Pieces of Us (Confessions of the Heart, #3)(60)

He nodded tight, but he knew all the things he wanted to say would never fall from his mouth.





Eighteen





Izzy





“What did I get myself into?” I whispered where I stood at my mama’s side at the sink, cleaning up after dinner. Maxon was with the boys on the far side of the room.

Benjamin had wanted to show him his reading nook.

Of course, he had.

Did I expect anything different? Did I expect that bold presence wouldn’t make an instant impact on my boys? As if they were not going to notice him walkin’ through the door.

Hardly.

From behind, Dillon tackled Maxon who was sitting on the floor on the rug. My son roared like a monster, laughing uncontained as he wrapped his little arms around his neck. “Sneak attack! I got you! I told you that was the best kind.”

Maxon roared back, dragging Dillon over his shoulder, flipping him upside down before he started to gently wrestle with him against his chest. Like he’d been doin’ it for all these years. “Oh, you think you’re sneaky, huh?”

Dillon howled with laughter as Maxon tickled him.

“Get himmmm, Mack,” Benjamin cheered from his spot next to the window.

There he was, already rootin’ for Maxon.

Just awesome.

“Well, whatever it is, it sure looks good,” my mama said so only I could hear, her words full of suggestion as she snapped my hip with the dish towel.

“Mama,” I scolded, sending her a frown. “This isn’t about me and Maxon. This is about my boys.”

Apparently, neither she nor Maxon were gettin’ that. He’d left me completely rattled the whole dinner, watching me with that intense stare, as if he were contemplating doing wicked, bad things.

A shiver trembled through me at the thought.

She almost rolled her eyes. “Tell me you aren’t fool enough to believe that. That started with the two of you.” She pointed at Benjamin whose face was shining pure joy. “Can’t take yourselves out of that equation.”

“Thank you for the reminder,” I said, words dripping sarcasm. “I’d totally forgotten where babies come from.”

Or maybe that was exactly what I needed. A reminder to keep my panties on and my knees locked tight. Maybe order myself a nice chastity belt. Anything to keep myself from falling into the arms of that man. God knew, it would be far too easy to do.

“All’s I’m sayin’ is you can’t ignore the past, Izzy Mae. If he’s gonna be a part of your son’s life, that means he’s going to be a part of yours. It’s going to come to the point where you have to decide what role that is going to be. Think he’s makin’ it plenty clear where he stands.”

I glanced back over my shoulder when my mama peered that way, and I wasn’t all that surprised to find him looking back, watching intently, that face so gorgeous and eyes filled with something I wished I could avoid.

Sorrow and regret and his own kind of hope.

Dillon took the opportunity to jump him again.

“Got you!”

Maxon let him completely tackle him to the floor.

I wanted to cry out for him to be careful considering I’d seen the damage that had been done, but Maxon didn’t seem to mind at all.

Or maybe he was just welcoming the pain.

Tearing myself away from the scene because it hurt too bad to watch, I turned back to my mama.

Her expression softened. “Would say tough for him if it was all one-sided, but I know my child well enough to know when she’s missin’ something. When she’s wanting something, but she’s too scared to reach out and take it.”

“There are a lot of things we want in life that aren’t good for us, Mama.”

“I guess that’s the problem I’m havin’. He was so good for you, and you were so good for him. Together, you were something amazing, right from the start. Had a bond like few people ever get to experience.”

I sent her a playful scowl. “I think you have a crush.”

She laughed a soft sound. “Wouldn’t call it a crush, but I guess your old mama is one of those hopeless romantics.” She looked over at Maxon who was listening intently as Benjamin read him something from one of his books. “Or maybe I’d just always hoped for something better for that man.”

Heaviness filled my chest when I looked back that way to see the way he was tenderly interacting with my boys. God, had I ever wished for that, too. That he’d have seen himself the way the rest of us did.

Pushing out the strain, I tossed the rag I’d been using into the sink. “Better get them into bed.” I popped up and kissed her on the cheek. “Thanks, Mama. Tonight was really hard, and you doing all of this means the world.”

“Well, your daddy sure didn’t make it any easier.”

A soft smile pulled at one side of my mouth. “He’s just bein’ protective. I kinda like it.”

Mama chuckled. “Older he gets, the ornerier he gets.”

“Boys love him to pieces.”

Mama sobered, angled her attention to where Maxon was now reading the boys a story, both of them piled on him. “Just who are you talkin’ about?”

Ignoring the implication, I forced myself to walk that way, my heart rate kicking with each step. His presence gettin’ bolder the closer I got.