Pieces of Us (Confessions of the Heart, #3)(16)

And I’d gotten a job.

Relief billowed out at the thought.

A job that I needed terribly.

On top of that, it felt so good to be home with my parents, their love and support so strong within these walls that I felt as if I were walking around wearing a blanket of it.

But there was a dark blemish in the middle.

I could feel her hesitation before she tentatively asked, “So, how did it go? When you saw him?”

I shrugged as if it didn’t matter when it mattered so much more than I wanted it to. “Probably better than I could have predicted.”

“Really?” Faith’s tone filled right up with surprise.

“Yep. Ran out of there as fast as I could. Fight or flight. I picked the flight. I’m thinkin’ it was a good call.”

Because the last thing I wanted to do was hash out the past with Maxon Chambers in front of the Broadshire Rim grocery store. If I thought news of our unlucky meeting had spread fast, that would have caught like a wildfire in the middle of a drought.

I could almost hear Faith’s disapproval and worry.

“What?” I asked, chewing at my lip in discomfort.

“You know you can’t ignore him forever.”

“Why not?” Okay, of course, I knew. But procrastinating felt like a much safer option

“Because like I said, word travels fast.”

Pricks of apprehension stung my skin, biting down.

Barbs of regret and fear.

It was loaded down by a mountain of old pain that I still had no clue how to deal with. Maybe I’d ignored it for too long. Locked it in that secret place and pretended it wasn’t real.

The unfortunate part? That meant I’d been carrying it around forever. And it was always right there, lurking, threatening to break out. Accumulating in size.

I was terrified if I fully released it, let it out to run wild, it might just consume me.

Eat me alive.

Who was I kidding? It’d been eating me alive all along.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do,” I finally admitted, wisps of agony clotting my voice.

All these years, she and I had remained friends.

She, our friend Courtney who still lived in the area, and I had grown up thick. With each other every second that our parents would let us.

Over the years, I’d stayed closer with Faith, who had a quiet spirit I couldn’t help but be drawn to.

Understanding.

A confidant I could trust with anything.

We’d communicated through emails and phone calls and Skype. She’d even been out to visit me once.

But I knew the burden it put on her shoulders.

That I’d asked so much of her.

Especially once she’d finally married her high school sweetheart, Jace, who just so happened to be one of Maxon’s best friends.

“Are you askin’ for my advice?” Her voice filled with playful speculation.

“I don’t usually need to considerin’ you’re all too happy to dish it out,” I returned, teasing her a little. She never hesitated to tell me like it was. Of course, she never judged me when I refused to agree.

“Don’t pretend like you don’t call me for that very reason.”

“Well, that’s because you’re very wise,” I shot back.

“I’m taking that as a compliment.”

I couldn’t help but smile. “As you should. You’re kinda awesome.”

She laughed, then sobered, waiting for me to catch up to the original question.

In contemplation, I twirled the end of my ponytail that had fallen over my shoulder. “Okay, fine, what do you think I should do?”

“I think you should tell him.”

Right, right.

Just throw myself right off a bridge. My broken heart flailing out in front of me. No one there to catch it when it hit the raging water below and got lost in the waves of the river.

I’d barely been holding onto it, all along.

“And what then?” I asked, the words burning like a knife dragged up the inside of my throat.

“I don’t have the answer to that, Izzy. That’s a chance you’re gonna have to take. And I know what he did to you was horrible. Horrible. I won’t even try to make excuses for that. But he is a good man. I wouldn’t be suggesting this if I didn’t wholly believe that is the truth.”

Anxiety hit me, so strong I felt some kind of attack coming on. Knowing she was right. Not wantin’ her to be. My head shook fiercely. “How can I just. . . trust him like that?”

“You take a leap. It’s the only thing any of us can do.”

“I don’t know if I can handle him hurting me any more.” Grief rode out on the confession, those wounds gaping in a way they hadn’t in a long, long time.

Because somehow . . . somehow it felt as if Maxon Chambers had once again gained the upper hand. My life held in his palms even when he shouldn’t have any power.

“I know you don’t believe it, but he’s been hurtin’, too,” she murmured.

Of course, I knew it. That man had always bled pain. It was his biggest pitfall—his refusal to see that he could live outside of it. The belief that maybe my love could have been enough.

“I don’t know if I’m ready,” I said.

“You’ve been hiding for a long, long time, Izzy. Don’t you think it’s about time you freed yourself from the cell you’ve been locked in? You’ve let the past dim your light. You’re one of the most brilliant, genuine, caring people I know, and you hide all of that behind your pain and fear. You can’t fly if you’re wearing chains.”