Reckless (Thoughtless, #3)(6)

My words stopped him cold. “What’s on the SD card?”

The amused smile instantly left Kellan’s face. Swallowing, he shook his head. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it, Kiera.”

Ignoring my parents for a moment, I stepped close to Kellan. I tried to reach around him, to grab his pocket, but he nimbly stepped away from me. Trying very hard to control the anger roiling my stomach, I repeated, “What’s on the card?”

Seeing that I wasn’t going to back down, Kellan leaned in and whispered, “Can we talk about this later . . . in private?”

I wanted to nod my head and sit down to explain my “symbolic” marriage to my worried parents, but I couldn’t get the smirk on Joey’s face out of my mind. Aware that I sounded like a broken record, but not able to stop myself, I asked again, “What’s on the card?”

Irritated at me now, Kellan narrowed his eyes and snapped, “What do you think it is, Kiera? We filmed ourselves screwing!” Instant remorse crossed his face once he realized what he’d just crassly told me. Kellan sometimes lost the filter on his mouth when he got annoyed, and Joey confronting him had put him on edge. I guess my incessant questions pushed him over it.

My mouth dropped open and I felt like he’d just doused me with ice water. I knew that’s what he was going to say, I really did, but hearing him confess it hurt. My whole body felt cracked, torn. Eyes quickly watering, I murmured, “You made a sex tape with her?”

My mom cleared her throat and shifted on the couch. That’s when I suddenly remembered that Kellan and I weren’t alone. No, I stupidly hadn’t been able to wait until we were in private to start this conversation. I really wished I’d been able to squelch my curiosity. I’d give anything to not know that my new husband had a documentary of him banging another girl in his pocket. And I’d really give anything for my parents to not know that too.

Seeing my pain, Kellan came toward me, arms extended. “Kiera, I can explain.”

I held my palms up to him as tears dropped to my cheeks. I didn’t want an explanation right now. I just wanted to be alone. Turning from him and my parents, I darted up the stairs. I heard Kellan asking me to wait and my mom calling my name, but I ignored them. Slamming the bedroom door behind me, I tossed my shoes across the room, collapsed onto my bed, and let the tears flow freely.

So much for nothing ruining my happiness.





Chapter 2


Falling in Love





Once the tears were expelled I felt better about the situation. I knew I was overreacting; it wasn’t as if Kellan had just made the tape recently or anything. The shock of it had thrown me, was all. And the disgust. I couldn’t stand the idea of another woman’s hands on him, regardless of when it had happened. Having the memories of hearing him please other girls while I was across the hall was bad enough. The idea of watching it made me want to throw up. In fact, I held my hand over my mouth just in case.

When my sobs subsided, I heard murmuring downstairs. Dad was probably giving Kellan a piece of his mind. Knowing I needed to get over this, I tried to think of anything but Joey’s yellow high heels wrapped around Kellan’s torso. It was really difficult to push that image from my head, though.

Needing some help from the present, I slipped off my promise ring and stared at the tiny diamonds lining the sides. As I studied each diamond, I recalled all of the romantic and touching things that he had said to me and no one else.

I’d rather hold a beautiful girl than be all bruised tomorrow. I need to be close to you. Every girl is you to me. You’re all I see . . . you’re all I want. We could be amazing together. You wreck me. Stay. Stay with me. Work it out with me. Just don’t leave me . . . please. I’m sure that I want my life to always have you in it. We’re married . . . you’re my wife. I love you.

By the time I heard a light rap on the door, my emotions and my stomach had leveled. I actually felt a little silly about the whole thing. Kellan cracked open the door but didn’t enter the room. “Kiera . . . can I come in?”

Rolling over to face the door, I wiped my eyes dry and readjusted my short dress. “Yeah,” I croaked out, my voice scratchy.

The door didn’t open right away, and I frowned at the closed wood. After another pause, Kellan asked, “You’re not gonna . . . throw anything at me, are you?”

A chuckle escaped me, and hearing it, Kellan pushed the door open. I smiled up at his worried expression and shook my head. “No, it’s safe.”

Kellan quietly closed the door behind him, then walked over to the bed. His eyes locked onto the ring in my hand that I was still fingering. His steps slowed and his eyes glassed over. Not able to pull his gaze from my jewelry, he whispered, “Are you leaving me?”

As I searched his troubled face, I considered what my fidgeting probably looked like to him. I’d gotten upset, dramatically run away from him, and then he’d found me holding my wedding ring like I didn’t want to wear it anymore. I immediately slid it back onto my finger. His eyes, still heavy with unshed tears, lifted to mine. My heart broke as I held my arms open for him. “No, of course I’m not leaving you.”

He still seemed unsure, so I sat up on my knees and grabbed his T-shirt. Pulling him into me, I flung my arms around his neck. He instantly relaxed as he wrapped his arms around me. Inhaling his scent, I whispered in his ear, “I was remembering all of the reasons why I love you so much. I was appreciating everything you do, and everything you are. I was falling in love with you, all over again.”