Pieces of Us (Confessions of the Heart, #3)(14)

Ian caught it.

But what did I expect? The guy knew me better than anyone else.

“What was that?” he asked, speculation written all over him.

Needing support, my hands curled around the counter. “No clue what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t bullshit me, man. You think I didn’t just see that . . . that thing go down in your head?”

He kept Collin nestled in the crook of one arm, the other coming to his head where he made a little exploding motion, replete with sound effects. “Looked like a bomb just detonated in that tiny brain of yours. Now you’re as white as a ghost. You working on something shady that has you on edge?”

“I’m always working on something shady.”

It was the truth.

“True,” he said. “Then why don’t you tell me what the hell that was.”

“It wasn’t—”

“Don’t even say it was nothing. You think I can’t read you?”

Heaving out the breath I’d been holding, I scrubbed both palms over my face. Thinking it might perk me up. Get the blood flowing.

Problem was, the blood was flowing too hard. Sloshing and sliding and thumping.

Groaning, I dropped my hands. Might as well fess it up because the asshole wouldn’t stop until he pried it out of me, anyway. Not sure I could keep this from him.

“Might have seen a ghost,” I admitted, attention dropping to my boots. “At the grocery store.”

Could sense his brows knitting up, the confusion riding free as he cocked his head to the side.

Slowly, I lifted my eyes.

One look at me, and his expression paled in realization.

No doubt, my face was a mask of fury and guilt and regret.

“Izzy?” he chanced.

Izzy.

Isabel.

“Yeah.” I shrugged like it was nothing when it was everything.

“How is she?” he asked, tone wary, like he was wondering at which point it was going to push me over the edge.

Too bad I was already there.

“No clue, man. She took off before I got the chance to really talk to her.” I paused, squeezing my eyes shut before I harshly shook my head. Needing to scrape this feeling from my consciousness. “It was for the best, anyway. Better to leave it alone.”

Easier said than done. Because that selfish, greedy side of myself wanted to hunt her down.

Find her.

Keep her.

Take her the way I used to.

But she no longer belonged to me. I’d been cruel enough to make sure that she never would.

“What are you going to do?” he hedged, digging deeper. Wanted to tell him to fuck off and mind his own business, but considering there weren’t a whole lot of topics off-limits between us, I figured that wasn’t gonna fly.

Shrugging, I tried to keep the annoyance and helplessness out of my tone. “Absolutely nothing. There’s nothing I can do, even if I wanted to.”

I wondered if it came out sounding like a lie because that’s sure as hell what it tasted like on my tongue.

“And you’re saying you don’t want to?” he challenged, though there was something smug riding at the corner of his mouth.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying. Her life isn’t my concern anymore.”

Apparently, I was fuller of shit than Baby Collin.

“Really? Gave your heart to Clarissa, huh?” Sarcasm dripped from his question.

Repulsion seeped into my bloodstream.

“You know better than to even joke about that shit.”

“What seems funny is that you keep riding that crazy train.”

“She’s just a hookup.”

Such a fucking lie. I wondered if he bought it.

He covered his baby’s ear and muttered the words, “A good fuck and settling are two different things.”

I laughed out a bitter sound. “Think I settled a long time ago.”

“Yeah? Maybe it’s your chance to change it.”

“Took a chance once, and look where that landed me.”

Look what it almost cost.

He shook his head. “You’re an idiot.”

I went for his fridge and grabbed a beer, needing to shut this bullshit down before I spiraled.

That was just when a clatter of voices echoed through the house, getting louder before the kitchen door swung open.

Grace came in first, followed by Faith and Jace.

“There are my big men,” Grace cooed, going directly for Ian and Collin, hiking up on her toes and planting a kiss on Ian’s mouth. I didn’t even think she noticed that her kid might as well have been wearing a toga.

“How’d it go?” she asked.

Ian grabbed her by the back of the neck, pulling her in for another kiss. “Perfect.”

“What are you two talking about in here?” Faith asked, glancing between Ian and me like she’d caught onto something ulterior, her dark hair swishing around her sweet face.

Had known Faith for all my life. About as long as I’d known Izzy.

She was an incredible woman. Strong and resilient. Couldn’t imagine a better girl for Jace or a better man for Faith.

They perfected the other.

But that didn’t mean either of them needed to know about any of this.

“Nothing,” I muttered.