Perversion (Perversion Trilogy #1)(37)

“Because I need to know what happened to the girl who with one fucking touch and an accidental kiss fucking fixed me!”

Holy Shit. I fixed him? I know he said he felt a change in him that day because of his letter, but I didn’t know…all these years? He thinks I somehow fixed him. I’m not worthy of that statement. Of any of this. The warming of my heart makes this all so much more complicated.

“I…I didn’t fix you. Just because I like magic doesn’t mean I am magic. It was a fluke. Coincidental timing. You fixed yourself.”

“I don’t think you have magical powers, but I know what I felt when you touched me. I wasn’t just imagining it because I felt it again in the alley and in my room.” He lowers his voice. “I feel it now.”

I swallow hard. I don’t know what to say, but as much as I want to tell him the truth, it’s too dangerous for both of us. I know it now more than ever as the wind shifts all around us like it’s pushing us together.

I clear my throat and try to sound casual. “I just left town. That’s all. Moved homes.”

He shakes his head. “Your records were sealed. You don’t have your records sealed when you just switch homes. I’ve been in the system. I know how it works better than anyone.”

I look him up and down. “You’re so different now.” There’s a twinge of disappointment in my voice and a lot of appreciation I can’t help but have for the man he’s grown into. It makes me want to lean in closer and kick him away all at the same time.

“Now, you’re gonna tell me the truth,” he orders. “Where the fuck have you been for the last five years?”

“Here and there,” I say with a shrug. “Can I go now?”

Grim runs his hands through his hair in frustration. “Fuck, Tricks. Why won’t you just answer the fucking questions? I know you feel this thing between us.”

“Please don’t make this any harder on me than it already is,” I beg.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

I slap my hands on my legs. “It means that I can’t fucking tell you, okay?”

“Why? And don’t fucking lie to me.”

“Don’t you see? That’s the problem! I can’t tell you, but I can’t fucking lie to you either. Well, I can, but I don’t want to lie. Not now.” I meet his hard gaze. “Not to you.”

“Then, don’t.”

“I don’t have a choice,” I say as tears form in my eyes. “Why do you even care? We met once. We wrote a few letters. In the grand scheme of things, it was insignificant. We were strangers. Still are.”

“Bullshit!”

“I thought you said you didn’t want me to lie to you?” I argue.

Grim sits down in the blue stadium chair next to me, and for a moment, we both quietly look over the bay. It’s Grim who finally breaks the silence.

“What did you mean when you said you loved the boy in the picture?” He asks, throwing me off balance.

Confusion and panic set in. I give up my quest for the truth and revert to what I’m good at. Lies. ALL THE LIES. “I really didn’t mean that,” I back pedal.

“Yes, you did,” Grim replies. “If you can’t tell me where you’ve been or why you said that, at least, answer me this: why are you here?”

“You carried me here,” I say sarcastically.

His forehead wrinkles. “Don’t push me. Why are you here in Lacking?”

Because I was recruited by a gang I never wanted to be a part of and threatened with my life and the life of my best friend. Did I mention the man who took me prisoner is also your mortal enemy? Yeah, I’ve been working for him for five years. Great, right? Wanna grab coffee and catch up?

I sigh heavily, giving myself time to come up with a semi-truth that might appease Grim. “I got sent to a new home just outside the city. I’m just waiting to age out so I can figure out what to do with my life,” I fib. “They had a foster kid they took in a while back. He was…not well. Mentally. He was sent away and they moved, but he still blamed them. He sent threatening letters. So, when they took me in, they’d just moved again. They had CPS seal their address and my records. You know. Safety precaution. They don’t want me talking about it, and they don’t want me associating with anyone in Lacking because they don’t want me caught up in the life.” I try changing the subject. “Did that family adopt you?”

“Yeah, but it was more like recruited,” he replies.

“Ah, I know the feeling,” I mutter, instantly regretting my words.

“How so?”

“The couple that took me in? They did it because of my record. Because they wanted an accomplice to run tricks for them.” I shrug. “It’s not so bad. A little petty theft here and there. A few well-timed lies. Besides, I’ll be eighteen in a few months, so it’s not like I’ve got to stay long. They’re strict about where I work and when I have to be back, but it could be worse.”

“Could be worse?” Grim asks, and for the first time, I see the corner of his lip tug up in a half smile that I swear stops my fucking heart from beating. “Like you could end up sneaking into a member of Bedlam’s window and have a gun aimed your head?”