Player(48)

I chuffed. “Well, we all have our talents.”

He pulled me closer. It always astounded me—just when I thought we couldn’t get closer, he’d squeeze a little tighter, pressing me into his body a little deeper.

Regrettably, we reached the turnstiles and had to separate, though we came together again the moment we were through, like magnets. When we stepped on the train, we didn’t sit even though there were plenty of open seats. Instead, he leaned against the rail with his legs split just wide enough to pull me into the wedge of space and against his chest.

For a minute, he just held me. “You nervous?”

“A little.” I paused. “A lot.”

“Tell me what you’re afraid of.”

I wanted to tell him, and it was the last thing I wanted to say. But I couldn’t seem to deny him. So I took a breath and spoke.

“I’m afraid I’ll be terrible. I’m afraid I’ll fail. I’m worried something horribly embarrassing will happen and you’ll never want to see me again.”

“What else?” His big hand skated my back, up and down, slow and reassuring.

“I…I’m afraid to…to be naked in front of you.” How I found the courage to admit it, I’d never know.

I rode his chest as he sighed. “I won’t tell you not to be afraid of that—I know by now that’d be pointless. But I want you to know that’s something that only exists in your head. I swear to you, whatever you’re afraid of will be the furthest thing from my mind.”

“It’s easy for you to say, Sam. You’re with beautiful girls, thin girls, girls with long, straight hair and flat stomachs.”

“How do you know?”

I started to speak but could find no argument. “I…I don’t know. I just figured.”

He was quiet. “Do you want to know the first thing that I look for in a girl?”

“What?”

“Her smile.”

I leaned back to look at him but said nothing.

His eyes roamed my face, as if he’d find an explanation written somewhere there. “You can tell almost everything from a smile. How easily it finds its way to her face. How sincere it is or isn’t. How it changes her eyes. How it makes me feel. Everything else is secondary to that smile.” He brushed the line of my jaw with the backs of his fingers. “You, Valentina, have one of the most brilliant smiles I’ve ever seen. It finds your lips almost as if that were their natural state. Even when you frown, the corners turn up like they can’t help but be happy. And when you smile, your eyes shine. Your face shines with it. And that hits me in all the right places.”

I took a breath that skipped in my chest.

“The girls you idolize and idealize and compare yourself to so very rarely interest me. But you interest me. I just hope one day you’ll believe me when I say it.”

Every vital organ in my body melted, except my heart. That thumped hard, sending waves of appreciation and adoration lapping against my ribs.

“And,” he continued, “you don’t have to be afraid it’ll be bad. I’m here to teach you, remember? I’ll tell you what to do.”

“Okay,” I said on a breath and a flicker of hope.

The train pulled into our station just as he kissed me, a hot, brief melding of our mouths to occupy the time until the doors opened. Hand in hand, we headed up the stairs and to the sidewalk where we stopped, facing each other.

For a second, we just stood there, the air between us thick.

He stepped into me, tipped my chin, and pressed his lips to mine with gentle affection. “Hurry,” he whispered.

A zing of anticipation shot through me. “I will.”

He kissed me once more before letting me go, but he didn’t move to walk away. Instead, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and watched me go as the taxis drove by, their taillights the color of desire, casting a halo around him like an angel of mercy.





19





Bell Curve





Val

It’s a blowjob, not brain surgery.

That was the sound of the impatient voice in my head, which had been berating me since I’d walked away from Sam. All while I’d shaved my legs, it had reminded me that this wasn’t a big deal and that I was overreacting. While I groomed my other bits, my brain was too busy trying to make sure I didn’t nick something important to reprimand me for my nerves. The silence was appreciated. When I’d stood in front of my underwear drawer, sifting through sports bras and panties with frayed elastic and faded fabric, it’d gotten back to admonishing me for not owning something sexier.

Although, when I’d put on my favorite red dress, it’d actually complimented me, which was a welcome change of tune.

And now I was standing on Sam’s doorstep in full hair and makeup and a fancy dress, which seemed so silly, considering my makeup was about to get wrecked, and if things went according to plan, my clothes would be in a pile on the floor within the hour.

Naked. Naked with Sam.

My stomach climbed up my chest and into my esophagus.

God, you are such a baby, Val. Knock on the damn door already.

It was the final kick in the ass I needed. My fist rose to bring my knuckles to the wood in a succession of raps that sounded far less confident than I’d intended.