Pieces of Us (Confessions of the Heart, #3)(61)

“Bedtime,” I whispered quietly, somehow not wanting to break up the tranquility.

“Ahh, do we have to?” Dillon complained.

“Yes, you do. We have a big day tomorrow. Benjamin has his first therapy appointment. It’s gonna take a lot out of him.”

Even though I knew he tried to hide it, Benjamin cringed, fear taking hold of those blue eyes that told their own kind of story. One of courage and determination and a life filled with pain.

The kid my hero.

When he turned his face away, I knelt down in front of him. He was sitting right up next to Maxon, and my pulse tripped.

Jumped at the proximity.

I tipped my son’s chin toward me. “Hey, brave boy. I know you’re nervous for tomorrow, but you are going to do great. More than great. You’re gonna blow them away. And just think of all the things you’re gonna achieve there. You are amazin’. Absolutely amazin’.”

Grief panged at my ribs when his crooked mouth twisted with a smile of timidity, this child never wanting to make me worry about him.

“It’s okkkay,” my sweet son promised in his fearless way.

I could feel the anxiety and questions coming off of Maxon, the way he stiffened as he angled the full weight of his attention on Benjamin.

He looked at him as if he were a stranger.

As if he’d known him forever.

As if he got it and didn’t have the first clue of what to do about it.

He glanced at me, gutted, at a loss.

Maxon slowly shifted and climbed onto his knees, and carefully he edged all the way in and wrapped his arms around Benjamin.

He hugged him close.

Pressed his nose into his hair.

Inhaled him as if he were meeting him for the first time.

Benjamin didn’t reject him or hesitate. He wrapped his scrawny arms around that fierce, strong neck, and hugged him back.

Emotion raced my throat, thick and sticky, and my hands started trembling, unsure of what to do as I knelt there on the floor as he hugged the child that I’d fought for. The child who’d caused me so much pain and so much relief.

A thousand sleepless nights and a whole, beating heart.

Maxon stood the rest of the way up and helped Benjamin adjust his forearm crutches, the man standing next to him as if he were meant to be his protector. As if he were the one fighting for him, too.

I was a fumbling mess when I climbed to my feet and swung Dillon into my arms in the hope that this whole thing might seem halfway normal.

Who was I kidding?

There was no chance of that.

Not when Dillon was uncharacteristically quiet as we started out of the kitchen.

I caught my mama’s eye as we went, her expression wistful.

Maxon followed right behind, his hand on Benjamin’s shoulder, standing guard over him the whole way up the stairs.

“Brush your teeth.”

I set Dillon down at the bathroom door. Benjamin sent me a confused, heartbreaking glance when he passed.

The child sensing the disorder.

The reality that our lives were coming up on a change.

A big, big change.

They brushed their teeth and got ready for bed, and Maxon followed us around as if he wanted to be a part of the process but had no idea how he fit.

The man lurked in the shadows.

Watching.

Too intent.

So much for him being nothing more than a friend who had come over for dinner.

The whole time, I struggled not to break down. Not to drop to my knees and cry with the weight of it all. To issue up a thousand prayers that I wasn’t makin’ a horrible mistake.

That I wasn’t putting my children in the line of fire.

Leaving their hearts unguarded.

Benjamin climbed onto his bed across the room, and I scooted Dillon toward his on the opposite wall. He scampered up. “Here we go,” I said, dragging his covers to his chin and pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Goodnight. No more troublemaking for tonight,” I whispered softly.

He grinned a sleepy smile. “Don’t worry, I’ll save some for tomorrow.”

“I’m sure you will.”

I pushed to standing, crossed the room, kissed the top of Benjamin’s head, brushed my thumb over his cheek.

“Goodnight, brave boy.”

Shyness bled into his cheeks. “Night, Mmmmom.”

I turned, unprepared to take in the sight of Maxon standing in the doorway. So gorgeous. Stunning. Completely broken down.

Our eyes met in a tangle of questions, and I slowly stepped back and gave him the permission he clearly was seeking.

He edged in, big body taking up the space, filling it full. I gulped around the force of it, shivers raking my flesh.

He inched by, and he made his way over to Dillon. He towered over his bed. Tension curled through the muscles on his arms.

Cautiously, he leaned down and ran a hand over the top of Dillon’s head, pressing a kiss to the same spot on his forehead where my lips just had been. “Good night, Lil’ Dill. Thanks for letting me hang out with you tonight. It was the best night I’ve had in a long, long time.”

His voice was grit. Rough and choppy. Overflowing with all the things he couldn’t say.

“Will you come again?” Dillon asked.

“I hope so.”

“Tomorrow?”

A soft smile tugged at one side of Maxon’s mouth, that dimple peeking out for a beat because I just needed one more thing to make me weak. “I’m not sure about that, but I’ll talk to your mom and see what I can do. How’s that sound?”