfurled my hands and rubbed out the indents of my fingernails on my palms. I hadn’t noticed, but I’d almost drawn blood there too.

Sienna rolled off of Kellan while he sat up. “He’s not giving me anything to work with!” she yelled.

Kellan sighed and looked over at her. “I’m sorry. I’m trying.”

“No, you’re not, Kellan,” I muttered. Worrying my lip, I hated the fact that I may have to give my husband a pep talk so he could successfully make love to another woman on film. Which was doubly strange, considering the fact that Kellan had already filmed a love scene or two in his lifetime. In retrospect, filming fake sex should have been a walk in the park for him. But he was clearly struggling.

As Nick bellowed at Kellan to get with the program, Kellan searched for me. Standing near the monitors, I nodded at him and mouthed, “It’s okay.” He sighed again and looked away.

Nick was shooting bullets into me with his eyes, like Kellan’s tepid mood was entirely my fault. It made me think that maybe I should leave so this would be easier for Kellan. Just as I was considering going to watch the other D-Bags, Diedrich took a more proactive approach to his temperamental actor’s reluctance. “Remove the bra, sweetheart.” Much quieter, he added, “We’ll get his blood pumping one way or another.” Some of the men around him laughed. Staying put, I clenched my fists again.

Sienna shrugged and then removed her tiny black bra. She handed it to an assistant, not even bothering to cover herself up. How does a person get so much confidence that exposing their chest to a roomful of strangers didn’t even faze them? It boggled my mind. As did the perfection of her bountiful breasts.

Tearing my gaze from her, I looked down at Kellan. His eyes were averted and he shifted on the bed like it was the most uncomfortable place he’d ever laid down in. Even though he was in a spot that most men would willingly chop off their right arm to be, I couldn’t help but feel bad for him. He looked miserable.

Sienna either didn’t notice or was choosing to ignore it. Climbing on top of him again, she pressed her bare chest into his. Someone on the set made sure none of her unmentionable parts were showing while Kellan stared up at the ceiling and exhaled in a long, even breath. What I wouldn’t give to know what he was thinking right now.

After one last nipple check was done, an assistant grabbed Kellan’s hand and placed it on Sienna’s ass. Then they took his other one and placed it on the low ridge of her back—one of Kellan’s favorite spots. Sienna smiled and whispered something to him. Kellan looked down at her face and gave her a tight smile in return. Everything about him seemed tense, like he couldn’t relax . . . or he was afraid to.

Diedrich yelled action again, and Sienna leaned down to kiss him again. My heart instantly started beating harder, and I had to practice deep cleansing breaths. Kellan mildly kissed her back, his rigid hands glued into position on her body. It went on for a seemingly endless amount of time—Sienna trying her damnedest to turn him on, Kellan barely responding. He was so different than the passionate man I knew him to be.

Just when I thought Diedrich was going to yell cut again and Nick was going to evict me from the premises, Kellan sucked in a deep breath, closed his eyes, and started coming to life. It began with his hands, traveling over her skin, playing with the indent of her low spine. Then he started kissing her with genuine fervor. Before I knew it, there were flashes of their tongues meeting on the mega-sized screen right in front of my face. Lip smacking had been clear in the air for a while, but now that Sienna was getting a response from him, her light moans punctuated the silence. I felt warmth trickle down my palms as my fingernails finally cut through the skin.

Oh. My. God. What did I agree to let him do?

Now that his “actors” were getting into their roles, Diedrich started barking out commands—feel this, touch that, lift your head, kiss her there, roll her over. By the time Kellan had her on her back, he was completely and totally immersed in what he was doing. Tears stung my eyes, but I made myself continue to watch.

There was a camera at the foot of the bed as well as one beside the bed. The one at the foot was getting an impressive view of Kellan’s defined back. The thin bed sheet was strategically placed low on Kellan’s hips, just enough to cover his underwear, giving the viewer the illusion that he was naked. The sheet was so thin that it outlined his body, and every thrust he gave Sienna was completely obvious, and disturbingly graphic.

The camera beside the bed was the one getting a close-up of their faces. That one almost disturbed me more, because the expression on Kellan’s face was one I’d seen before . . . when he was with me. Eyes closed, he was breathing hard in between frantic kisses. Sienna was squirming and groaning beneath him; it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if she wasn’t acting, if he actually was pleasing her. Was she pleasing him? Was he aroused? I had no idea, and it drove me crazy not to know. I think knowing would have driven me crazy too, though.

Kellan’s lips played over hers. His tongue ducked into her mouth, then slid over to trace the outline of her ear. Upon request of the director, Kellan’s fingers trailed up her side, stopping right over the breast closest to the camera, cupping it. I thought I’d seen enough to give me nightmares for a month, but then Kellan ran his nose up her throat, his tongue stretching out to lightly taste her skin.