Rebel Born (Secondborn #3)(71)

“You mean steal them from the collective?” Ransom asks.

“To start. What if we could disconnect them from Spectrum, like you and I are now?”

“They’d still exist inside Spectrum—a version of them will exist.”

A painful ache hollows my chest. I stare at Reykin across the table. He was right. “So I’m still in there,” I say.

“Most of what you were is in there,” Ransom explains. “Remember I told you I blocked Crow from seeing pieces of your memory? I succeeded. He didn’t get everything in his Spectrum version of you. He knows almost nothing about you and Reykin.”

“What about Roselle and Reykin?” Clifton asks. His gaze shifts between the rebel and me.

I’m a little surprised Reykin didn’t explain to Clifton in all this time that I’ve been spying for the Gates of Dawn. From the moment Reykin returned me to Clifton’s ship, just after the Gates of Dawn soldiers captured Edgerton, Hammon, and me in Stars, I was technically a Gates of Dawn operative, even if I didn’t understand it right away. But I realize now that Reykin would never tell a soul about what conspired between us, or about my participation in espionage—nor would Daltrey.

The Gates of Dawn and the Rose Garden Society are adversaries in a different sort of game. They are friendly when the occasion arises to protect thirdborns, or to shelter me when I was secondborn, but they never have the same ends in mind. Clifton likes the Fates Republic. He wants the status quo—he just wants to rule it with me. Reykin wants its annihilation. He wants freedom from the Fates Republic for all of us. Reykin would protect every hint of knowledge about me to keep me safe.

“Did you work with Reykin as a Gates of Dawn spy?” Clifton asks.

“Everyone has secrets, Clifton,” I reply. Turning back to Ransom, I try to keep my emotions in check. “So I’m in Spectrum—a version of me—and Hawthorne is, too.”

“Yes. I couldn’t delete you. You were Crow’s personal punching bag within Spectrum. He’d know the nanosecond you went missing. I knew they were coming for me. I injected a prototype virus into the copy of me to erase my Spectrum backup. I’d already manually erased memories in my backup over time. This was just an extra precaution. It’s why I’m still alive. They were torturing me for my research, how I developed not only your implant, but also the virus I used to erase myself from their world.”

With my suspicions confirmed, that bleak feeling returns. “What do I . . . What am I like in there?”

“You’re like you, except there the physical laws that govern us don’t exist. It’s an alternate universe. Some of it is unexpectedly exquisite, but most of it is horrifying.”

“I agree you do need a lab, Ransom,” I urge, “but the focus should be on finding ways inside Spectrum’s world. Ones we can lock down when we’re not using them. In the meantime, we must disrupt their operations out here in the real world. We also need you to redevelop the virus you used to erase yourself from Spectrum.”

“I can’t go to the surface,” Ransom warns. “The moment I return to dry land, I run the risk of reintegration. My device can’t fight them like yours can, not now anyway. I can work on something that might help me stay autonomous, but I fear I’ll always be a liability in that regard.”

“Your lab will be here—New Gildenzear,” I reply. I focus on Clifton to see if he objects. He doesn’t. “This will be our base of operations. From this moment on, we’re a family. We do things as a family. That means the Rose Gardeners and the Gates of Dawn are no longer separate entities. We pool all our resources, and our only goal is the survival of . . . anything that isn’t Spectrum. We have to be ruthless and single minded in our purpose. There are no rescue missions from this moment forward. Our only goal is the eradication of Spectrum and our survival.”

“What if Spectrum takes you back?” Reykin asks.

I meet his stare. “Then I’m Spectrum, and you erase me from existence at your first opportunity.”

Reykin scowls. He turns to his brother. “Once we get your lab, Ransom, how fast can you build another prototype implant like Roselle’s?”

I shoot to my feet, my chair scraping against the floor. “Can I have a word with you, Reykin?”

Reykin pushes up to his feet, staring down at his brother. “You map out the Base in the Fate of Seas and give me a detailed inventory of the equipment you need, and I’ll get it for you.”

“But it’s guarded by Black-Os,” Ransom replies with a doubtful look.

I walk to Reykin’s side and link my arm with his. “Excuse us,” I say. I tug Reykin from the tearoom and walk him through the main floor of Clifton’s abode. Outside, near the cauldrons, I let go of his arm.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

“Exploring options,” he replies coolly.

“You’re not going to volunteer to get implanted, are you? Because that would be stupid.”

He points toward the house. “You know your buddy’s going to do it—the god. Why aren’t you yelling at him?”

“He’s smarter than that. Clifton isn’t going to risk messing up his mind for all eternity.”

“I wouldn’t count on that. And why am I stupid for wanting to help and protect you?”