Rebel Born (Secondborn #3)(66)

“I’m sorry, did I scare you?” Clifton asks.

I rub the sleep from my eyes, sit up, and find a cashmere blanket has been laid on me. “You?” I ask, indicating the camel-colored covering keeping me warm.

“Your friend Reykin did that,” he replies.

“Where is he?” I ask, looking over my shoulder for him. The cabin’s empty except for me and Clifton.

His head tilts toward the forward cabin. “Reykin was curious about this ship, so he went to the control room to ask questions. He’s kind of nosy, but he took Chernobian with him. I feel as if I should pay him for that.”

I frown and glance at Clifton. “You’re not going to hurt Cherno, are you?”

He shrugs. “Depends on how he assimilates to our world. Killing him doesn’t seem to work anyway. I tossed him in a tar pit last time, and he just came back.”

I nod and worry the soft fabric of the blanket. “You know, you shouldn’t surprise me when I’m sleeping—I might . . .”

“Cut off my head?”

I grimace.

He grins. “What, too soon?”

My eyebrows knit together. “I’m not sure why you think that’s funny. Don’t you know I’m dangerous?”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” His smile could melt snow.

“It is a bad thing when I’m not sure what I could do at any given moment.”

“You’re afraid Crow and his technology will acquire you again?”

“‘Acquire.’” I frown. “I hate that word, Clifton. The Sword military acquired me and forced me into their infantry as a secondborn soldier, you acquired me to sell weapons for Salloway Munitions, The Virtue acquired me to be a participant in my brother’s downfall while I mentored Grisholm, and you made a contract with him to acquire me as your chattel in an arranged marriage.”

“You’re my fiancée, not my chattel.”

“Technically, I’m Clifton Salloway’s fiancée, not Cassius the Sacker of Cities’ betrothed.”

“Technically, Clifton is my name, too—it’s my middle name.”

“Would you have told me who you were before or after our wedding?”

“Would you have believed me if I did?”

He has me there. If he had showed me his power, I’d have thought it was some sort of technology, not divine genetics. “No,” I sigh. “Probably not. It’s a good thing we’re no longer engaged.”

“Excuse me?” All amusement is gone from his expression. “What did you say?”

I look him squarely in the eyes. “I’m breaking our engagement. I assume you’d want to forgo the nuptials anyway, seeing as how I have a device in my head that could activate at any moment and instruct me to separate your head from your body again.”

“You assume wrong. Where I’m from, what you did could be construed as a lover’s quarrel, and I’m adamant we keep our agreement to wed.”

“You’re not serious.”

“I’ve never been more serious,” he replies.

“What do you want from me? You don’t need me to take down the Fates Republic anymore. The government’s power was eradicated with its Clarities. What you want me for—to kill Crow—I don’t know if I can give to you. The best I can do is fight Crow, but I don’t know if he can die or be defeated anymore. He’s not anchored to a physical form. I don’t even understand what he’s made of now. Energy? A mind algorithm? Trying to destroy him may be as futile as trying to snuff out the stars. What we have now is a war to end all wars.”

“What do you mean by that exactly, Roselle?”

“Three different life-forms now dominate our planet. The beings we consider to be of ‘normal’ intelligence and biology, the beings like you, who consider themselves to be gods, and the AI beings who may or may not need a biological form. Evolutionary-wise, I doubt you’ll all agree to coexist.”

“You forgot to include yourself in that, Roselle. You encompass them all.”

“Or none of them.”

“Why wouldn’t you want to marry me?” he asks.

“Maybe I’m afraid of you.”

“Are you?”

“I was,” I admit. “You controlled my life and threatened my family.”

He frowns. “I was protecting you. Your family wasn’t worthy of you.”

“And I’m protecting myself now.”

He’s disconcerted. “Are you protecting yourself, or are you leaning into the punch?”

My eyebrow quirks in question.

“Are you walking away from me so it doesn’t hurt as much if you trust me and I fail you again?” A haggard look shows on his face. “I didn’t see Census or Crow coming. None of us did.”

“I don’t blame you for that. I actually find it comforting that you’re not omnipotent.”

“Why’s that?”

“I like knowing I could hide in the gaps between your control if I had to.”

“From me? It’ll never happen. I’ll always find you. I know you love me.”

I sigh. “Maybe I do, but it might be like how an orphan loves anyone who’s the least bit kind to her.”